The Wolf Within
by Joy12908
Summary: It is said that everything happens for a reason. What if Bella's heartbreak was meant to lead her to Jacob? What if she could love him enough? Can she give their love the chance it deserves, instead of trading in her own personal sun for the dark shadows of the moon? Story takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Rated M for Mature due to future language/sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable characters/content are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer.**_

_**CHAPTER ONE**_

I laid there on the cold, wet forest ground as the rain started to fall, hitting me in the face. I slowly opened my eyes, taking another shaky breath. I could barely see the hand that was in front of me. It was so dark. I had been in the forest for hours, aimlessly wandering around in hopes to find him. I knew how very naïve this hope was but I searched anyway.

Somewhere, In the far off distance, I could hear the sound of my name being called repeatedly...

"Bella... Bella." It said, over and over again. There was more than just one voice, each of them sounding different.

The rational part of me knew that I should get up, or at least try and answer them back. I knew that I should walk toward the sound of their voices in the far off distance. But I couldn't... He was gone... He's gone...

"It will be as if I never existed..." His words coming back to me again, echoing in my head, making it hard to breathe. Each memory ripping me open and making each breath more painful than if I had swallowed razor blades. I clutched my stomach, trying to hold what was left of me together.

I was soaked to the bone and freezing cold, as I closed my eyes, feeling the rain on my face and welcoming whatever may come.

I should be fearful. I should have some sense of worry, panic even... But there was nothing... I was numb... entirely numb.

A very warm hand touched my arm and I vaguely remember being present enough to feel the same warm arms lift me up and carry me out of the wet forest though my eyes remained closed...

Maybe this was death. Maybe this is what death felt like. I felt like I was floating on air, being lifted with such grace. Several voices, and a lot of footsteps surrounded me as I felt my weight shift. The warm arms releasing me, passing me off to another pair of strong arms... "I've got her... I've got her..." A familiar, comforting voice said from above me... Charlie?

I heard a front door open, my front door and knew I was home. Charlie laid me down on the sofa and I curled up into a ball. Not wanting to be present or feel anymore pain.

Just let me be... please... He's gone... They're all gone.

Agony ripped it's way through my chest, causing me to gasp and tears to run down my face. I heard Charlie try to speak to me.. "Bella... honey? Can you hear me?"

I couldn't speak, even If I wanted to. It was all too much.

He was never coming back...

I laid there, feeling Charlie wrap me up in a blanket and leaving me be on the couch. "She seems to be okay. I'll keep an eye on her and take her to the doctor's if needed, tomorrow." Charlie's voice cracked on the last word, showing me a side of him I had never seen before. "Thank you." He said, to whom though I was not sure.

I felt the weight of the day powerfully pulling at me as I welcomed sleep with open arms. Wanting to feel nothing at least for a little while.

The couch shifted beneath me and I knew Charlie was sitting at the end of it. I could feel his worried eyes on me. He didn't speak and after a few more minutes, I fell asleep, not wanting to wake up.

I had nightmare's ... one right after the other. All of them making me scream out in horror. All of them ending the same... Edward leaving me... them all being gone... Me chasing him through the forest and never being able to find him. Never being able to feel his cool breath on my face, or his cold lips to mine again.

Charlie looked like he was scared out of his mind each time he would hear me scream. He would come bursting into my room, panic evident on his face. My last nightmare was all I could take. I finally gave up on sleeping anymore.

It was early morning as I got up, dragging myself insensibly to the shower. I was still cold as I turned the shower on scalding hot and washed up. Letting the hot water warm me. I mechanically brushed my teeth, and hair, blow drying it, and slipping on my black pants and white long sleeved cotton shirt for the day.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, seeing how void of light my eyes had become. I shuttered as I switched off the light in the bathroom and walked into my room, seeing all evidence of him was now gone. He had taken everything..." It will be as if I never existed..." His velevet voice, repeating the same thing to me, over and over in my head.

I sat down on the edge of my bed, clutching my stomach, gasping... "Never even existed..."

I felt so empty, void of any and all emotion. Charlie stepped into my room, looking down at me with worry. "You're up... how... how do you feel.."

I kept my eyes focused on the ground, not trusting them not to betray me... exposing how I really felt.

"Yea... I got up a bit ago... I'm okay... Just tired." I lied, horribly.

"Bella..." Charlie sat down next to me, placing a hand on my knee..."Did... he... Edward... just leave you there, in the woods like that?" The anger in Charlie's voice was evident. The mention of his name, causing me to feel like I had swallowed more razors. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult.

"No... Dad... I ... just need my rest... Can we talk later?" I asked him, not meeting his eyes with mine. I had to get him out of my room. I could feel myself losing my grip ... the grip of any little control I had left over my emotions at all.

Charlie nodded..."Okay... I'll be downstairs... if you need anything..." He kissed my forehead and left, closing my bedroom door slowly behind him. I walked over to my rocking chair that faced the window. The one he always sat in at night. I traced my fingers along the wooden arm of it and sat down, pulling my knee's up to my chest, staring blankly out my bedroom window. The leave's were already changing. Fall strong in the air. October would be here in a few short weeks.

I sat there for hours, only getting up for a glass of water or to use the bathroom every so often. Day turned into night and night turned back into day. This pattern continued, in the same cycle. The same routine, each day, every day, for weeks before the weeks turned into a month.

I couldn't sleep, though I tried. My nightmares tormented me each night, waiting for me, causing my screams to pierce through the walls of my room and waking Charlie every few hours. He had called in for a week of personal absence from the station last week. He was very worried about me and I could see that. I felt guilty for it but knew there was little I could do about it. I could hardly pull myself together, let alone offer my father any real sense of reassurance.

I would try every day to get up, shower, get dressed and ready for the day. Go to school and come home as normal as I could. But inside... I was empty. I had lost a little weight from my lack of appetite over the last month. All of my jeans that Renee had been nice enough to buy me, were now all a bit loose on me. I just added a belt to each outfit and didn't really care. But on a five foot five, one hundred - ten pound frame, I knew I didn't look healthy with the recent weight loss. I was borderline too thin.

Nothing appealed to me, not even coffee, Or pizza, my once all time favorite foods had all lost there meaning and taste to me.

I came home from school one night, pulling into my yard to see Charlie sitting on the porch waiting for me. "This can't be good..." I muttered to myself as I got out.

I closed the door and slowly walked over to him as he stood up, meeting me face to face. "Bella... It's time honey... I just talked to your mom... and uh... We both think that it's time you go back to Jacksonville. Be there with her. Maybe she can help you through this... I obviously can't." Charlie's eyes grew misty on the last word, making guilt twist painfully in my stomach. I hated what I was putting him through, too.

I cleared my throat, finding my voice, and speaking for only the third time all day... "I... don't... want to leave Forks. I'm not leaving." I said, drawing a shaky breath. Charlie shook his head in protest.

"Bella... honey... he's not coming back and you're not getting any better... It's been weeks... weeks..."

I wrapped my arms around myself at his words, knowing how true they were... He wasn't coming back. They all were gone ... forever...

I had to convince Charlie I would do better. I didn't want to leave Forks.

"No... I know..." I said softly, looking up at him... "I'm ... actually going out later... with uh... Jessica... from school... I need to get out. Maybe go shopping or something." I nodded, looking at him again, trying to sound as convincing as I could...

"Bella you hate shopping. Your mom and I always have to go for you. Your whole wardrobe is from her, sending it to you for gifts... "

He had a good point there. I usually relied solely on Renee to send me the new clothes from all the name brand places she would shop at on a monthly basis. Her desire for shopping far outweighed my own. I was thankful for her to do it for me, cause I never had been one to go spend a whole day at the mall. I would rather get lost in a good book all afternoon. I thought fast...

"Well... we're probably not going shopping. We were thinking of going to see a movie... actually..."

Charlie looked down at me, crossing his arms in front of his chest... "Okay... Bella... Honey..." He said, placing a hand on my arm. "I don't want you to go... I don't... But I want you better... okay?"

I nodded, understanding him..."Okay... I know... I'll be okay, Dad."

I gave him the best fake, half a smile that I could muster and walked around him, heading into the house.

I had convinced him for now to let me stay. But I was going to have to do some major acting here in the next few weeks to really make him see the change, and let me stay here in Forks. It would be hard, But I thought if I tried hard enough, I could pull it off. I could convince him enough

I grabbed the phone from the reciever in the kitchen, and dialed Jessica... please be home...

"Hello?" Jessica answered cheerfully, after only a few short rings.

"Hey... Jessica... it's Bella... Bella Swan... Listen... I know it's short notice, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight? Maybe... see a movie in Port Angeles?"

There was a long, drawn out, awkward silence on the other end...

I heard Jessica sigh, and then laugh a bit... "Well... okay... I can meet you in an hour? I'll actually pick you up, is that okay?" She offered. A sigh of relief cam from me, as I was glad she was willing to do this. Saving me from endless questions and being under the watchful, observant eyes of Charlie all night.

"Yea...I'll be ready... sounds good. See you later..." I replied, hearing her say good bye before hanging up.

I walked up the stairs, rummaging through my closet, looking through the new clothes Renee had just sent in a big package a few weeks ago. I hadn't even touched them. Their tags were still firmly attached. I found a grey sweater and a pair of Black skinny jeans. I quickly removed the tags from them and slipped them on as I looked at myself in the long mirror on my closet door. I looked nice, presentable at least. The jeans fit me well, despite my recent loss.

I went into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and hair and putting a small amount of mascara on my lashes, trying to make my eyes seem more alive at least. I was never one to wear more than a few cosmetics at a time. I grabbed my jacket off the back of my door, slipping it on and running down the stairs.

Charlie saw me and whipped around in the kitchen, doing a double take. The hint of a smile forming on his mouth. "Wow... Bella... you look real nice, honey... Have a good time and be safe okay? Call me on your way home?"

I nodded and kissed him on the cheek, quickly running out the door just as Jessica pulled up to get me in her silver Ford Focus. I jumped in with a fake smile.. "Hey... Thanks for this... hanging out with me." I said to her. She smiled and we took off for Port Angeles.

We made great time, getting to the Zombie movie a mere five minutes before it started. There were no lines at the consession stands, so we were able to get our soda's and popcorn rather quickly. The previews had just begun as we took our seats mid - theatre.

Jessica smiled at me as she took a handful of popcorn, tossing it into her mouth... "So... you really would rather see this than the ramance comedy, playing across the hall?"

I nodded to her. Just the thought of seeing a couple together, all happy and so in love, made my stomach flip and my chest hurt. "Yea... I've wanted to see this." I replied to her. Jessica simply chuckled with a shrug just as the lights dimmed and the movie began to play.

The theatre was about half full, leaving us plenty of room to be comfortable. I glanced across from us, seeing a familair face that I couldn't place at the moment, sitting there with a girl next to him. He looked so familiar.

I took a small hand of popcorn, aimlessly taking small bites and picking at it, glancing at them every few seconds. Where had I seen him before? He chuckled at the girl who placed her face in his neck, snuggling up to him at the first Zombie attacking one of the main characters in the film. Everyone jumped and a few gasps were let out. I was hardly paying attention although Jessica was fully engrossed in it. I turned my head a bit, trying to get a better look at him when he suddenly glanced in my direction, eyes's meeting mine with half a grin.

I suddenly remembered who he was and where I had seen him before. It was Quil... Jacob's best friend. I'd met him a while ago on first beach in La Push, when everyone went surfing. It seemed now like a lifetime ago. That was the day Jacob had told me about the 'cold one's'. The memory sparking raw pain to go through me. Quil waved at me with a small nod as I gave him a weak smile back in return. He soon turned his attention back to his date and the movie, tossing a handful of M&amp;M's into his mouth.

Seeing him made me think of Jacob. I hadn''t seen him in weeks. He had tried to call me several times now. I just didn't have it in me to say anything to say to him. I had barely been making any conversaatiion with Charlie over the past six weeks. I sighed heavily, feeling guilty that I hadn't returned one of his phone calls. I made a quiet mental note to do so later this week. The last time I had seen him was on my Birthday... at school, when he dropped by wish me a Happy 18th Birthday.

Memories of my Party at the Cullen''s were now fresh in my mind... Jasper trying to kill me... I stopped there, not allowing myself to finish the thought.

The movie went on for about two hours and then we headed home. It had been good to get out with Jessica again.

As we walked out, I noticed a biker gang hanging out by Pete's bar. I stopped, closely looking at one of them, remembering the last time I was in Port Angeles at night. I shook my head and felt Jessica grab my arm, looping it in hers...

"Uh... Bella... let's go." She said, tugging on me to follow her to the car.

"Hang on... I think I know one of them."

They looked back at me, whistling. The larger man in the front, already on his bike, called me sugar... reminding me so much of that night Edward... I winced at thinking his name... came to rescue me from the group of boys.

I stood there in the middle of the street, looking intently at them, fully aware of my soon to be rash decision as Jessica tugged hard on my arm.

"Bella... lets go! I'm serious! Are you suicidal or do you have a death wish or something?" She asked me in a stern, low whisper.

Maybe I did... Maybe I had come completely unhinged. After all, why else would I choose to be so brazenly bold?

I walked away from her and slowly headed for them. My feet move and my head was void of all logical reasoning. That's when I heard it, stopping me stone cold in my tracks, half way to them. Edwards velvet voice appeared to me... "Bella... turn around. You promised me... nothing reckless"

I stood there frozen, looking ahead at his perfect face. I must be dreaming. This couldn't be real. His image and voice faded away as fast as they came.

I took another few steps toward the men on the bike's, testing it, hoping it would come back. When I reached the men, the one in the front asked me if I wanted a ride. and motioned for me to get on the back of his bike. I climbed on, not even thinking, and closed my eyes, listening to hear the most heavenly voice I had ever heard come back to me. The bike roared to life beneath me, and the man told me to hang on, speeding off fast into the night. We sped up, and the voice came back to me with a stern tone. "Bella..." I watched ahead as his perfect image came to appear there at the end of the road.

We got closer and closer to it as fear began to rise within me, clawing at my throat..

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I screamed to the man, the bike skidding to a holt. Edwards image vanishing like a vapor before me. He was gone again.

The man took me back to Jessica, who was beyond furious when I reached her.

"What the hell were you thinking! Bella... are you crazy! I mean seriously! He could have killed you!" She grabbed my arm and lead me to the car.

I quickly got in and we rode the whole way home in silence. I felt guilty for putting her in a situation like that. I don't know what the hell had come over me. "Jessica... I'm sorry. You're right that was really... stupid... I'm sorry." She nodded, seeming to accept my apology, as we pulled up to the house.

"It's okay... just next time... don't do something so crazy!" She gave me a half smile, while I thanked her for the evening and got out. Jessica honked her horn, waving as she drove away.

I walked into the house, noticing it was eerily quiet. Charlie had left me a note, saying he was working a double shift but had left me some pizza in the fridge. I sighed, hating to be alone lately as I glanced up at the clock, seeing it was nearly 10 at night. The phone suddenly rang, jumping me. I grabbed it off the reciever, quickly answering it. Sounding a bit out of breath from being startled.

"Hello..." I answered.

"Hey Bells." A warm, welcoming tone came from the other end of the phone... Jacob.

I ran a nervous hand through my hair. Finding myself unsure of what to say to him. I hadn't talked to him since... everything. Charlie had told me Jake had been there when Sam found me that night. I hated the fact that he had seen me like that.

I cleared my throat once, finding my voice again... "Oh... Hey Jacob... I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls... I just..." I stopped, falling short of what to say...

"It's okay Bella... I understand..." He said, with sincerity in his voice. Jacob had always been so understanding. Just part of who he was. Part of his charm.

"I just..." He paused... "Wanted to call again, to see how you were... are you okay?" His tone was evident with genuine worry.

It was no secret how messed up I had been. Billy was charlie's very best friend. Had been for years now. I knew with how worried Charlie had been, he had surely talked to Billy. And I'm sure Jake was there for more than one of those venting sessions.

"I'm..." I paused.

I had no trouble lying to everyone else and putting on a fake smile for them but when it came to Jacob... I had a much harder time lying to him. He always saw right through me.

I didn't need to finish my thought, Jacob knew. "Want some company? For a while... I know... it's kinda late." He paused, dare I say, sounding nervous. It would be nice to have some company for a bit. I was jumpy already being here alone.

"Sure...um...that would be nice...thanks..."

"Okay...I'll be over in bit..." He replied, with a warm chuckle. The hearty laugh I loved to hear.

"Okay..." I placed the phone back on the wall and stood in my kitchen thinking back to what I had seen and heard atfter the movie with Jessica.

He was so real... right there in front of me. I clutched the counter as the familiar pain raged on with an unrelenting nature within me from his memory.

Maybe I really was going a bit crazy. Maybe six long weeks of sleepless nights, long haunted days and barely living my own life anymore, had done me in after all, pushed me over the delicate edge I had been teetering on now for over a month.

The whole in my chest blazed with fire and radiated down to my stomach at the memory of how his face had appeared to me tonight, it's beauty... it's perfection. Something I feared was all just in my head alone. Not reality. After all... he was gone. But tonight, standing there in the middle of the street in Port Angeles, It had seemed to be all so real. Almost like I could have reached out and touched him if I wanted to. He was as beautiful as I remembered him to be.

I swallowed hard, fighting back the painful tears and pushing down the pain in my chest. I wrapped my arms around my stomach in an attempt to hold what was left of me together. The pain was so real and so raw, that I wouldn't have been surprised to look down and see blood coming from my chest. Evidence that my heart had actually been ripped out whole. Leaving nothing but torment and a heavy emptiness in it's wake. The tears slowly welled up and spilled over, running down my face for the hundredth time now. Sometimes I wondered how I had any tears left to cry at all. But they always came, seeming to have an endless supply for me.

There was a knock at the door and I quickly got to my feet. My head spinning from rising too fast. I leaned into the kitchen counter and wiped away my tears in a hurry. I didn't want Jacob to see me like this. I hadn't laid eyes on him since... he left.

Pain shot through me again and I clutched my stomach. I took a ragged breath and walked to answer the door, unlocking it to see Jacob standing there with a huge perfectly white smile on his face. The sight of it made me return one to him immediately.

"Bells! Where the hell have you been!" He said with his hearty laugh, scooping me up into one of his famous bear hugs and spinning me around outside on the porch. I laughed, the sound surprising me. I hadn't laughed in weeks.

He set me firmly on my feet and looked me up and down, eyes meeting mine..."You look... really nice."

I felt an unfamiliar sensation spread to my cheeks... a blush. Something that I hadn't felt in a long time.

I stared up at Jacob, noticing the changes in him from just the few weeks we'd been apart. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans. His hair long and jet black and beautiful. The kind of hair that any woman would envy him for. But there was something a bit different... He was bigger...

Had he grown an inch? Maybe even two? I thought he had. I looked at him... really looked and saw how much he had changed. His muscles were bigger, more prominent. It hadn't been that long since I'd seen him...

"Jake..." I said, running a hand through my hair with a small laugh. "You're like... buff..." I reached for his arm, feeling the muscle there..."When the hell did that happen!" The curiosity clear in my voice, as I noticed how very brawny he had become.

Jacob chuckled and glanced back at me. "Well... I'm just filling out Bella... you know... it wouldn't be such a shock to you, if you came around more often." He laughed again, eyes warm, meeting mine. I nodded and couldn't help but smile in return to him.

"Yea... true." I sighed in agreement as I welcomed him in and shut the door behind us. I watched him as he walked into the kitchen. He really had changed. It had only been six, maybe eight weeks since I'd seen him. I shook my head in disbelief. Was it possible to grow that fast?

"So... how have you been?" Jacob asked, leaning against my kitchen counter, arms crossed over his broad chest.

I took a steadying breath before answering. "I'm... okay and you?"

"I'm pretty good, just finished up my last class for school on the rez last week... I'm done."

"Jake... that's great! I mean... that's a big accomplishment to graduate early. I'm happy for you. I assume you'll be having some kind of celebration?"

He shook his head with a chuckle, looking down at the floor for a moment. "No... my dad wants to throw this big ass bonfire. I don't know... we'll see..."

"You should celebrate your accomplishment..." I said, nudging him with my left arm as I laughed, seeing his less than enthusiastic expression.

Jacob was always humble. Sometimes too humble. I saw the small blush creep up on his cheeks and smiled at it's warmth.

A comfortable silence fell around us as we stood in my kitchen. I felt Jacobs arm brush up against mine. His warmth was nice. Something I hadn't felt in a while. He put one arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him. Just the contact with him made a lump grow in my throat. I swallowed hard a few times. Fighting it back.

"You sure you're okay... really okay, Bells?"

I slowly nodded, not sure if I trusted my voice at this point. Jacob's arm tightened around my shoulders... "Really?" He asked me softly, a change in his tone.

"Yea..." I whispered, which was all I could manage..."I'll be fine."

"You know I'm here for you, right?" He asked me with such sincerity, it made the tears come back.

"I know." I sighed, quickly changing the subject. "What do you feel like watching?"

"Whatever you want..." He replied, sitting down leisurely on the couch. I sat next to him after popping in an action movie Charlie always liked to watch.

Jacob glanced at the cover. "Since when do you watch stuff like this, Bells? I usually have to plead with you not to watch a romance... remember..." He said, with a teasing tone.

"People can change..." I replied, looking him in the eyes. Silently pleading with him not too push the issue. Jacob's gaze remained on mine, reading me like an open book. The way he always had. He put his arm around me again.

"Yea... they can..."

I broke the stare and got up, feeling the lump in my throat return.

"Want some popcorn?" I asked, changing the subject. I knew Jacob never resisted food!

"Yea!" He replied with a smile.

I got out a glass bowl and threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. I hadn't eaten but once again felt no urge to either. I poured the bag into the bowl, once it was finished popping, and took it in to Jake, handing it to him, seeing he was already into this movie. Of course, it was one filled with fast chasing cars and cops. Nothing I was into. But it sure as hell beat some romance flick right about now.

Jacob glanced down at me, seeing I hadn't touched the popcorn. "You... not hungry?"

"No... I already ate... earlier ..." I lied, feeling guilty about it already. But Jacob knew better.

"No you didn't. Come on... I'll order a pizza. It's my treat?"

I shook my head in protest..."I'm okay really."

Jacob set the popcorn down on the coffee table, grabbing the remote and hitting pause. He turned to me with a serious look on his face, one that was out of character for him, revealing to me his worry for my health.

"Bells...Come on. You gotta eat something..." A look of real concern crossing his handsome face. I suppose I could choke down half a piece to make him feel beter. I'd do it for him.

I rolled my eyes in defeat. "Okay... fine... I'll order it." I agreed, going back into the kitchen and calling the pizza delivery place Charlie and I ordered from on a regular basis. They kindly informed me it would arrive in 30 minutes before I thanked them, gave them the directions and hung up.

I turned around and practically ran smack into Jake. His near silent approach startling me. He was standing right behind me. His reflexes quick enough for him to move back, before I could collide into him, no doubt hurting myself more in the end. He placed his hands on my arms to steady me as I glanced up at him, noticing the serious expression he wore.

"You sure you don't want to talk about ... anything...?"

I shook my head quickly, knowing what would happen if I opened up to him. It would all come pouring out, like a river dam over flowing.

I couldn't... I would fall apart. Jacob stroked my arms and I felt the coldness fade away from me. For the first time in weeks. I felt truly warm.

Jacob's steady, even breathing, calmed me as I fought the emotion hard. The walls I had built up, trying to save what little there was left of me, were in serious danger of crumbling right here, in my kitchen with him. His warmth was so inviting, that I found myself taking a small step toward him. I leaned my head against his chest, looking down at the kitchen floor beneath me. His hands moved from my arms to my sides, resting there on my hips. I felt him hesitate a bit before wrapping one arm around me, then the other and pulling me into him as I felt an ache in my chest and tears form in my eyes. I knew Jacob would listen.

"Tell me..." He whispered, and for a split second, I debated it. But I knew better. I couldn't tell Jacob, or anyone. I was alone in this. No one knew and no one could ever know. Tears ran down my cheeks falling to the floor.

"I can't"... I said to him, apologetically, feeling Jacob hold me even closer to him.

"Why..." He breathed ..."Why can't you?" My stomach turned at the pleading I heard in his voice. If I could I would...

I had to stuff all my emotions back in. I surely wouldn't be so selfish as to put this kind of burden on Jacob... No.

I pulled away from him, wiping my tears in a hurry before glancing up at him. I sat down at the table, keeping my eyes to the floor... "I can't... I'm sorry"

Jacob crouched down in front of me, looking up at me and placing his warm hand under my chin.

"You can tell me anything, Bella..." He said softly, pleading with me. My stomach turned. How I wished that were true.

The silence fell between us again. Causing my chest to ache all the more. Luckily, there was a knock at the door. The pizza guy was here.

I sighed in a bit of relief as Jacob stood and went to answer it. Guilt now washing over me for keeping Jake in the dark. He was guarded from all this and I was determined to keep it that way for as long as I could.

Jacob set the pizza box on the counter and looked at me. "Dinner!" He said with a chuckle. His straight white, perfect smile flashing over at me.

I got up, reaching for the plates on the top shelf of the cupboard. My hands were still shaking from earlier as I grabbed the plate and it slipped from my hand, crashing to the floor. I reached for it instinctively and sliced my inner palm on a large shard of glass. My head spun as I saw the blood start to run down my hand. Jacob reached for me, seeing me unsteady. "Bells..."

Jacob was quick... really quick. He grabbed a towel from the side of the sink,and wrapped it around my hand, putting pressure of it. I felt my head spin again at the memory of last time I had cut myself like this, only with a much different outcome. One where Jasper tried to kill me in the Cullen's living room. Thinking their name's again punched fresh hole's through me.

Jacob held the towel securely to my hand as the room spun aroound me. The rustic smell of my own blood making my stomach turn violently. I was on the verge of passing out as I glanced down to see the white towel soaked in blood.

Jacob wrapped a secure arm around me, helping to steady me on my feet. He looked down at the towel. "You need stitches, Bells." He said, seeing the amount of blood. I couldn't even speak. The smell was overwhelming. I simply nodded.

"Come on, I'll take you to the E.R."

I looked at the table where my keys to the truck were along with my green Jacket. Jacob grabbed the keys and helped me into my Jacket. He then helped me to the truck, having to stop twice with me leaning into him, my head whirling in fear of blacking out. I never did have a strong tolerance for blood.

Jacob quickly helped me climb in on the passenger side and than raced around, jumping in on the drivers side and roaring the engine to life. My hand started to throb and so did my head as we rushed to the E.R. Great... Charlie would be thrilled to hear this...

We were there in no time and walked in to find a pretty desolate waiting room. I was thankful it wouldn't be much of a wait. I approached the front desk with Jacob...

"I cut my hand and need some stitches." I told her rather quickly. She observed the blood soaked towel in my hand and quickly got a charge nurse to take me to an exam room. I didn't even have to ask if Jake wanted to go, he was right beside me.

The nurse sat me down and took some general information... Age, Date of Birth, weight, how I had cut my hand... the general stuff. When she was finished she smiled and said..."Okay... the doctor will be right in to stitch up your hand. I'll be back with some pain meds in just a minute."

It occurred to me that I had been unconscious the last time I needed stitches. I closed my eyes, remembering when that was... When James had hunted me, luring me to my old Ballet studio in pheonix. There was a lot more blood than this that day and a lot more pain. I felt Jake's warm hand lightly squeez my leg... ''You okay, Bells?''

"Yea... I'm sorry..." I whispered, staring blankly ahead.

"Don't be... it was an accident Bells... No big deal." he reassurred me. I glanced over at him, sitting next to me as he smiled warmly, his presence a great comfort to me.

The doctor soon came in, sitting down and wheeling himself over to me.

"Well... Miss Swan that's a real good gash you have there. We'll get that all stitched up for you in no time and you can be on your way." I nodded, knowing this was gonna hurt. I had never been one to do very well with pain. The doctor cleaned the wound with some antiseptic, it stung... a lot.

I turned my head towards Jake, looking away from the gash. The sight of it making me sick all over again. Jacob's hand gave my leg a reassuring gentle squeeze. I kept my head burried into Jake's arm. I couldn't look, I knew I'd surely faint. The doctor numbed the area and quickly stitched me up. I was thankful I could barely feel anything.

Before I knew it, he was finished and wrapping my hand in an ace bandage before he handed me some pain meds and sent us on our way. Jacob helped me back to the truck, keeping an arm around me. I was still a bit dizzy from all the blood. I shivered in the truck as the cold air blew threw my jacket. There was a real Fall chill in the air.

I scooted over next to Jacob, feeling the pain meds start to kick in, making me struggle to keep my eyes open. I laid my head on Jake's shoulder and felt myself falling asleep, comfortable there next to him.

My eyes slowly opened as I felt the truck come to a stop and heard Jacob cut off the engine. "You're home, Bells..."

I sat up, feeling so tired as Jacob got out and jogged over to my side, opening the door and lifting me into his arms. "Come on, Bells... Let's get you to bed." He said, carrying me inside. I tried to protest.

"Jake... you don't have to do that..."

He gave me a smile and chuckled. "I don't think I trust you to make it safely to your bed. Not this tired and certainly not with your lack of grace, Bells..." He laughed his hearty laugh, making me smile right along with him and nod in agreement. He had a damn good point.

He carried me in the house and up the stairs to my room, gently placing me on my feet.

"Thank you." I said to him, his warm, dark eyes meeting mine.

"No problem, Bells. Do you need anything before I head home?"

"Um... No... I think I should be able to manage. Charlie should be home soon so..."

"Okay... I'll call you tomorrow, see how your doing... okay?"

I nodded and watched as he flashed me his brilliant smile and closed my bedroom door behind him. I sat down on my bed, carefully taking off my jacket and laying back. I was beat as I threw the covers over me and was soon fast asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer. They belong to her! _**

**_CHAPTER TWO_**

I awoke to the dreaded sound of my alarm screaming at me the next morning. I hit the off button, knowing I had to get up and dragging myself out of bed for the simple fact that I had a shift to work at Newton's today. Only a four hour one, but still. I would be happy when it was over.

I made my bed with my one good hand and grabbed my clothes, heading into the bathroom to get a shower and dress. All of which was difficult. Not to mention, blow drying my hair was a huge challenge with only one good hand. I changed my bandages and walked downstairs to find Charlie sitting at the kitchen table with his breakfast and mine.

"Hey kiddo." He greeted me, glancing down at my hand, and seeing the ace bandage there. He jumped up from his seat, taking my hand carefully in his. "Jeez, Bella... what the hell did you do last night?"

"I had an accident... with a plate... the plate got the better of me." I explained, trying to make light of it all.

Charlie knew how clutzy I was. He simply chuckled, before visibly doing a once over with his eyes. When he saw that I wasn't physically broken anywhere else, he sat back down to eat. "I knew there was a reason your mother and I didn't name you Grace!" He said, before erupting into a fit of laughter. I simply shrugged, well knowing it was true.

"I gotta get going dad... work..." I said, slipping on my jacket and waving to him, as I grabbed a few strips of bacon from my untouched breakfast on the table, really hoping that would be just enough to satisfy Charlie. It must have been because he waved back and continued to read the paper without another mention of it.

I made it to Newton's still in one piece and worked my shift. The store was pretty dead, as I listened to Mike chatter on and on, all about this new video game he was trying to beat. Thankfully time flew by and I was on the way home before I knew it.

The rain had started to fall on my ride home and I was more than happy to be pulling back in my driveway, just as night was approaching. I turned the key, hearing the engine shut off, surprised to lift my head and see Jacob sitting on my front steps. He smiled at me when I pulled in. I waved back, as he approached me, his gaze immediately wandering down to my hand.

"Hey Bells. Hand okay?" He asked with concern.

"Yeah... Charlie thought it was a riot, once he was convinced I was okay." I laughed with a shake of my head.

The rain continued to fall in a slow mist, wetting our clothes, and making Jacob's brown T-shirt cling to him. My eyes fell on his chest and abs. Seeing the muscles well defined and prominent there as the shirt clung to him. I quickly glanced back up to his face, thankful he wasn't paying attention to my shameless gawking.

"I'm glad you're okay... be careful." He chuckled, teasing evident in his tone as he shifted his weight, taking a step towards me... "Hey... listen I gotta get back home... I have a few jobs in the garage to do but I'll see you soon okay?"

I thought it was really sweet of him to come over here just to see how I was. I nodded and thanked him, watching him as he turned to leave. I suddenly reached for his arm.

"Um hey... Jake I..." I paused, seeing him turn back to me, His warm gaze settling on the hand I had placed on his arm. I removed it slowly, feeling a warm blush go straight to my cheeks. "I was wondering... if you maybe... you wouldn't mind some company?" I didn't want to be home for the rest of the evening by myself and with Charlie gone, and no school work to be done. I'd have way to much time to think. A very dangerous activity for me.

Jacob's face lit up in response. "Sure! That is... if you're not going to be bored out of your mind watching me fix up a couple of bikes?"

Bikes... speed... a rush. ..reckless. This would be good, in more than one way. I nodded enthusiastically at Jacob. "Yes... I mean no... No I wouldn't be bored. It could be fun..."

"Okay... come on..." He said with a chuckle, smiling wide.

We drove to his house in my truck and went straight to the garage. There was an abundance of tools everywhere, and two bikes resting on there kickstands were in the center of the garage. Jacob strolled up to one, grabbing his tools to get busy. "They're pretty much scrap metal but I think I might be able to make them run again, maybe sell them... I don't know."

I sat down next to him, watching him. He worked fast with his strong hands, loosening tight bolts and ripping the bike apart effortlessly.

"Do you have to sell them? I mean... I'd like to buy one..."

Jacob looked at me like I had lost my damn mind, a smile slowly coming to his face."Bells... what... really?"

"What? A girl can't like to ride?" I scoffed in reply.

That certainly got his attention.

"You really want to?"

I thought of the movie in Port Angeles and what had happened when I climbed on the back of that man's bike, nearly giving Jessica a heart attack in the street. I nodded enthusiastically at Jacob. "Yea... Would you... teach me?"

"Absolutely!" He said with a beaming grin.

We sat there for the remainder of the night, talking and laughing together...Sharing a small pizza and a few coke's. I was stunned to find the ache in my chest was less painful when I was around Jacob. I couldn't remember the last time I hadn't felt a sharp ache in my chest, or my stomach. It was nice, an unexpected and comforting change.

Jacob and I spent the next three weeks working on the Bike's in his garage. Whatever Spare moment we had, we would meet at his place, and spend hours listening to music, laughing, remembering, and Jake teaching me the basics of a bike, and how to do an oil change in case I ever needed to do one. Which he assured me would never be the case as long as he was around. I smiled brightly at him, at the thought of him always being around. The mere thought sent warmth through me. Each day that passed, the whole in my chest would get a little bit better, the rawness of it fading. The ache getting more managable for me.

On one particular afternoon, Jacob was just finishing up the last few touches on the second bike when we heard the sound of many footsteps coming into the garage. I grabbed my bag, ready to run, thinking it could be Billy. Jacob placed a hand on mine, bringing me up short.

"No, it's okay... it's just my boys."

I heard them come barging into the garage, in fits of laughter about something as they entered. Jacob stopped and looked up them..."Hey guys..."

They stopped dead in their tracks, and all laughter faded upon seeing me there. I recognized Quil right off.

The Two tall and dark haired boys, both big, but not as muscular as Jacob but still large in stature, greeted me.

"Hey ... Bella.. right?" The shorter one on the right said to me, whose name I was unsure of.

I stood up and shook his offered hand with a smile."Yeah... that's me"

Quil stood about three inches taller and moved quickly past the first to greet me in his own eager way. He embraced me in a full on hug. Catching me entirely off guard. Jacob stood up, rather quickly and in a defensive response.

"Quil... ease up man." He said to him in a joking tone, but I caught the seriousness in his dark gaze.

Quil let me go with a chuckle. "Awe, come on bro, I'm just being friendly. Sorry I didn't get a chance to say hi at the movie the other day."

I simply nodded, feeling nervous for some reason.

"Bella... You remember Quil. And this is Embry..." Jacob said to me, with an amused grin on his face.

I was mildly aware that I was standing amidst brothers. Blood not needed. There was an aura around all of them. One that easily could be seen and felt. Something hat was almost tangible when around all of them. Jacob smiled at me and went back to working on the last few bolts of the second bike as Embry gave me a sincere smile of his own.

"So... you're... together now... I think it's great." He suddenly said, grabbing a warm soda off Jake's work bench.

I felt my breath catch in my throat and a rapid blush spread to my cheeks. Jacob dropped the wrench he had in his hands. It made a loud clatter sound as it hit the cement floor. He looked nervously to me than to Embry... "Uh... No... if you remember correctly, which obviously you don't, you'd remember that I said she was a girl and a friend... not girlfriend." He quickly clarified.

Quil burst out into laughter, punching Jake playfully in the arm... "Yea... sure bro... Embry do you remember him saying that?" He teased.

Embry shook his head in response. "Nope!" They both laughed and Jake just rolled his eyes with a cocky smile. playing on his lips.

I shook my head, feeling I should at least defend him a bit."So..." I chimed in..."You guys have actual girlfriends... that's great."

I heard Jacob erupt into a fit of laughter, His warm laughter now filling the garage. Embry and Quil stopped laughing almost immediately, shooting an appalled look at me and than to each other.

"Yeah right! Embry here took his cousin to prom last year!" Jacob said, in between his fits of laughter. I couldn't help but laugh right along with him.

"Oh yea Black..." Embry addressed Jacob..."You think that's funny?" He said, ramming into Jake and pushing him playfully backwards. Jacob dropped the wrench again and gave it right back to him. They grabbed each other, taking playful jabs at one another across the garage. I sat there watching in amazement at Jake's strength.

Quil plopped down beside me and laughed. "I got ten bucks on Embry." I shot him a side glance before my eye fell back on Jacob... no way. Jacob would surely take him with little effort.

"You're so on." I replied to him, more than confident I would win that small bet, and I did. They soon left, saying there goodbye's to me, and asking me to come to a bonfire on the rez this weekend. I thought about how I had no plans and considered it, seeing them wave as they exited the garage.

Jake finished the last bolt, and smiled brightly at me. "Done!" He said. I peered outside and knew we had a few more hours before it was dark.

I jumped up, hugging him. Jacob caught me effortlessly and with a chuckle at my dramatic enthusiasm. "Let's go!" I said to him, as he released me. "Come on!"

I ran outside and started my truck, as Jacob brought the bike's out and loaded them one by one, with next to no effort, into the cab. I was still watching him as he lifted the second one. He was ridiculously strong and that would be putting it lightly, a dull comparison at best.

I stared at him, seeing his eyes meet mine. I quickly looked down at the ground, biting my lip nervously. "Ready!" I asked, snaping my head back up.

"Are you sure?" He asked, a bit of worry in his voice. No doubt he was thinking that it may not be such a great idea to mix speed with my clumsiness. But I had confidence I could learn just fine, besides it was reckless and I knew I would hear the angelic, velvet voice again that I so craved to hear. I was well aware that this made me crazy.

"Yes! More than Sure!" I said, jumping in the driver side, and eagerly waiting for him to join me.

"Charlie would kill me if he knew!" He said with a chuckle.

"That's why he won't find out."

I drove fast to a side road in La push that Jacob gave me directions to. We were there in only 20 minutes. Jacob thought that it would be the safest place to learn and well out of the way of anyone who may see us, and report it back to my dad or Billy.

I cut the engine off, and looked over at Jacob, who seemed to be deep in thought.

"Ready?" I asked, wondering what was on his mind that would have caused his mood to change so suddenly.

Jacob stared out the passenger side window. "Yea..." He said quietly.

Something was clearly bothering him. After a few long seconds of complete silence, no sound in the truck but our breathing and the wind outside. He spoke again."You know... If I had been smarter, I would have drug out the rebuild of these bike's a bit..."

My heart sank as I realized where he was going with this. I glanced over at him, seeing the sadness there and desperately seeking to erase it from him. "Well..." I said, with a small laugh,trying to lighten the mood. "With as clumsy as I am, it could take a few weeks for me to learn how to ride." He turned, glancing at me. Warmth spread through me as I saw the big perfect white smile return to his face. Smiling so big, his dimples showed. Another one of my favorite feature's on his face. The one of many.

I jumped out of the truck and waited anxiously for him to unload the bikes. Jacob lifted them easily out of the back, and set them on the ground. The dirt road ahead of us was long and winding. Free of any traffic. It was an off the beaten path kind of road. Secluded... perfect for riding.

I zipped up my dark green jacket, feeling the wind start to blow again.

"Okay Bella... climb on." Jacob said to me. I was excited to learn but more excited to hear that velvet voice again.

I mounted the bike as Jake stood in front of me. I grabbed the handle bars, and felt hiss hands come to rest on top of mine. I glanced up at him, a bit of a shiver running through me at his warmth.

"This is the Brake... " Jacob said, gently squeezing my left hand. "And the clutch." He said, eyes on mine, squeezing my right hand. I slowly nodded... "And the Gas..." He said, looking at me to be sure I understood. I nodded excitedly at him, as he released my hands and took a step back. I hit the gas, hearing the engine roar to life and rev with fire beneath me. It was exilerating. I closed my eyes, soaking it all in.

"Okay... Now... take it easy, Bells." Jacob said to me, watching my every move very intently. I did as he said, slowly opening my eyes and felt the bike lurch forward, and then stall as a heavenly voice, purely angelic, came to me. I was startled for a moment. The voice fading as soon as the bike stalled. Desperately wanting to hear it again, like an addict looking for a fix, I started the bike again, remembering Jake's words. The bike roared beneath me and I gave it the gas, a little too much. The bike lurched forward again and this time it took off.

"Bella... Be careful!" I heard Jacob yell as I sped off.

The tree's flew past me and that's when I saw him. He stood ahead of me, in prefect form, in perfect grace. I lost my concentration and felt the bike slip under me. I tried to correct it and ended up over correcting. The bike slid sideways, causing me to lose all control and crash into a small tree. The impact threw me from the bike, and into a rock.

I laid there, staring up at the grey sky swirling above me and heard another motor approaching. I closed my eyes and listened as Jacob skidded his own bike to a sudden stop beside me. He jumped off and ran over to me..."Bella." He Said. Looking down at me.

I slowly lifted myself up, leaning back against the large rock behind me. "I wanna go again. I'm sure I'll get it this time" I said to Jake, desperately trying to get to my feet and longing to hear that velvet voice just one more time.

Jacob placed his hand on my arms, holding me in place. "No... No way Bells. Are you trying to get yourself killed? No... No more bike's." He said, with a bit of tense panic in his tone, as he searched me over with his dark eyes, seeming to look for anymore injuries.

I was dizzy, really dizzy, with a massive headache all of a sudden. Jake kept his hands on my arms, looking me over still.

"Oh man... your head." He sighed.

I felt something warm, and wet start to trickle down my forehead. I reached up feeing it and pulled back a bloody hand. My stomach churned at the sight of it. "Ow... Oh..Jake I'm sorry..."

"What are you apologizing for ... bleeding? He asked me, clearly confused.

I thought about it. I was so used to always being sorry for any blood spill. It came so natural for me to apologize without even thinking twice about it.

"Yea... I guess that I am..." I looked up at him as he smiled at me, shaking his head.

"It's just a little blood, Bells. It's really no big deal..." He said, standing up and ripping a piece of his flannel off. He quickly crouched back down beside me and pressed it to the gash on my forehead. "Can you stand, honey?"

"I'm not... sure..." I replied, touching the gash again, feeling the blood had stopped for now. Jacob reached for me, helping me to my feet. I leaned against him, feeling light headed, and a bit disoriented.

Jacob helped me to the truck, and quickly loaded the bike's in the back. He drove me home, luckily the gash was minor enough not to need stitches. That would have been really embarrassing to be the girl who need stitches twice in less than a months time. My hand was almost healed, didn't need to add another injury to the list.

I thought of the voice as we drove back to my house, his voice and sudden cold ripped it's way through me. It settled into my bones, making me feel as though I would shiver forever. Jacob placed his hand on my leg. "Come here, Bells..."

I didn't hesitate. I scooted over into the middle of my truck and leaned into Jake, wrapping one arm around his, and placing my head on his shoulder. The heat from him flooded through me, erasing the cold. He was a comfort to me, without speaking. Just being with him was enough.

We soon reached my house and I was thankful to see that Charlie had not returned home from work yet. I would have enough time to take a quick shower, and clean up. Surely it would not go over well if he saw me this dirty with a gash on my forehead. I walked inside and Jacob lingered behind a bit as he stood in my doorway looking at me.

"You have to go?" I asked him, secretly hoping he would stay.

"No... Do you want -" He started to reply

"No..." I quickly interjected. He came in, closing the door behind him. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed for my lack of grace today. Not that it should have surprised me. I dropped my gaze to the floor, feeling a gush of embarassment as my blush surely gave me away.

"Um... I think I'll run home real quick and shower and ... I need a new shirt." He said with a chuckle. I looked up at him and managed a nod.

"Okay... I'll be here..." I said softly. My heart raced as Jacob took a few steps toward me, reaching up and gently grazing his fingertips under the gash. "Sure you're alright for a bit...? It touched me that he was concerned. Although it shouldn't and didn't come as any surprise. That was Jacob. Just Jacob.

"Yea. I should be.I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay." He said with a small smile and was out the door in the next second. I stood there, thinking of the bikes and that voice... his voice.

The razors tore open my heart as I cluthed my stomach, gripping the end table in the living room. I forced myself to stand up straight again, dragging myself up the stairs and into the bathroom. I gathered some clothes from the dryer, something to change into. Luckily, my favorite Black pants, and white long sleeved cotton shirt, the ones I so often wore to bed, were clean and dry. They were still warm, I pressed them to me, the warmth reminding me so much of Jacob.

I felt the tears come again as I feared I would never be truly warm again... Ever. I turned the shower on hot and climbed in, quickly washing up and hurriedly getting ready. I knew Jacob would be back soon and I had to get dinner started for Charlie soon as well.

I dressed and looked at my reflection in the mirror, examining the small gash. It was not that bad. About half an inch long and not very deep at all. More of a surface wound if you ask me. I had certainly experienced much worse before.

I blow dried my hair and cleaned up the bathroom. I needed to be sure I looked presentable when Charlie got home, or he would suspect something. I didn't want Jake to get in trouble with Billy for helping me with the bike's. I would feel awful. I slowly walked down stairs, and started dinner. It was Spaghetti tonight. I made some extra hoping that maybe Jacob would stay. The heat from the oven, and stove felt nice. Though I couldn't seem to get warm enough.

I sighed, stirring the spaghetti as it cooked in the boiling water. Maybe I would never be warm ... or whole... again. I swallowed hard, not wanting to cry again. But the silent tears came anyway. One by one they slowly ran down my face. I wiped them away as fast as they came.

I was so deep in thought that I hadn't heard Jake come in. I startled a bit when I turned around to get the spaghetti sauce from the pantry, and saw him standing there, leaning against the counter with his perfect smile on, though it quickly vanished when his eyes met mine.

I hurriedly wiped my tears again, trying to ignore his look of worry, as I grabbed the spaghetti sauce and went back to work on dinner. Not daring to look at him, knowing the worry I concern I would surely see. I placed the cover on the sauce pan, slowly turning back around to face him.

I tried to act as though all was fine. Something I was great at with everyone... except Jacob. "So... that was pretty fast, I'm sorry about the bike... And your shirt."

He walked over towards me. "I don't care about the bike, or the shirt. They're... material. They can be replaced... other things... like you... can't be, Bells." He looked into my eyes with each word, conveying the truth in them. I nodded, swallowing hard at the lump in my throat.

Jacob took another small step to me. "Bells... I can't help you if you don't talk to me." He said softly, bringing his head up, his impossibly dark brown eyes looking straight into mine.

In that moment, I wanted to surrender it all to him. Tell him everything. Maybe I couldn't tell him all, but I could at least tell him some. I bit my lip, holding his eyes with mine and feeling the stabbing pain come back as I thought about everything I wanted to say.

Jacob's hands came to rest on my arms, rubbing them as he felt me shiver. His eyes were pleading with me. I had to tell him something... anything. I owed him at least that much.

"I'm..." I started, feeling the tears again..."Never... gonna be okay...and..." I swallowed hard... "I should be fair to you, Jake."

Even saying the words, felt like someone was cutting me from the inside out. Ripping me to shreds and leaving me that way. I looked down, hating how I felt.

"Bella, I know what he did to you... But Bella... I would never do that. I won't ever hurt you. I promise."

I felt the tears fall, one after another as Jacob pulled me to him. "Come here..." He whispered warmly to me, wrapping me in one of his warm hugs. I savored the feel of being in his arms.

After a while, I heard Charlie's cruiser pull in. I took a deep breath, stuffing my emotions back in the little box I had kept them in so long, and slowly pulling away from Jacob. He gave me half a smile, and released me just as Charlie came in. I spun around, quickly wiping away any evidence of tears on my face. I stirred the spaghetti, seeing it was ready, and dumped all of it into the white strainer I had in the sink. Charlie greeted Jacob with a friendly hand shake.

"Hey Jake. How are ya, Son?" I looked over my shoulder to see Jacob smile and nod in reply at Charlie.

"Pretty Good... you?"

They made small talk until I handed a plate full of spaghetti and meatballs to Charlie. He smiled and thanked me, giving me a small kiss on the cheek, before sitting down happily in his recliner, flipping on the sports channel. I looked over nervously at Jacob and quickly fixed him a large plate as well.

"I... was hoping you... would stay..." I said, handing it to him. Jacob's face lit up with the light that I had come to love to see as he took it from me.

"I'd love to. Thanks, Bells."

Jacob and charlie ate in the living room, going on and on about the Mariner's losing streek this year. I wasn't hungry, and hoped they would just eat and not notice. I washed the dishes and started to dry them when Jacob came back in the kitchen, taking the towel from my hands, and the plate I had been drying.

"You're not gonna eat?" He asked me, with a clear look of dissaproval on his handsome face.

I shook my head... "No... I'm... just not hungry."

Jacob nodded, and continued drying the dishes. "You don't have to do that." I said, reaching for the dish towel from him.

"I know I don't have to... I want to." He said with a wink.

I sat down at the table and noticing the time. It was 9 p.m. already. My heart sank to think of trying to get some sleep. I knew all too well what my dreams held for me. I looked down at my hands placed in my lap, listening to Jake put the dishes away. He soon finished and knelt down, placing his hands on my knees.

"I better get going, Bells." He said, looking into my eyes for a long silent moment. I didn't want him to go. But I couldn't bring myself to admit it, either.

"Okay..." I sighed to him. Jacob saw the hesitation, and the look on my face, and quickly back peddled.

"Well... I could stay... for a bit longer... if you want." He offered. And I did... I wanted him with me. Guilt crushed me, because I knew It wasn't for the same reason as he wanted to be with me.

"Please?" I asked. My own voice sounding odd to me, like I was being strangled, which lately, is exactly how I felt.

Jacob smiled up at m with a nod. "Yea... sure, Bella..."

I was happy to know he would be here for a bit longer but the guilt was weighing heavy on me. I looked into the living room, and saw that Charlie was already passed out. I rinsed off his plate and put it in the sink, glancing over at Jacob who was reading something in the paper intently.

I watched him closely, seeing the way his face was pretty damn near perfect. A slight rush of heat went to my cheeks, and I shook my head as I sat down at the table with him, seeing him reading the sports section with vivid interest. I laughed, causing him to glance up at me.

"What?" He smiled to me.

"Nothing, it's just funny. You guys and your sports... that's all."

Jacob laughed with me."Well... I guess it's no different than you ladies and your chick flicks really!"

I nodded, knowing he had a great point there. Jacob had willingly suffered through many chick flicks, just to make me happy.

I yawned, feeling tired, but knowing I wouldn't get any sleep tonight. I no longer could remember what a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep felt like, it had been months for me.

Jacob set the paper off to the side and stood up, nodding toward the stairs... "You look beat, Bells."

I truly was. Maybe this was one of the small parts I could tell him.

"I am... But... I won't get much sleep." I admitted. I wasn't sure how much Jacob had overheard in the past several weeks, whenever Charlie would vent to Billy. Maybe he didn't know about my night terrors. I glanced up at him, seeing his look of concern.

"Why's that.?" He asked me softly, eyes on mine. If he did know, he was at least having enough class not to show it.

"I... dream a lot. Not really dreams. More like... nightmares. Horrible... wake up in the middle of the night several times, kind of nightmares."

Jacob walked over to me as I stood up from the table. "What are they about." He asked.

I felt my throat constrict a bit at his question, as I shook my head."I... can't... remember. Some of them I can." I lied to him, shamefully.

"I'm sorry, Bells. That sounds awful."

It was... Little did he know the depth of them.

"Yea... it is..." My voice went shaky on the last word, giving me away a bit. I cleared my throat and tried to give Jake a small reassuring smile.

"Bells, I can stay if you want me to... Till you fall asleep." He offered with sincerity.

The thought of him being here with me was beyond comforting, and extremely selfish. Another pang of guilt washed over me as I looked up at him, seeing that maybe he wanted to stay just as much as I wanted him to stay. Maybe... it wasn't so selfish.

"Okay." I replied to him, seeing him smile... "But you should call Billy, right?"

"Yea..." He said, as I handed him the phone.

"I'll be... upstairs..." I walked slowly up the stairs to my room, thinking the whole way up about how comforting it would be to have him there with me, and also how wrong it was to use him like that.

I sat down on my bed, looking out the window, seeing the tree's sway back and forth from the wind, casting shadows on my wall. I stared at them long and hard, remembering the last time I had anyone in my room like this. Pain shot through my chest, so much of it, that I swore I felt my actual heart rip into shreds. I gasped, sitting down on the floor by my bed, withdrawing into myself as I pulled my knee's to my chest. Jacob tapped on the door as I forced myself to my feet to open it for him. I needed to pull it together. I took one long, shaky breath, and opened the door for Jacob.

He took one look at me, and deep concern flashed across his face. I turned around, folding my arms across my chest, not wanting him to see me like that.

I felt ashamed as I stared blankly out the window into the night, hearing Jake's foorsteps behind me, until they stopped when he reached me. I stood there, feeling as though I may just lose it right here in front of him. I had been doing this now for far too long. I could put up a good front to everyone else, even fooling Charlie a few times but not with Jacob. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't... I just couldn't.

My head started to spin as I felt the weight of everything come crashing down on me, like a water dam had been released. I placed a shaky hand on my chest, feeling the weight of it there. The heaviness almost being too much for me to bare. Tears ran unabated down my face with no end in sight.

No... I though to myself... No... No... Not now... Not with Jake here. I pleaded with my heart to stop, begging it in my head, to stuff it all back in. But It didn't listen.

Jacob, ever so slowly, placed his warm hands on my shoulders and ran them down my arms. I could hear his breathing, slow and steady. A comfort all in it's own. Unlike mine, which was shaky and uneven.

His hands stayed on my arms as he took one last step to me, pressing his chest to my back. I felt my heart rip again at all I had been through as Jacob slowly wrapped his strong arms around my waist, pulling me back into him. I froze momentarily, my body going rigid with fear of letting this all go. Knowing how much it could hurt.

I felt Jacob lean into me, placing his chin on my shoulder. He gave me a reassuring squeeze in his arms. "It's okay, Bells..." He whispered with his warm words.

I swallowed so hard, fighting it with all of me, feeling like I was choking or being strangled. I knew I shouldn't be fighting it this hard.

"No." I whispered to him, brokenly... "No... No, it's not... It's ... never going to be okay... never..." I broke, feeling my whole body shake at my words. Jacob pressed his cheek to mine as my tears ran down my face. He didn't speak. His arms tightened around me, as I shook in them. Feeling like I was drowning, with no way to get to the surface for air. Jacob pulled me backwards, and sat down on the bed with me in his lap. I tried to fight it again, not him... just the feeling. I tried to pull away from Jacob, but he held me there, not forcefully, never forcefully.

"Bells..." He said, pleading with me as I looked into his eyes... "Don't." He whispered to me. "Please... don't... push me away".

There was so much pleading in his own voice that I stopped fighting almost instantly. I nestled my face into his neck, breathing him in, and let the sobs take me.

He never asked me any questions. He didn't push anything. He just held me. It had been exactly what I had needed. I felt his hand rub up and down soothingly on my back as I cried. Several minutes passed and my tears finally subsided a bit. I kept my face in his neck, not wanting to lose the feel of his warmth or his closeness.

After a few more minutes had passed, I finally lifted my head, looking at Jake, a bit of shame coming to me for falling apart like that.

"I'm sorry..." I said to him, barely able to speak yet. Jacob brought a hand up, wiping away my tears with his fingertips.

"Don't be, Bells. Don't be." He said to me in a soft whisper and a shake of his head. I looked back at him in awe of his understanding. In awe of who he was.

I reluctantly glanced over at the clock, noticing the time...

"You... better get headed, huh..."

Jacob glanced at the clock. "I'm okay... I'll figure it out, Bells... don't worry about it."

I didn't want to get him in any hot water with Billy, and possibly make him think I was a bad influence on his only son.

"But..." I started to protest.

Jacob silenced me with a look. Bella..." He said, raising one eyebrow with the hint of a smile forming on his lips.

I knew I wouldn't win the argument and gladly forfeited, glancing down at Jacob's hand that rested comfortably on my leg, thinking of how at ease I was with him. We sat there together in content silence for a long time before Jacob broke it.

"It's not true, you know?" He said to me, catching me off guard. I wasn't sure what he was referring to.

He saw the question in my eyes, and clarified for me. "What you said before... that you'll never be okay. It's not true, Bells... it's not." His warm hand came up to touch my face. I leaned into his touch as he caressed my cheek lightly with his thumb. I glanced back down, not knowing what to say.

"I won't let that happen." He whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. "I won't."

I heard the determination in his voice, the sound of it forcing my to meet his gaze. I knew with one look that he meant it. Every word. I nodded slowly at him, finding it hard to keep his stare. A warmth starting to grow within me from it.

His eyes were the most deep shade of brown I'd ever seen. They had a unique depth and shade to them. One that sucked you in, leaving you a bit star struck, and speechless. Jacob of course, was entirely oblivious to this and many of his other charms.

"You're... kind of... amazing you know?" The words leaving me before I could stop them.

"Sure. Sure..." He chuckled, looking down into my lap."And... you're kind of awesome... You know...?" He said, making me smile again. "Ah ... there it is..." He touched my cheek with my smile turning quickly into a blush. My cell phone rang on my nightstand, jumping us both. Jacob sighed... "That'll be Dad."

I quickly answered it and heard a welcoming tone on the other end. "Hi, Bella... is my boy with you?" Billy asked, with a laugh, well knowing the answer already.

"Yea... Billy he's right here. He's just heading out now." I replied, glancing over to see Jacob roll his eyes and laugh.

"Okay then. Thank you. Good night, Dear." He said to me warmly.

"Okay. Good night Billy, and uh... thank you."

I quickly ended the call and glanced up at Jake, seeing him stand up and approach me slowly. "You're okay though, right? " He looked at me intensely, like he was checking me over once more before he left.

"Yes... thank you... Jake. For everything."

"Anytime Bells. Day or night, okay?"

I nodded, knowing he was giving me an open invitation to call on him whenever. Which I was more than thankful for. He smiled and winked at me. Making me blush yet again for the tenth time tonight.

He gave me one of his warm hugs before turning to head home. He stopped short before he closed the bedroom door as I turned back around, thinking he had forgotten something.

''Bella..." He started..."Um... I was wondering if you were busy Friday night?"

My heart leapt in my throat at his simple question. Jake's dimpled smile not helping in the least to calm the raging butterflies now coursing heavily through my stomach.

"No... I'm free... why?" I managed to reply.

"Well... I was thinking... if you're not busy... you wanna come to the bonfire with me. It would mean a lot if you came?" He asked me with a small blush creeping up on his handsome face. I couldn't help but smile at him, seeing his bright, dimpled grin in return. His whole face lit up.

I definitely could use a night out, one with less drama then the last outing.

"Yes... Yea, Jake that sounds great. What time do you want me there?"

He flashed me his white smile. "No... I'll come get you." He kindly insisted. "Say around... Seven?"

I nodded, "Okay... should I bring anything?"

"Nope... just yourself please."

"Okay Good night, Jake."

"Night, Bells..." He replied, lingering there for a minute, before smiling at me once more, and closing the door behind him.

I smiled as I heard his Rabbit start, watching him drive away through my window and missing him almost immediately. I soon shut off my lamp and climbed into bed, dreading what awaited me, not wanting to face my nightmare's but knowing full well I had to. I closed my eyes, and reluctantly let sleep take me.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable characters/content belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER THREE**

The usual nightmares came just as they always did, making sleep damn near impossible for me. When early morning came, I grew tired of the constant tossing and turning and eventually gave up, throwing the comforters off me and getting to my feet.

I searched through my closet, pulling out a red sweater, brand new from Renee and Black jeans. I really needed to start wearing some of new clothes Renee had taken the time to send. I at least owed her that much.

I quickly showered, dressed and headed downstairs to get some coffee. There was a knock at the door just as I finished pouring myself a cup. Who the hell could be knocking at six in the morning? Charlie was still asleep...

I kept my coffee in hand, taking a sip as I answered the door. I was surprised to see Jacob there, all smiles and holding a box of donuts.

"Morning, Bells." He said, offering me the box. I was stunned to see him up so early.

"Wow! You're up early, Jake!" I chuckled, feeling a genuine smile spread across my face for him.

"Well dad needed help with some errands this morning. So I figured I'd come see you."

"Thanks, Jake." I smiled up at him, gesturing for him to come in and have a cup of coffee with me.

We shared breakfast together and I was astonished to see Jake wolf down half a dozen donuts himself. Where the hell his appetite came from still remained a mystery to me. His company was more than welcome though.

"Embry keeps asking to come over. I think he like's you a lot... Maybe a little too much." Jake sighed. I couldn't miss the hint of jealousy I heard in his tone, as I stifled a laugh in response.

"Oh... Well I'm definitely not into ... dating... right now."

It was the only explanation I could come up with. The only one that wouldn't cause the hole that had been punched through me to open back up and consume what was left of me.

Jacob's eyes caught mine as I glanced back up, noticing the bit of longing that crossed his features before he finished his coffee. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt for my blunt reply. Thankfully Jacob kept the conversation light with his warm laughter while we finished the rest of breakfast. He chatted to me about a few cars he was fixing up for a friend of Billy's. I couldn't help but think that someday Jake would probably own his own auto body shop. He certainly had the acquired skills to do so with the friendly personality to match.

"Thanks for breakfast, Jake."

"You're more than welcome, Bells." He replied, pulling me into a hug before I slipped on my jacket, already dreading my shift at Newton's and secretly wishing I could spend the day with Jacob. He left soon after and I took off for work.

I worked all day at Newton's. The shift dragged on and on. I was more than ready come 5 p.m. to head on out of there. The rain hadn't let up yet, no surprise there really. I came home to see Charlie sitting at the kitchen table, seeing a worried expression on his face, as I hung up my Jacket on the coat rack by the door. Charlie seemed to be so deep in thought that he barely noticed me when I came home. I sat down at the table, causing him to glance up at me.

"Bella...can we... talk? " He asked. I felt my stomach drop a bit and silently prayed that the conversation would have nothing to do with the Cullen's sudden disappearance.

"Sure, Dad." I reluctantly replied, his eyes meeting mine and still full of worry. My sinking feeling getting worse by the second, as the momentary awkward silence lingered on.

"Are you... seeing Jake." He suddenly asked, without beating around the bush. Although his face plainly showed how uncomfortable he felt even asking such a question, clearing his throat a few more times while awaiting my answer.

"No... Why?" I replied, running a nervous hand through my hair, as he glanced over at me.

"Well, I just talked to Billy, and he had mentioned to me how Jake had been really happy lately, seeming to turn a corner. He mentioned you two spending a lot of time together."

I nodded in agreement, not seeing what the big deal was...

"Bella... Look... honey, you just started to get yourself back together in the last couple of weeks, and that make's me so happy, it really does. Just... I mean, do you think it's a great idea to be starting a new relationship?"

I coughed aloud myself at the word relationship he so flippantly used. "Dad... Jacob and I.. are... just friends. He's become one of my best friends." I felt myself blush now matching my fathers shade of crimson.

"Okay... well... I was gonna say... if you were choosing to start a relationship, I couldn't think of anyone I trusted more than Jacob. I just don't want you to rush it. He's a good guy, Bells, a real good guy. I mean, yes he's young, and he's grown like at least 6 inches over the Summer, he's... grown a lot more than in just height now that I think about it..." Charlie shook his head, pausing before coming back to me."Yea... but anyways... I just wanted to know, is all. Glad we got that all... cleared up." He patted me on the shoulder and got up, kissing me on the top of the head. "I won't be home till the morning. Got to work another shift. You lock the doors before you go to bed, okay?"

I nodded, knowing that my only true threat wouldn't be kept away with a useless deadbolt. She'd just kick it in, and find me... I shuddered, as I thought of Victoria. My dad thankfully didn't seem to notice though, as he went on his way to work, locking the door behind him with his key.

I was in for another long night. Lucky for me, I had a lot of homework that needed to get done. If I was going to be away at the bonfire with Jake tomorrow night, I needed to get this paper done, so it would be ready for Monday's class. I dug out my books and got busy.

A few hours passed before It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to concentrate. My mind kept wandering to Jacob, and what my dad had said... "Relationship" Another burst of pain came to my chest at the reminder of who I had last given myself to. No... Never again. No way.

Love seemed to be the scariest thing in the world to me now. To be so willing to give all of who you are to another, and hope that they don't break you into a million jagged pieces in the end, was something I had been foolish enough to do once. Just the thought of doing that again brought the threat of unshed tears to my eyes.

I thought of how Jake had been there for me last night, having heavy guilt over the fact that I may never be able to truly return his affection. I knew Jacob cared for me. It was evident to see in the way he was with me. He had mentioned a few times, in general conversation, that a couple girls from the school on the reservation had asked him out but that he had politely turned them down. Each time I would ask him why, he would always smile at me and say. "They're just not my type."

I had even gone as far as to ask him one day what exactly his type was. Only for him to smile at me in return, and casually change the subject on me. I remember also feeling a bit of jealousy when he had mentioned the girls. I shook my head, playing with the pen in my hand. Feeling ridicilous. Jacob was free to date whoever the hell he damn well pleased. I certainly had no claim over him. Surely not.

After about two more hours of trying to concentrate on my nearly half written English paper, I gave up, simply tucking it into the crease of my book, and packing them away in my bag. I did a few small chores around the house for Charlie, wanting to keep myself busy and knowing he would be exhausted when he got home in the morning. I spent about an hour cleaning and doing laundry, before I headed to bed. I got changed into my pj's and brushed my teeth, running back downstairs to check the door again. Being sure the two deadbolts were locked properly and knowing I wouldn't sleep anyway. I went back up to my room, and sat down at my work desk with the lamp on and checking my email to see I had one in my inbox from Renee'. She had asked me how I was, and what life had been like lately. I quickly replied to her, telling her all I could tell her, without telling her everything of course. I did mention Jake, and included a picture of us my dad had taken about 6 months ago, laughing in the driveway by my truck. Charlie had snapped it without either of us knowing. I attached the image to her email, and hit the send button. Seeing it checked off as sent in my outbox now. My eyes were heavy with the sleep I needed, but would not get tonight.

The rain started to pour, and the wind howled furiously outside my window as turned off my lamp, leaving just the t.v. on. I laid down, watching a movie and waiting for sleep to come to me. Just as I was about out, everthing in the house shut off. Leaving me in the pitch dark. I sat up, reaching over on my nightstand for my cell phone and using it as a flash light to see. We had lost power... great.

I went downstairs in search for candles and finding only three, but they were brand new so they would burn for a while if needed. I lit the candles, and listened as the screen door banged loudly up against the house. It scared me, causing me to almost drop the candle I was holding. My cell phone rang, startling me again as I glanced down to see it was Charlie and hurriedly answering it.

"Hey, Dad..."

"Hey kiddo. We all lost power here at the station. Everyone says its the storm. Winds are real bad. I guess it knocked out all of La' Push too. Billy, he just called and said Jake was on his way to check on you... just.. wanted you to know he would be ... stopping by." I could tell my dads tone that he was far from comfortable with the idea of me being here alone with Jacob. In the dark no less. I couldn't help but almost laugh, but thought better of it.

"Okay. Well, everything is fine. I lit some candles and luckily did some housework before the storm hit. Did laundry too. So I'll just read with a flashlight till it comes back on."

My dad sighed heavily into the phone." Thanks Bella. You didn't have to do the housework, bit I really appreciate it. "

"It's okay, dad. I don't mind, really." I told him.

"Okay. I will see you in the morning. Call me if you need anything later."

"Okay, love you..."

"Love you, too Kiddo." I heard him say before I ended the call.

I wouldn't admit it to Charlie, but I was a bit relieved to know Jake would be here for a while. The wind blew the trees and they swayed relentlessly, as I watched them from the living room windows. I sat down on the couch, and started to read Withering Heights for the fourth time. For some reason I could read this book ten times and not tire of it.

I was about a chapter in when there was a knock at the door. I knew it was Jake, and got up quickly from the couch to answer it, unlocking the door to see a drenched Jake standing there. "Sorry, Bells... I'm soaked..." He chuckled, lookng down at the now growing puddle at his feet in the entry way.

"It's okay." I said, trying to formulate anything more, as I stood there looking at him. His black T- Shirt clung to him, making the now prominent muscles of his chest and abs stand out. Water ran down his face and neck, coating his already long eyelashes, making them stand out that much more. I was a bit lost for a moment, before I heard Jake speak.

"Bells..." He said, meeting my gaze and seeing me shamelessly ogle at him. A deep blush set into my cheek, as I quickly got a towel, willing my feet to move and wiping all the water up.

"Jake you must be freezing!" I said, holding the soaked towel in my hand. The rain was falling in buckets out there.

"No... I'm okay..." He replied. I looked up at him, and shook my head in disbelief.

"Wait here." I replied, running to Charlie's room and getting one of his black hooded sweatshirts. There was nothing I could do about his jeans... or was there... I suddenly remembered that Jake had left a pair of his jeans here by mistake last week when he changed before dinner. I had told him I would wash them for him. They were covered in grease from working on the bikes. I ran to the dryer, and searched through the large load that had just finished drying before the power went out. They were in there, thankfully all clean and dried. I had planned on returning them to him tomorrow night at the bonfire.

I walked back out into the living room, handing them to him. "Here... I got the grease out of your jeans. They were in the load I washed tonight." I said to him, with a smile. He took them and started to take off his soaked T- Shirt. Stripping it off in one smooth, quick movement and handing it to me. "Thanks, Bells..."

All I could do was nod, words of all form leaving me entirely. I watched him intently as he put the sweatshirt on. It was a size big for Charlie, but Jacob filled it out well. I tossed his soaked shirt in the dryer, and jumped about six feet as I turned around to get his jeans, and collided into Jacob. He chuckled, reaching for me, steadying me back on my feet again.

"Sorry, Bells. Here." He handed his drenched jeans to me, and I added them to the dryer. Hopefully the power would be back on soon, So I could dry them for him before he left. It was the least I could do considering he had come all the way over here just to check on me in the blackout. "Thanks for the clothes."

"You're... welcome." I replied, feeling Jacobs hands still on my arms. Even though he had just been drenched to the bone with the cold rain, he was still so warm. I cleared my throat, feeling the uneasy feeling in my stomach again, as I moved out of his grasp and went into the kitchen. "You... want something to eat or coffee?" I offered.

"Sure, I'll take some coffee. Thanks, Bells."

I poured the coffee, setting it down on the table in front of him and noticing Jake glance out the window at the rain, falling silent for a bit.

"You ... didn't have to come all the way over here"

"I know. I just know how you're not a big fan of being alone at night, especially with no power and all." He replied, meeting my gaze as I blushed again. I couldn't help but stare at him, feeling my blush deepen by the second. Jake was kind enough to pretend he didn't notice the rapid blush now settling into my pale cheeks.

We were soon sitting on the couch together, leaving room enough for another person to fit in between us. I bit my lip, silently contemplating scooting over next to him. The wind caught the screen door again, ripping it violently open, and smashing it against the house with a loud bang. I scrambled over next to Jake in an instant, before I could even debate it any further. He laughed his hearty laugh, and wrappedd an arm around me as I nestled into his side.

"I'm glad you're here." I admitted to him in a low whisper.

"Me too..." He whispered back, with no hint of kidding in his tone. My eyes were heavy with sleep as I laid my head on Jake's shoulder.

"Tired, Bells?" He whispered.

I nodded in response and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep in minutes.

The dark forest was endless. I walked in circles, searching for Edward. But never finding him. Fear gripped me as I saw her. The red head I feared so much... Victoria... She stood suddenly in front of me, and reached her hand out to mine. I ran from her but she caught up with me effortlessly, grabbing me by the hair, and throwing me down to the forest floor. I looked up at her, seeing the red in her hungry eyes. I knew I was dead. She yanked me to my feet, and whispered in my ear..." Since, Dear Edward left you here... And he is no longer your mate. I'll take what means the most to you now, Isabella."

She whirled around and darted into the forest so fast my eyes could not follow. She returned moments later, pulling someone behind her. My eye's struggled to see who it was. Panic ran through me at the possibilities. She stopped, and smiled wickedly, pulling a tall figure in front of her, and pushing them down to their knee's. I felt my heart nearly stop when I saw who she had in her grasp. He looked up at me. His deep brown eyes locking with my own. Jacob... No...

"No!" I screamed, begging her not to kill him. She sank her fangs into Jake's neck as he screamed out in pain. The venom coursing through his very veins in front of me. He screamed out in agony there on the forest floor. "Jacob... No! " I screamed at her again, seeing his pain.

Warmth pulled at me, trying to make me surface out of my own personal hell. I fought it, till I heard his voice.

"Bella... Bells... Bells... wake up... hey..." I felt warmth enclose me, sheltering me from the cold. The bone cold I always felt. My eyes flew open to see Jacob looking down at me with intense worry. I looked up into his eyes, and sat up on the couch, moving away from him. I was ashamed that he had seen me like this. Now he knew how truly screwed up I was.

My breathing came in gasps, as Jacob moved over next to me, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders... "You okay?" He whispered.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. This would surely make him run like hell from the mess that I was. Not that I could blame him if he chose to do so.

"No... No... I'm not." I stood up, walking into the kitchen and away from him with shame. He followed me almost immediately. I leaned my back against the counter, crossing my arms in front of me and choosing to be boldly honest with him.

"You should get going, Jake..." I said softly, not wanting him to leave. But not wanting him to see me like this. It was bad enough that poor Charlie had been subjected to my misery all these weeks, let alone Jacob. It wouldn't be fair.

Jacob shook his head, staying silent for a few seconds, as he walked up to me. He stopped a few inches from my face and leaned in close to me.

"Why do you do that, Bells? You try to push people away... why?"

I swallowed even harder, knowing that he spoke the truth. I closed my eyes, reflecting on the last time I had truly let someone in, look how well that had turned out. I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself. "Cause it's easier. Look... Jake... I'm a mess... Go... it's okay... you'd be better off." I choked on the last word. Hating how weal and small this made me.

I felt his hand touch my arm, turning me to face him. I reluctantly turned and met his gaze. His dark eyes searching my own.

"No..." He whispered to me."You expect that of me... because of what he did... But Bella... I'm not going anywhere."

I didn't care that my stomach churned, or that the right thing to do would be to let him go right now. I wrapped my arms around Jake's neck, and held him close to me. I felt him wrap me in his arms in response and I basked in the safety of them.

"Please... Don't push me away, Bells..." He whispered, tightening his grip on me. My heart ached at his plea. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but there was part of me that was not ready to completely open up to him yet. I was terrified because of what had happened the last time I gave myself to another.

The power suddenly came back on. All the lights turning on at once. I stayed in his warm arms for minutes. Not wanting to let go of his warmth. Jake made me better... so much better...

The phone suddenly ran and I broke our embrace to answer it. It was Charlie just checking in. I told him the power was back on, and that Jake had stayed with me. He seemed okay with it for now. Jake gave me a worried look as I hung up with Charlie.

"I didn't get you in trouble did I?"

"No... it's fine. He knew you were dropping by." I replied.

Technically I was Eighteen, free to do as I please. But this was my father's house, and I respected him and his rules, even if they were overbearing sometime's. It was a small price to pay for how good he had been to me.

"I hate to leave you, but I told my dad I'd be back as soon as the power came on... So..." He sighed to me.

"Okay. Thank you... um... we're still on for tomorrow night though, right?

"Yea. Absolutely! I'll be here at Seven to pick you up."

"Okay." I replied, walking him to the door. He smiled at me, and pulled me into one of his warm hugs.

"I'll see you then, Bells." He said, releasing me and turning to head out to his car.

I watched him drive away, and turned off my porch light, locking the door behind me. I took some time to reset all the clocks in the house, before finally heading to bed.

It seemed like I had barely closed my eyes before I awoke to the familiar sound of my blaring alarm the next morning. I threw the covers over my head with an exasperated moan, wishing the day would simply go on without me. After hitting the snooze repeatedly, I finally forced myself out of bed and got ready for my shift at Newtons. School was on Monday. Back to normal classes after an extended break, because of some repairs the school had been making. Charlie mentioned something about new technology and paint or something like that, anyways.

I left a note for Charlie saying I would be at the bonfire with Jake later, But I'd be home at 5:30 p.m. from my shift, and I'd see him then. I laid it on the kitchen table before I headed to work.

The rain had stopped, leaving everything freezing cold and wet. I thought of Jacob as I drove to work. Being with him made me happy Really Happy and I genuinely enjoyed spending my time with him. There was just something about the way he was with me, the way we were together, that caused a small ray of hope to beam in my shattered heart, telling me that I would be okay. I knew better than to get my hopes up that this could possibly be true, that after weeks of feeling like a half empty shell of a person, life could be so kind as to simply hand me a gem like Jacob.

The shift at Newton's flew by. We were very busy. I barely had time to take a few breaks before the day was over. It was time to go home before I knew it. I was actually excited to go to the bonfire tonight. It would be a nice change for me. And truth be told, I missed Jacob already.

I drove home in a bit of a hurry. I only had an hour before Jake would be over to pick me up. I pulled into my driveway in a rush, jumping out of my truck, up the porch steps, before flying in through the house.

"Where's the fire?" Charlie asked, bringing me up short just as I had graced the first few stairs, heading for my room.

"Sorry dad." I laughed, quickly leaning over the railing and kissing his cheek."Gotta get ready. Jake will be here in an hour!" I heard him chuckle again as I ran the rest of the way up the stairs.

I desperately searched my closet, finding a cream colored sweater I had only worn once since Renee sent it to me. I searched for jeans finding a pair of black ones hanging in the back of my closet with the tags still attached. I shook my head. I really did need to thank Renee more often for all the clothe's she bought me.

I quickly showered and then dressed, staring at my reflection in the mirror debating on whether I should wear some lip gloss, and maybe a bit of mascara. I decided it would be a good idea, and coated my lashes with a few thin coats of mascara accentuating my already long lashes all the more. I applied some lip gloss to my lips and quickly blow dried my hair, noticing it was getting longer these past few months. When I was finished, I looked back in the mirror again, Feeling satisfied at what I saw.

I went back to my room, searching for shoes It was a bonfire so I chose my black sneakers.. I slipped them on and grabbed my jacket, heading back down stairs and glancing at the clock on the stove in the kitchen, seeing I had ten minutes to spare.

Charlie stopped where he was in the kitchen when I walked in. Looking a bit awe struck as he took in my appearance. " Bella... honey... you look... wonderful... beautiful!..." I blushed, and thanked him. It had been a while since I had really been excited to go out. He saw that and smiled at me in return.

"So... you'll be... home later... what time?" He asked me, clearing his throat.

"Um... Probably late... Jake said these go for a while. You know, you could come? Billy will be there." I offered.

Charlie chuckled... "Nah... I'm good here, gonna sleep tonight. Really beat from all the double shifts."

I nodded, seeing how tired he was. "Okay. I'll call you when I leave later."

"Okay honey. Have a good time with Jake." He said with a genuine smile. There was a knock at the front door just then. I looked at Charlie, nervously zipping up my Jacket.

"Love you, dad." I said, heading for the door. I took a deep steadying breath, my hand lingering on the door knob for a moment before opening it to see Jacob standing there all smiles.

"Hey... Bells..." He paused, stopping and looking me over. My blush deepened to a scarlet red as his dark eye's wandered over me. Jacob had on a long sleeve black shirt, and dark denim jeans. He looked... well... handsome as hell would be about the best way to describe him. Butterflies once again swarmed through my stomach, making my head spin a bit, and my breathing become shallow.

"Ready?" I asked, trying to move us along before Charlie could ask us all sorts of questions. Jacob nodded, and we walked to his car. I felt his arm brush up against mine as we headed out. Tingles running down my arm from the feel of it. He opened the door for me like a gentlemen, and I couldn't help but shake my head and smile at him. He quickly got in the drivers side, starting the car and smiling warmly over at me.

"Warm enough?" Jake asked me half way there. I nodded, and reached to turn off the heat at the same time he did. Our hands touching. I pulled my hand back, feeling my overwhelming nerves get the best of me and remembering who held my hand last... No.. I wasn't going to let this night be spoiled by my memories of... him... I shook it off, and went forward determined to be in the present with Jacob, and enjoy this night.

We arrived there soon, parking at first beach, where the bonfire was already well under way. Jacob got out of his car, and walked around opening my door for me.

"Thanks for coming with me, Bells. You look beautiful tonight, by the way." He said shutting my door, as we started to walk toward the beach and about the thirty plus people that were already there.

"Thanks..." I replied, seeing Quil, Embry, and Billy. They all smiled and waved at me. The rest though I didn't recognize.

Jacob kindly introduced me to each of them as we made our way around. I met Sam, a rather tall and large man. He was built much like Jacob but not a muscular, and a bit older. I was struck back in awe by how similar they all were. They could have been easily mistaken for brothers, Sam being the oldest of them.

There was plenty of food, and friendly conversation. Everyone was invited. Jake also introduced me to Seth, Leah, Sue, and Harry Clearwater. I recognized Harry. He had been friends with my dad for a long time now. He and Billy would often meet up with Harry for the games, and for Harry's famous fish fry that Charlie bragged about all the time. I had only seen him a few times Since I had been back to Forks when Charlie would go fishing with him. He was very nice. They all were. Leah was tall, lean, and strikingly beautiful as well. Her long, straight jet black hair fell softly around her shoulders, and down her back. Her lips were full and red, and adorned by a set of beautiful, straight, white teeth. She smiled warmly at me, reaching out to shake my hand. "Hi Bella... I'm Leah." She said, I took her hand in mine, and smiled back at her. I couldn't help but notice there was some sort of awkward tension between her and Sam Uley. I wasn't sure why, but it was evidently there.

There was enough food there to feed an army... literally. Jacob fixed me a small plate, handing it to me with a smile. "Please." He asked me, knowing I probably wouldn't touch it. To my surprise, I was actually hungry. I took it from him.

"For you... okay." I said, smiling a bit in return. He gave me a wink before fixing himself a plate. We sat down together next to Sam, Quil, and Embry on one of the few pieces of driftwood they kept along the beach for such events as these.

It was very comfortable, and for once I felt like I fit in. Unlike when I was with... the Cullen's... I shook off the thought, and settled in comfortably next to Jacob. Billy wheeled over next to me.

"Having a good time, Bella?" He asked, wearing his usual welcoming smile.

"Yes... I'm really glad Jake invited me."

Billy nodded with a smile to Jacob, seeming to see I was genuinely happy to be here tonight.

I ate almost half of my plate, which was better then I had done in a while. I usually only managed to take a few bites, and then would leave the rest untouched. Jacob ate all of his food, and I watched in amazement as Embry and Quil ate four hotdogs, and two hamburgers each. I looked at Embry with a shocked expression.

"What?!" He chuckled... "I'm a growing boy!." I burst out laughing with him and Jacob.

"I'd say..." I managed between bouts of laughter. Quil laughed right along with us, and grabbed yet another hot dog. Shoving most of it in his mouth in a few bites. I couldn't help but laugh still at his expression.

Seth came up behind Jacob suddenly, trying to catch a football that he and Paul were tossing back and forth. Jacob caught it with ease in his left hand, and handed it back to Seth.

"Thanks, Jake!" He said, glancing over at me with a wide smile.

An eldery man, with long hair in a low ponytail, cleared his throat. Silencing everyone in a few short seconds.

"Story Time." Seth whispered, taking a seat on the other side of me. Everyone hushed and looked at The man sitting in the middle by the bonfire. He looked to be about sixty - five years old. He wore the same complection as all the others, a russet colored skin tone. Although I noticed his skin was a shade darker than Jacob's. He looked over to Billy, and then to me. He kept his eyes on me for a few short seconds before returning his gaze to Billy, giving him a small nod. Billy returned the nod, and the elder began to speak.

He told stories of tribal legends. They were very interesting, and I was hooked on them. Fascinated, with as much of an awe struck look on my face as all the others that were there. He spoke of how centuries ago, their ancestors came across the ..."Cold One's..."

My mind immediately went back to the long walk on the beach I had taken many months ago with a younger Jacob. How he had also told me about the stories, when I asked him about the Cullen's. How true it all turned out to be. I glanced down at the white sand beneath my feet feeling a shudder run through me. Jacob moved closer to me, and placed his warm hand on my leg, giving it a small reassuring squeeze. I lifted my head to see his eyes meet mine, silently asking me if I was okay. I nodded to him, and turned my attention back to the stories the elder spoke of with great interest. The stories lasted for over an hour, and when he finished, you could have heard a pin drop. There was no sound, but the waves and the crackling from the fire he sat next to. He gave everyone a big smile, saying. "That's all till next year."

Everyone went back to talking, and eating, like he had just dismissed a big meeting or something.

I stared into the fire. Concentrating on the huge flames that roared up from it. I thought on his every word. The Cold One's. Images of Edward's face flashed clearly in my mind. I closed my eyes, and quickly opened them, trying to forget it all. I didn't want to think about him in fear the pain would come back and crush me.

Everyone scattered off to different places along the beach, leaving me and Jacob there on the piece of driftwood. I couldn't take my eyes from the fire. It was mesmerizing. I remembered all the Elder had said.

Jacob wrapped an arm around my shoulders, breaking me out of my train of thought. I tore my eyes from the fire and glanced up at him, seeing the concern there. "Thank you. For bringing me."

"I wanted you here." He replied.

A football suddenly came flying, landing right next to Jake's feet in the white sand. Paul's loud voice hollered to Jake. "Hey Bro! Come on, play one with us." Jacob picked up the football, looking over at me. I nodded and smiled at him.

"You sure?" He asked, searching my face for a brief second.

"Yea... Go..." I insisted. He nodded in reply, and took of running behind me for the football game. I turned to watch him. He threw the football with great force at Paul, it landed in Paul's large hands perfectly. It was a long throw... way long. I shook my head, as I sat there, watching them. He was incredibly strong. I was smiling so much at him that my cheeks actually hurt. It was a rather odd feeling considering I had not smiled like this in a long time. Whenever I was around Jake, I couldn't seem to keep the smile off my face. It was not lost on me that he brought this out in me.

Leah came over, sitting next to me, watching them play as well, offering me a genuine smile when she sat down. "So... you and Jacob..." She asked innocently, with a slight nod in Jake's direction. I watched him intently as he laughed at Paul cussing, pissed off that Jake's team had scored on them. Jacob's whole face lit up with his laugh. He glanced over my way, his eyes catching mine. I smiled brightly at him, seeing him so happy, before turning my attention to Leah.

"Um... No..." I replied softly, glancing over at her. She really was strikingly beautiful. She nodded, and turned her attention back to the boy's. I looked at her feeling a bit of a panick as a thought came to my mind suddenly, it twisting uneasily in my stomach. Could she be interested in Jake? I knew the answer, of course she could. Anyone could... You'd have to be blind, and a fool not to be. I mean just look at him. There was so much more to him though than just his looks. While I must admit he was strikingly handsome. His sweet personality, and caring nature made him all that much more of a catch. He was... Jacob. My heart picked up in pace, as I looked back at him engrossed in the football game.

"Why..." I asked softly. Unsure if I really wanted to know the answer. "Are... you?"

Leah looked over at me, and burst out laughing. Catching me off guard at her reaction. It clearly had not been the reaction I had braced myself for.

"Me!?... Hahahaha... Me?... No ... No way." She laughed aloud.

I was thoroughly confused by her reaction. She stopped laughing, seeing my look of confusion.

"Oh... Let me clarify. Don't get me wrong, Bella. They're all really good looking, especially Jake. He's... good people... you know... But no. I in no way have anything for him romantically. Besides..." She glanced at me... "He's already way spoken for if you know what I mean?" Her eyes locking with mine. I had to look away, as I felt the weight of her words, and knew exactly what she meant of course. Jacob's laughter came from behind us, and it made my guilt that much worse. I glanced back at him again.

"Can I say something?" She asked. I simply nodded, keeping my eyes on Jacob .

"If you're not... you know... interested then you should really rethink your friendship. Cause as I said before, Bella... Jake's rare, he's good people. Like... restore your faith in the opposite sex and humanity good people. And he's got a good heart. Guys like that are a rare and dying breed..." She suddenly got very quiet, looking down at her hands in her lap... "Just... don't Jerk him around, okay? Anyways... it was really nice to meet you. You're as lovely as Jake says you are. Come hang out again, soon okay?"

I smiled and nodded, watching her walk away. She stopped, and glanced back at the guys, her eyes falling on Sam Uley. He also stopped and looked at her, before shaking his head and returning his attention to the game. There was clearly something there... or at least... there used to be at one time. You could almost feel it whenever they were near each other.

I turned around, looking at the fire and wrapping my arms around my stomach. "Don't Jerk him around." Leah's words in my head, repeating over and over again. Is that what I was doing? A huge wave of guilt came crashing over me as I stared out at the ocean ahead. God... I really was a horrible person if that's what I was doing.

I suddenly felt Jacob come up from behind me, wrapping both arms around my shoulders, and pressing his warm cheek to mine. I gasped, jumping a bit. "What are you thinking about over here, Bells... hmmm?" He asked me. I Thanked my lucky stars that my thoughts were my own.

"Oh..." I chuckled..."Nothing..."

"You ready to head home, honey? " He asked, removing his arms from me, as I turned to face him. The light from the fire lit up his handsome face, taking my breath away and leaving me fumbling for words. I managed a small nod, not oblivious to the fact that he had called me honey. Something about the adoration in his tone when he said it, had certainly caught my attention.

"Okay. Let's go." He reached for my hands, taking them in his and pulling me to my feet from the driftwood.

We walked together back to his car, saying our many goodbye's, and thank you's to everyone. I heard Embry call out after me. "Bella... Don't be a stranger hun!" I smiled at him and waved. Feeling great to have them actually want me back again.

We were almost off the sand and into the paved parking lot when I tripped over a small rock I hadn't noticed in the sand beneath me. Jacob caught me, wrapping his arms around my waist and managing to pull me back a bit before I could fall to the ground.

"I got you." He chuckled.

I shook my head, and laughed at my utter lack of any grace and my obvious two left feet. We continued to laugh for a few more moments before I stopped, glancing down to notice Jacobs arms still around my waist, holding me to him. I bit my bottom lip from the nerves that suddenly surrounded me. I was frustrated with myself. Why was this so damn hard for me? I sighed, leaning my head back against Jacob's chest as the wind blew around us. I could feel his chest pressed into my back, sending a wave of comfort to me, but no matter how hard I tried to calm my nerves, they overwhelmed we still. I reluctantly pulled away from him, feeling him reluctantly release me. We walked the rest of the way to the car, and I thankfully managed not to trip and make an utter fool out of myself anymore. Tonight at least.

Leah's words still fresh on my mind, as we headed for Forks. I stared out the window, feeling my heart break a bit more, if that was even possible, as I thought of what she said. I knew she didn't mean anything by it, she was just looking out for her friend, after all. I couldn't blame her for that.

Jacob seemed to notice my quietness on the ride home. He turned the radio down, and glanced over my way. "You okay?"

"Yea... I had a great time... Thank you, again for bringing me."

"I saw Leah talking to you. She's been through a lot. It's good she opened up to you for a bit." He replied, as we hit the highway.

"What?... what happened?" I asked him.

"She and Sam Uley were practically engaged last year but then... Sam left her for her cousin Emily last Spring. Just like that. It shocked a lot of us. We still don't know what to think of it, really. It tore Leah in half, ripped her whole world apart."

My heart broke for her. I knew all too well what heartache felt like. How torturous it could be. I swallowed hard. "Why.. would he do something like that... that's just... cruel..."

Jacob nodded. "Yea... Sam and I are... not really friends. He and Quil have been chumming around a lot lately. He used to make fun of him and Paul, and Jarod." He laughed but then got suddenly serious again... "Now... he's with them a lot... it's weird."

I could see the worry on Jake's face, and I didn't like it. This really bothered him. Something didn't set well with me as he spoke about it.

"Have you talked to him?" I asked.

Jacob shook his head, keeping his eyes on the road. "No... We've tried, but he avoids us a lot now. He missed some school, like 4 days, then came back stuck to Sam and the rest of their gang like glue. Sam keep's giving me this look... like he's... waiting for me. Watching me or something. Really Starting to freak me out." He stated, worry clear in his voice now.

"What would he want with you, anyway? You should just ignore him, Jake. I'm sure in time he'll find someone else to bother." I stated with an edge to my normally calm tone. I didn't like the nervousness in Jake's voice when he spoke of Sam. Something about the whole thing seemed to rub me the wrong way. The thought of anyone making Jake feel this uncomfortable had me borderline angry. The heat of my anger flaring up in my cheeks a bit before coiling itself down into my stomach.

Jacob looked over at me as he cut the engine now in my driveway. "I try..." He said in a tone just above a whisper, eyes still full of uncertainty as he got out and opened my door for me. I got out to meet him there and shut the car door, seeing his eyes become unreadable in the moment. He leaned against the car, and I took a small step closer to him.

"Jake... you can tell me. You know, if there's anything else going on?"

"I know... I just ... don't know what to think. Quil and I have been best friends since I was like three. And he's... just different now." He sighed heavily, with a shake of his head.

We walked toward my door slowly. My mind trying to process what could possibly be going on with Sam Uley. I felt Jacobs hand reach for mine, taking it in his, and lacing our fingers together. Warmth spread up my arm from the contact, causing an invasion of butterflies, and my cheeks to flush a shade of crimson red. My heart beating rapidly as we reached the steps. I stopped short, looking down at my hand in his, before slowly pulling it away and feeling immediately horrible for doing so.

"What... I can't hold your hand?" He asked me softly.

I swallowed hard, trying to think of what to say without hurting him. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I sat down on my steps, and Jacob sat down next to me. A look of genuine worry crossing his features now. I hated myself for placing it there.

"No of course you can. I just... " I paused, unable to finish as I slowly felt the hole within my chest begin to fester again. The edges of it raw and angry.

I forced myself to meet his gaze and was met with understanding, and not sadness when I did. Relief temporarily flooded through me as Jacob's warm brown eyes met my own.

"It's okay Bells. You did just tell me that you think I'm sort of... beautiful. A guy shouldn't push his luck, right?" He chuckled, the sound heavenly to me. I couldn't contain the small laugh that escaped me at the memory of me saying that to him. Another blush creeping up on my cheeks.

Our laughter soon faded out between us and the silence that lingered became deafening. I felt ridiculous and so foolish for allowing the smallest affectionate gesture from him, send me into a nervous mess. Allowing my old wounds to rear their ugly head and spoil the moment.

"I'm sorry." I admitted, laying my head on his shoulder and feeling like I was being strangled again with my own words.

"Don't be, honey. It's okay."

Jacob fell silent for a bit, causing the knots to grow larger in my stomach and forcing me to eventually lift my head and look up at him.

"It's because of him though right?" He asked in a low tone.

Pain ripped through me like a knife and I simply managed a nod to him in reply. Forcing myself to say something, "Jake... I'm not... I mean I can't... it's just -" I stopped abruptly when I felt his hand reach up and tuck a lock of hair that had blown in my face behind my ear. His eyes meeting mine again.

"Don't worry about it. I understand."

"You do?" I whispered in reply.

Jacob nodded, keeping his eyes on me. "I'll wait... I've got plenty of time for you, Bella." He whispered in a tone that made my heart ache, because I knew I could not return his feelings right now, even if I wanted to.

"I know he hurt you. And I would never do that. I won't ever hurt you, Bella. I promise you."

I felt the tears form in my eyes at his words. I didn't want to push him away. That was the very last thing I wanted to do.

"I believe you..." I breathed to him in reply. The words leaving my mouth before I could think better to stop them.

In my heart I knew he would never hurt me. I knew with one look into his dark brown eyes, that he would never leave me. I knew I could trust him, like I had never trusted anyone before.

The front door flew open behind us, and I quickly moved over a bit from him as Charlie stepped out.

"Hey kids... have a... nice time?" He asked, clearing his throat. It couldn't have been worse timing, or more awkward.

Jacob stood up, and shook my dad's hand. "Thanks Charlie, for letting me take her out. Hope I didn't get her back home too late." He offered with a genuine smile

"No... she's all good. Well... I'll uh... guess... I'll be off to bed, now. See ya in the morning, Bella... And... Goodnight, Jake. Charlie was gone in a second, seeming to be just as uncomfortable as I was with the situation.

Jacob looked down at the ground, staring there intensely. seeming to fixate on something. I worried that what I had said had hurt him, or upset him more than he had let on. My stomach grew uneasy at the thought. I took a small step toward him, as he kept his eyes fixed on the ground. Like he was lost in deep thought.

"Thank you for everything. I really had a good time tonight. " I smiled at him. He slowly glanced back up at me, and he looked... not well. He appeared to be sick suddenly. I was taken back a bit by his sudden change in demeanor. " Jake... " I reached for his arm, touching it slightly. He felt warm. He was always warm, but this was too warm for even him. "I'm sorry if what I said... upset you."

"No... it's okay... look I... uh... Gotta go" He said it in an urgent, distant whisper.

"Are you okay? You feel really warm to me. Do you have a fever or something? The flu is going around. You could come inside for a while if you want?" I asked, slowly releasing his arm, and letting my hand fall.

"No I'm... I don't know, Bella... I'll talk to you... later." He raised his head, eyes meeting mine once more, before he ran to his car and took off in a hurry.

I watched him as he disappeared from my sight. He had left so suddenly, and it was so out of character for Jake. Worry pierced its ugly way through me, as I thought of what I had just said to him. Maybe it was too much. Maybe pulling away like that had hurt him worse than I thought? Maybe he could now see how truly screwed up I was and he was taking off before things got too involved? Then again... that didn't even sound like him. I knew him better than that. Or at least I hoped I did.

Dread started to sink in as I walked into the house and hung up my coat, sitting down on the couch and coming to the sad realization that he had finally seen me for who I really was... selfish and weak. Maybe he really was running from the mess I had become. I sure as hell wouldn't blame him for doing so.

I wrapped my arms around my mid section, feeling more ripping apart pain at the thought. The truth was, I didn't know what I would do without Jacob.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable characters/content are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and review. They all make me smile! Thanks SO much :)**

_**CHAPTER FOUR**_

I laid in bed, listening to the wind howl outside, my mind full with thoughts of Jacob and how he had left so suddenly earlier. More dread sank in upon thinking about him. What had I done?... What Had I done...

My regret loomed over me as I laid back down, curling up into the purple comforter. I closed my eyes, wishing for sleep, but it never came for me that night. Everytime I closed my eyes, I would dream, new dreams this time. I dreamt of Jacob. Every dream would end the same way with him being taken away from me, somehow.

At about 5 a.m. I gave up on getting any sleep, and settled for working on my paper due Monday. The rain poured in buckets, as I stared out the window, losing my train of thought and endlessly fiddling with my ball point pen, wishing that the damn paper would just write itself.

The morning turned into the afternoon, with me still sitting at my computer desk with barely a paragraph written. I angrily ripped up my sloppy sixth rough draft and threw it to the floor, adding it to the small pile I had created there. Normally, I wouldn't have had such a foul disposition toward my studies, but as of right now, I could care less about finishing this paper. I sighed and threw my notebook and pen on my unmade bed, seeing my phone still laying there and taking it in my hands.

I glanced down at the lit up home screen, debating on calling him again. My head telling me to wait but my heart telling me otherwise. Telling my head to go to hell, I decided to send Jake a text message in hopes to hear something from him... anything.

I kept the message short and brief and to the point. Simply asking him if he was okay and to please call me when he got my message.

I grudgingly picked up my notebook and pen, getting back to my paper. I worked diligently on my paper for most of the afternoon and into the evening. Patiently waiting for a reply from Jake, but it never came. By dinner time, I was so distracted that I burned the chicken casserole I had been planning on serving for dinner. Charlie simply laughed it off, and settled on ordering a large pizza. I was fine with that, considering I had next to no appetite.

It wasn't like Jacob to not call or reply to me. He always did. The night went on, and soon it was 8 p.m. I looked at my phone for the twentieth time. Still nothing. No reply to my text, and no missed call from him. Growing a bit desperate, I called him again. This time it went straight to his voicemail..."Hey... you've reached Jake. I'm not in right now. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you..."

I hung up before hearing the beep. The sound of his voice making me miss him more and more. My anxiety grew to a new level as realization struck me hard. I knew he was done. I knew he was through with me. Through with the mess I was. The hot tears ran unabated down my face, knowing I had pushed his away. The very same way he himself had pleaded with me not to do just days ago. I was truly my own worst enemy at this point. I leaned against the kitchen counter for support, feeling the inevitable pain that I had been shielded from for weeks now, catch up with me hastily.

"Bella what's wrong? Everything ok?" I heard Charlie ask from behind me.

I nodded, quickly wiping the tears. "Uh.. yeah dad..I'm fine."

"Sure?

"Yea... I'm sure. Sorry about dinner."

"Oh, don't worry about that. No big deal, honey... really."

"I'll be down in a minute." I told him, so he wouldn't linger any longer, fearing I would lose it in front of him. He would be upset with Jake, and I didn't want that either. This wasn't Jacob's fault . It was mine. Charlie left and thankfully went back into the living room.

I debated on going to see Jake, even though it was late, to tell him how sorry I was in person. I didn't blame him for not taking my calls... Hell... I wouldn't either. I hadn't called the house phone. Maybe something happened to his cell. That would be a pefectly logical explanation. I dialed Billy. He picked up after only three short rings.

"Hello... Black Residence..."

"Hi... Hi Billy... it's Bella... Um.. listen I'm sorry to call , but... I was just wondering if Jake was around?"

Billy paused for a long moment before responding. "He's... not in right now. Can I take a message Bella?"

My heart sank. "No... um... just please tell him I called, I guess... Thanks Billy."

"Sure thing, Bella. " He said, before quickly hanging up. I stared down at my phone, knowing that he was avoiding me.

I walked back downstairs, to at least spend some time with Charlie. He was eating dinner in his recliner, watching another game.

"There's plenty of pizze left for you, kiddo." He offered.

I gave him a weak smile and trudged off to the kitchen to get a slice. I had to pretend for his benefit at least. I sat down on the couch, mindlessly picking the slice of pizza apart, pretending to eat it. Charlie wasn't paying much attention anyway. I dumped the rest of it in the trash quickly and washed my hands off. Charlie brought his plate to the sink, setting it there, and looking at me with suspicion.

"Honey, happen last night? You and Jake seemed to have a good time. Right? "

I swallowed hard before answering, trying to make my voice sound as normal as possible.

"Yea... We did." I said to him, in a whisper, staring down at the sink.

"Then... what's going on? I half expected him to show up for dinner tonight?"

"Yea... he is... um... out... I guess."

I glanced up at Charlie, who saw the expression on my face.

"Out...?" He asked, suspicion plainly evident in his low tone.

"Yea... I called Billy a bit ago, and he said he's not in. Anyways... I'm gonna turn in early okay? I'm... tired."

"Sure honey. Get some rest." He replied, as I walked up the stairs to my room. I could feel myself beginning to slip back into the dark place that I hated. The one that left me in a zombie like state. I threw myself down on my bed and slept through half the night before having a Nightmare so terrifying, I awoke in tears, and screamed so loud this time that Charlie burst through my bedroom door immediately, thinking someone was killing me.

"Bella!" Charlie said to me, urgently trying to get me to wake up. My eyes shot open and saw him standing there in front of me. I clutched the bedspread, and sobbed into it. Because the person I wanted to see when I opened my eyes was Jacob. Not that I wasn't grateful for my dad, because I was. But I wanted Jacob... just Jacob...

I sat up finally, taking a few calming breaths. "I thought ... being around Jake seemed to make things better? I guess not." Charlie sighed, as he touched my cheek.

I had selfishly pushed the only person away who had made me feel better. Who had made me feel safe. I nodded to Charlie in reply, seeing his concern there for me.

"Bella... Sometimes you have to learn to love what's good for you... ya know. To be around those who are best for you." He said softly to me, touching my face once more. I simply nodded, feeling numb all over again, like the small bit of warmth and light that Jacob had started was suddenly ripped out from within me., leaving me empty and hallow again.

I laid back down, not wanting to think anymore and feeling Charlie kiss my forehead. "Go back to sleep, Bella... I love you." He said to me as he left, shutting my door behind him. I laid there for three hours, fighting the urge to get dressed, and go to La Push to see Jake. I had to see him. I got up and finsihed my paper. There was no point in trying to sleep now. I was convinced I would never sleep a full night again in my life.

When the sun started to rise, and peer into my window, I got my clothes and went in to get showered for the day. I made Charlie some breakfast, and sat numbly on the couch, reading withering heights, and checking my phone ever few minutes to see if Jake had called. Still nothing.

The next two weeks continued like this. The same routine each night, haunted by my nightmares of Edward and of Jacob. It was becoming too much, way too much.

Each day I would do the same, get up early, clean the house, take a shower and get ready for the day, cook Charlie breakfast, head off the school, get out of school and head home, Check to see if Jake had called. He never did so I'd Call him and leave a short voicemail, asking him to please call me back when he could. I'd Got to bed, and then repeat it all the next day. Charlie would ask me every few days if I was okay, and why Jake hadn't been around. I usually made up some kind of excuse, saying he was busy with the garage and just out a lot now. I tried to act okay, but I failed a lot and Charlie could see right through my facade.

One night after dinner, I had reached my breaking point. I paced back and forth in front of my bedroom window, looking out into the night, debating on what to do. I called Billy again. He answered on the first ring, almost as if he was waiting by the phone.

"Black residence."

"Hi Billy..." I sighed, hoping beyond all hope he would be there this time. " Is... Jake home?. "

"Bella... Jake is ... sick... he has... mono... I'll tell him you called but he needs his rest, okay?" Billy replied.

Sick?... Jacob was sick? Mono? I knew enough about mono to know it was hard to get rid of, and that it could take weeks, even months to get better.

"Oh... well... Does he... need anything?" I tried asking, hoping I could at least bring him soup. Anything that would warrant me seeing him.

"No, Bella... But thank you, dear. Talk to you... sometime." He politely replied, before ending the phone call.

I set my phone down on the desk, and went back to pacing, running a nervous, shaky hand through my hair for the tenth time. Something wasn't right... I could feel it. Something was really off. But what? I sighed, looking out my window. I knew one thing... I couldn't deal with this much longer. I was on the verge of cracking. I quickly climbed into bed, and went to sleep, only to face more terrifying dreams that night.

It was Saturday, and I had a shift to work at Newtons. When I left the house, I seriously debated on whether to just skip work, call in, tell them I was sick or something, and take the exit to La Push instead. I fought the urge, and went to work anyway. My shift was short, only four hours and I left in a hurry, wanting to get home. I had to figure out what the hell was going on with Jacob. Even if I had hurt him that night, he would never just let me think the worst for two weeks. He would have come to see me, or at least return one of my many phone calls. He would of let me know one way or the other, somehow. He wouldn't leave it like this, He just wouldn't.

Somewhere in the back of my mind though, there was a small voice that seemed to get louder each day. One that told me maybe he was tired of this. Tired of me being the way I was. Tired of putting himself out there for me to kindly reject him all the time.

I drove fast,as fast as my truck could go towards home, only to pull over half way there when I saw the exit to La ' Push staring back at me. It took me a mere minute to decide that I was gonna find out what was happening with Jake. I had to. This had gone on long enough already. I pulled back out onto highway, and took the exit to La' Push. I drove 55 mph the whole way. Breaking the speed limit by 15 m.p.h. through town and pushing my old truck to its limit. Oh well... a speeding ticket was the least of my worries right now. I slowed down when I got to the familiar turn that led to the reservation... to Jake. My stomach was in knots, as I made the turn onto the res, seeing all the familiar houses.

I stopped when I saw someone who resembled Jacob walking in the pouring rain along the side of the road. Was it Jake? My heart lodging itself into my thorat momentarily. No... It couldn't be. I slowly approached, and the closer I got, I realized it wasn't Jake at all. It was Embry...

I pulled up beside him, and rolled my window down. "Embry." I called to him. He stopped and turned around, seeing me behind him. "You need a ride?" I asked. He nodded and ran over, climbing in on the passenger side.

"Thanks, Bella." He said, turning to look at me. He looked so... sad. My heart clenched as I took in his features.. Seeing he seemed to be genuinely upset about something and certainly not the carefree, happy guy I had seen at the bonfire a few weeks ago.

"Embry have you seen Jake?" I asked him, pulling back out onto the dirt road.

He fell quiet for a while before answering me. "No... Have you?" He replied, sounding pissed off.

"No..." I said, blankly to him.

"Wow... well... if he's not even speaking to you, it's worse than I thought."

I slowed down. "What... What is?" I asked him, urgency clear in my voice.

"About two weeks ago, Jake stopped talking to me, all of a sudden. I tried to call him. I was worried, and he never returned my calls. Not one. So three days ago, I find him hanging out with Sam Uley and his gang. Like... they were all the best of friends. He doesn't speak to me anymore." He replied sharply to me.

I felt as though I could be sick, listening to him talk about Jacob. Embry's words causing my worry for Jake to grow ten fold and settle itself in my stomach. Embry was his best friend, one of them anyway. He wouldn't treat him so poorly. Something was very wrong.

"I haven't heard from him in a few weeks, either."

"Who knows what the hell he's into." Embry said, bitterly with acid dripping from his tone. Clearly upset over what was going on with Jake as well.

"What do you think's happened?"

I didn't even want to think of the possibility of Jacob now being in some kind of gang. I shuddered at the mere thought.

"Sure as hell beats me, Bella. He's not even the same anymore. Talk about Jekyll and damn Hyde." Embry clenched his fists and stared out the window. "I live right here." He said, pointing to the nearby Blue house on my left. I slowed down, and pulled over, letting him out.

"Thanks for the ride, Bella... Good Luck." Embry sighed, shutting the truck door and running into his house without another word. I sat there looking ahead, thinking about how close they all had been that day in the garage. What would make everything change so suddenly?

I had a gut feeling on what... or who... had done this. Anger coursed through me as I thought of Sam Uley and his gang. What Jake had said to me about Sam just a few weeks ago, resonating with me now... "It's like he's... waiting for me...really starting to creep me out..." His words coming back to me, echoing in my head, over and over again as I drove further down into the Reservation, and closer to Jake's.

My hands were shaking the closer I got. I didn't know what exactly was going on, but I sure as hell was not leaving until I found out. I didn't care how long I would have to wait. I needed to see Jacob. Needed to know that he was okay. My gut told me he wasn't, and I was rarely wrong about my instincts. I would stay there all night if that's what it took. He'd have to come home sometime. He couldn't avoid me forever.

I soon saw the familiar, normally comforting, little red house with the deck on the front, ahead of me. I looked around, seeing nothing but the rain. No one was here. I slowly pulled in, and cut off the engine as I sat there, listening to the rain pour down on top of my truck. The quiet was defening. Minutes passed, and I pulled out a book from my bag to read. A way to pass the time as I waited for him.

I glanced up every few minutes, still seeing no one. I read through another chapter of Withering Heights, before noticing movement coming from the woods, off to my left. I put my book down and leaned foward, trying to get a better look. The rain continued to pour, making it hard to see. I watched as someone emerged, walking slowly towards the house. My heart raced, and I gasped, my breath catching in my throat when I saw it was Jacob. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I willed my legs to move, slowly pushing my door open, not taking my eyes from him as he walked to the house. He didn't see me, he kept his eyes fixed on the ground beneath him. I took a few steps forward, feeling the cold rain pour down on me. I stared at him, in utter disbelief.

Jacob had cut off all his long, thick, beautiful jet black hair. Leaving a short, choppy cut now in it's place. I walked slowly toward him, still not believing what was right in front of my very eyes. He wore nothing but black cut off shorts, and black sneakers. My eyes trailed over his body, seeing what looked to be a new tattoo on his upper arm. My mouth fell open with another gasp. It had only been two and a half weeks since I'd last seen him, and he looked so different. Despite the change, I forced myself to look at the person he was, seeing he was still Jacob. He would always be Jacob.

I walked quickly toward him, as he approached the house. He stopped, turning back to the woods for a second. Looking in the direction from which he came. I followed his stare, but saw nothing. He turned back around, and trudged toward the house again. It was now or never. I quickly went to him, practically running.

"Jake!" I yelled to him. though he didn't stop.

"Jacob!" I yelled again, this time he stopped dead in his tracks and I knew he had heard me. I stopped behind him, his back to me as the rain poured down on us both.

I couldn't speak. I felt like I was in shock. Jacob slowly turned himself around, and when his eyes met mine, I gasped again. All the light that had been in them just a few short weeks ago was gone. His eyes were void of any of the warmth I loved so much. My heart stopped when he spoke.

"Bella..." He said, in a low almost desperate tone.

"Jake... wh... what's happened to you?" I choked out, looking at him, seeing the huge change in him with my very eyes, and still not believing it.

"Bella... Go away." He replied in a clipped tone

His words were like a punch to the stomach, knocking the very wind out of me for a few moments. "What..." I gasped, looking up at him..."Go away? I whispered in disbelief.

Jacob shook his head, and turned to go. I reached for him..."Jacob, I haven't heard a word from you in weeks! What the hell is going on here... You cut your hair... and got a new tattoo?" I yelled, grabbing his arm, and forcing him to turn back around to face me. He slowly turned back to me and the desperation I saw in his eyes nearly broke me.

"What's happened to you?... Talk to me." I pleaded with him. Frantic myself to fix this. Whatever the hell it was.

"Go home, Bella. Please... just go." Was his only reply.

Anger coursed its way through me again. I thought of Embry's words in the truck just moments ago. "Did Sam Uley get to you, is that what's happening?" I yelled at him.

Jacob took a step closer to me. "No..." He said in an angry tone. "No, Sam did nothing wrong, but if you're hell bent on blaming someone, how about blaming those filthy damn bloodsuckers you love so much - The Cullen's!" He spat to me. Taking a tone with me I had never heard before,

I felt my knee's go weak, and my head spin at his words. They were like a slap in the face. It couldn't be. How could he possibly know about them? No,it wasn't possible. I struggled for the right words as he looked into my eyes.

"I... I ... don't know... what you're talking about." I choked out.

"No Bella, you've been lying to everyone... To Charlie... To Renee... But you can't lie to me, Bella...not anymore."

I felt like I was in another nightmare. That I was gonna wake up soon, in my room with a terrified scream piercing through the walls around me. I stared up at him, feeling so exposed. His dark eyes pierced angrily through my own, seeing right through me. I shook to my very core as the horrifying realization struck me that he now knew every lie I had told. He now knew the truth. Jacob now knew it all.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable characters/content are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you for taking the time to read my little story. I greatly appreciate each review and welcome them all. As always, happy reading! :-)**

**_CHAPTER FIVE_**

**(BPOV)**

I felt as if my whole world had spun off its axis. The reality of the situation came down heavy on me, seeing Jacobs eyes deadly fierce when they met my own. The coldness in them stunned me.

"No... Jake." I began, trying to deny it, trying to somehow protest this.

"Just stop, Please Bella." He said, sharply cutting me off. His head turning away momentarily before meeting my gaze again. "We...We can't be friends anymore... this is over... go home... Just go. Now... Please."

He turned to walk away from me and I felt my heart rip to shreds. In desperation, I reached for his arm again. I had to do something... anything.

"Look... Jake I... I know that I've been confused... and unsure of what we are. I'm sorry. I know I've been ... difficult to understand lately. You can't just end this. I mean... Jake, you're my best friend. You promised... Remember?" I looked up at him, seeing his cold demeanor fade almost instantly at my words.

"I know. I promised I wouldn't hurt you... Not ever and this is me keeping that same promise. Now... go home. Just go." He looked in my eyes once more, before shrugging out of my grasp, and heading for the forest again. I looked ahead to see Sam Uley, Quil, Jarod, and Paul there waiting for him in the distance. My skin crawled and hot anger flooded through me as I watched him run to them, soon disappearing into dense cover of the forest.

I stood there, staring at the place where he'd just been and letting the rain pour on me, soaking me to the bone. After several minutes passed, I turned around, knowing he was gone and walked back to my truck. The pain twisted itself around the walls of my chest and radiated its way down to my stomach. I had to stop when I climbed into the truck, clutching my stomach, and leaning my head onto the steering wheel. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. It didn't make any damn sense. None of it did.

I started the truck, and lifted my head to see Jacob walking back towards me. My heart lept into my throat, seeing him approach. I slowly opened my truck door and got back out, waiting for him to speak. He looked at me, seeming to be torn in half by something.

"I'm sorry Bella. It just has to be this way. It's for the best. I'm... not... good for you. Maybe I used to be... but not anymore." He stated in a low tone, avoiding eye contact with me. I felt utterly numb, as I watched him head into his house without so much as another word. I got back in my truck, shaking my head and feeling the hot tears run down my face against my cold skin.

I drove fast back home, pulling my truck haphazardly in the yard, running up the porch steps and through the front door. I threw off my wet jacket and collapsed down on the floor. Sobs shaking my whole body as I cried. Call me weak, I didn't care. This hurt like hell. Charlie came running to me from the kitchen. He crouched down in front of me, placing his arms on my shoulders.

"Bella... honey... what... what is it? What happened... tell me." He was frantic. I couldn't breathe, let alone speak. I continued to cry as Charlie pulled me into his arms, holding me like he used to when I was a little girl and I had fallen down and scrapped my knee. I stayed there, a heap in his arms on the floor for minuteds on end. I just couldn't understand why this was happening to me... again.

When I finally had enough strength to pick myself up off the floor, I met Charlie's eyes. The look in them, the frantic look in them scaring the hell out of me. "Dad... I'm Sorry." I started, but he soon interjected.

"Bella, don't be sorry... just..." He swallowed hard, and I saw the emotion in his eyes. "Just tell me what happened."

I didn't know what to say. He loved Jacob and Billy was one of his closest friends. So I offered up the only reasonable explanation I could.

"It's... just... Jake...I"

Before I could get another word out, Charlie walked away from me and stormed off into the kitchen. He grabbed the phone and dialed Billy. I ran after him, frantically grabbing the phone away from him. "NO!" I yelled, taking the phone from him and placing it back on the receiver. "Don't call Billy... or Jake... just... let it be... okay." I begged him.

Charlie's eyes were wild. He was clearly very angry. He walked over to the sink, and gripped the side board, staring out the window for a few minutes. He didn't speak for several seconds, each one ticking by agonizingly slow for me. He finally turned back to me.

"I don't know what happened, or what he did, but I'm sure as hell gonna find out and if you don't tell me... I'm going to Billy's myself." He stated firmly, grabbing his jacket from off the kitchen chair, as I hurriedly thought of something to say. I didn't want to say anything but I had to, or he was going to get into it with Billy. I knew Charlie very well, and he rarely ever looked this mad. I knew he would say things he didn't mean out of anger if he went right now, possibly hurting his long friendship with Billy. Billy loved my dad, but he was very protective of Jake as well. As he should be. I took his jacket from him.

"Okay... I'll tell you." I sighed, sitting down at the kitchen table, feeling the tears come again with my words as I spoke.

"Jake... is different... he's... I don't know exactly what's going on, but it's awful!" I stated to him, tears welling up and rolling down my cheeks. Charlie knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his. "He's with Sam Uley and a few others from the reservation. He cut off all his hair, and got a tattoo. He's... just so different, dad. It's like I don't even know him anymore. I tried to go see him today, and that's when I saw how different he had become over that last few weeks. I don't know what it is, but it's definitely not Jacob. I'm scared for him." I sobbed again, throwing my arms around Charlie's neck.

"Okay... Bella... shhh. It's okay, honey. I'll get to the bottom of this. Why don't you go get warm and change? You're gonna catch your death if you don't, honey. You're soaked."

I nodded, and let go of him, heading for the stairs. I took them one at a time, willing my legs to move. I finally reached my room and grabbed a change of clothes, quickly heading to take a hot shower. When I finished, and dressed, I blow dried my hair, holding the dryer close to me and trying to get warm. More tears came to me as I remembered who used to be that warmth for me. I was brushing my hair when I suddenly heard yelling coming from downstairs... Charlie's yelling. I opened the bathroom door and listened closely.

"Billy... What the hell is going on? (Long pause)... No... No... That's bullshit and you know it. He's not sick! ... How do I know that?... Because Bella just came home a wreck from seeing him... Where the hell is he? (Another long pause) He is?... I know he's there... Put him on the phone Billy... Now! No... No you listen... You tell Jacob that I I'll be watching him and Sam Uley, and whoever the hell else I see fit... And You tell them that if I so much as see them toss trash on the wrong side of the road, I'll haul their asses into the station for questioning... Something is going on! ... I'll get to the bottom of this Billy... Mark my word... Yea... You heard me... I know he's your son. Hell, I love him as my own for shit's sake. He's been like a son to me for as long as I can remember!... This doesn't make a bit of sense, Billy... Yes, and Bella's MY daughter, Billy!... Yea... Yea, you tell him... I mean it ... I'm watching them!"

He slammed the phone down, and my heart lodged into my throat. I had never heard Charlie so angry. I quickly went to my room and sat on my bed as I heard Charlie coming up the stairs. I didn't want him to know I was listening.

He knocked and peeked his head in. "You... okay, honey?" He asked.

"Yea... Thanks... I'm sorry for earlier." I said to him.

Charlie sat down next to me, and sighed. heavily. "I don't know what the hell to make of this, Bella... I mean... I've known Jake since he was just little, when you guys made mud pies together in the Summer and would chase each other along the beach. Nothing about this sounds like him."

I nodded in reply, staring blankly ahead at my wall. Charlie's words resonating within me. He was right, this wasn't Jacob. Not the Jacob I had known.

"Well... If it's okay... I'm gonna lay down for a while?" I said softly to him, feeling drained from all this.

"Okay... let me know if you need anything." He replied, offering me a weak smile as He headed out of my room, closing the door behind him. I looked out my window, running over everything that Jake had said. "I'm not good for you. Not anymore."

How could Jacob, warm and loving, be anything but good?

I sighed heavily, placing my head in my hands and pulling my knee's up to my chest. I felt like someone had reached their hand in my chest and ripped out whatever remained of my already shredded, bleeding heart. Leaving me with an even bigger whole punched through me. I laid down, and to my surprise, soon fell asleep. I didn't dream at all. I slept for ten solid hours, awakening later to hear the sound of my phone ringing, over and over again. I sat up, reaching blindly for it and seeing that it was Jacob. Everything in me wanted to answer it. But I shut it off instead. I was so hurt that I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. I just wasn't up for it right now.

I went into the bathroom and pulled myself together, hearing the T.V. on downstairs and knowing Charlie would still be up. I couldn't believe I had slept all day, but I knew how bad I needed it. I walked downstairs to the living room, and stopped dead in my tracks to see Billy in a deep conversation with Charlie. A familiar pain came back to me when Billy's eyes met mine. They were so much like Jacob's. Seeing them now only hurt, cutting me deep. I couldn't look at him anymore. So I walked into the kitchen as my eyes welled up with new tears, getting a bottle of water and patiently waiting for Billy to leave. I heard him wheel himself into the kitchen behind me. "Bella..." He said, a sincerity in his voice that I immediately recognized. I didn't want to turn around and look at him, simply because I had fallen apart enough today but I did anyway, out of respect. This wasn't Billy's fault. I looked at him, folding my arms around myself in an attempt to hold myself together.

"I'm sorry." He said, "Very sorry... Jake's..." He paused looking down at the floor... "He's a mess right now. I wish I could tell you more than that, but I can't." He finished, giving me a nod, and wheeling himself around to head out the front door. I don't know what came over me, but I had to say it. I wanted Jake to know. The words came bursting out from within me before I could stop them.

"I love him." I said, as my tears welled up and spilled over.

Billy stopped where he was, slowly turning himself back to me. I looked in his eyes, seeing in that moment, that he already knew my blunt confession. "You hang in there, Bella. Just... hang in there, dear." He sighed, as Charlie began pushing him out into the damp night and helping him into his ride's vehicle.

"Sorry, Bella." Charlie said in a defeated tone when he came back inside."Honey, I tried, but Billy won't saying anything to me either. Just that he thinks it's a phase."

I rolled my eyes, and wiped away the tears. "Yea... some freaking phase." I said, with sarcasm to Charlie, not meeting his eyes, as I walked back up the stairs and to my room. All I wanted to do was sleep. There was no point in staying awake just so I could feel more misery. My phone rang again, and I glanced over at it, seeing it was Jake for the tenth time. I reached for it, debating on whether to take his call. No... Don't. He said all he had to say. There was no sense in answering his call to hear him say it all again.

I shut the phone off again and laid back down, wanting nothing more than for sleep to take me away from this hell I was living.

The days rolled by, one by one and I went on with life as best I could. I would go to school, and come home to make dinner for charlie. That was about it. I cringed every time Jake called. Which was at least four times a day. I wanted to talk to him, so much it hurt, but I feared it would probably be more of the same. Him telling me things were better this way. I simply didn't want to hear any of that Bullshit. So I used my phone rarely. Keeping it off most of the time. Each time he would call, I found it increasingly difficult not to answer him. Like my heart and my head were fighting with each other, and I had no idea who was winning at this point.

A week had passed since I had seen him outside his house in the pouring rain, and nothing seemed to be getting any easier. I needed to do something... anything. I remembered a time when Jake had seen Sam Uley and Quil, cliff diving when we were driving to test out the bikes. It nearly gave me a heart attack. I thought Sam had pushed Quil off the cliff and into the water below. Jacob had assured me it was harmless cliff diving, and nothing more. He had said it was a total rush... A Rush...

I decided to take the highway to the cliff in La 'Push, desperately needing to hear that angelic voice again. I craved it like never before, after days of nothingness... No Sun... No Jacob, I was in complete darkness, and I urgently needed something to pull me out of it. I drove to the spot where the cliff was, parked the truck, and climbed the small hiking trail that lead to it. I came out of the forest, and was standing on the cliff I had seen that day with Jake. I walked slowly towards the edge, peeking down, seeing the mighty waves slam into the rocks below. The sea was rough because it was windy. I didn't care, I would do whatever it took to hear his voice again, to feel something... anything. I took off my jacket and my shoes and socks, tossing them on the ground next to me. I removed my watch too, and laid it there with the rest of my belongings. I slowly closed my eyes, feeling the wind whip around me, blowing my hair behind me fiercly, as I softly heard the small angelic voice I had been craving, come back to me like a sweet melody.

I took a few steps back and ran full tilt forward, jumping off the rugged cliff. The wind flew up under me. The speed was a thrill. I soon splashed into the water below, feeling the coldness of it, and swam madly for the surface. I came to the top of the water, inhaling deeply, and seeing all the waves around me, smiling for a moment, thinking I had done it, only to turn around and see a massive swell of waves coming at me. I plunged under quickly, holding my breath for as long as I possibly could. The waves knocked into me, one after another, after another. The angry sea seeming to take its wrath of vengeance out on me. Thrashing my body about like a ragdoll helpless to it's rage. I fought hard to resurface and felt my energy begin to squander fast. I knew then that this might be death staring me in the face. My lungs burned with the need of air my body was not receiving. The darkness took me under and I selfishly, willingly succumbed to it.

I soon, suddenly felt a wave of heat run through me, warming me to the bone. I thought maybe this was how death really felt. Warm and not cold like everyone had always thought it had been. The pain in my head, lessened, though my lungs continued to burn with great intensity. I felt like I was being suffocated. My eyes flew open in shock, seeing the grey sky above me. I stared up at it, not moving, not blinking, and feeling a warm hand touch my face .

"Bella... Bells..." The voice called to me. My eyes slowly followed it, landing on the most handsome face... Jacob.

I tried to speak but couldn't. My throat felt like sand had been in it, scrapping raggedly up and down with every breath I took, making the seemingly simple task of breathing become a struggle. I sat up quickly, causing my head to spin, water pouring from my mouth as I coughed up the remnants of the salty sea. Jacob scooped me up, holding me to him. I was so confused. What the hell happened? Why was he here? He carried me over to a piece of driftwood, and sat me down there, crouching in front of me. I looked down into his eyes, seeing they were not the cold eyes I had been met with before. They were Jake's. Warm, caring, fierce, and nurturing... All Jacob. He took my hands in his.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He asked me in a tense tone. I blinked, trying to find an appropriate response and ultimately failing to provide him one for my reckless behavior.

"I... wanted to... see something."

Jacob shook his head. "Come here..." He said scooping me back up, and taking me to my truck. He placed me in the passenger side, and swiftly drove me home.

The ride there was silent. I didn't know what to say. After days and days of ignoring his every call, he still showed up when I needed him the most.

"You didn't have to save me." I whispered, barely loud enough for my own ears to hear.

Jacob hit the brakes on the truck, suddenly slamming them on and pulling over to the side of the road. He looked my way, eye's piercing through me. "I will always save you, Bella. No matter what."

I was beyond confused as I stared back at him, biting my tongue and holding in all I had to say until I couldn't anymore. I shook my head fiercely, feeling angry as the hot tears soon clouded my vision. "Really... Really! Cause a week ago you said we couldn't be friends anymore, Jake!" I yelled in frustration, though my tone was shaky with emotion.

I saw him visibly wince at my words. "Bells... I..."

"No! Don't! Just take me home... please." I turned my face away from him, and stared out my window, watching the tree's blur by as he pulled back out onto the main road and already feeling immense guilt for taking such a harsh tone with him.

Jacob soon pulled into my driveway, and thankfully Charlie wasn't home. I got out, freezing cold, and didn't say a ward to him as I took my keys out of his hands. "Thanks" I quickly muttered to him, hurriedly walking away from him and into the house, before I lost my nerve and did what I really wanted to do... throw my arms around him and tell him how damn much I missed him.

Jacob stayed where he was until I reached the front door. It was then that I heard him as he ran up over the steps, stopping me from going inside. "Bells... Wait... please." The pleading I heard in his voice almost did me in. But I was head strong and still angry as hell from before.

I whirled around, looking him square in the eyes."Go Home Jake!" I said, turning his own words against him now. He visibly winced and reached for me. I pulled away from him, and went in the house, shutting and locking the door behind me. My resolve slipping away from me like sand through ones fingers. I leaned my back against the closed door, feeling my throat grow thick with emotion. I swear I could feel Jacob still on the other side of the door, as I reached my hand up, almost turning the knob to see but thinking better of it. For I knew that if by chance he was still there, I'd never be able to keep this act up.

After a few minutes, I pulled myself together, and went to take a hot shower. Anything to warm up a bit. I threw my wet clothes into the washer, knowing they would need to be washed to get the sand out of them. I didn't need Charlie finding them like this. He would surely ask me some questions. I dressed and dried my hair, picking up any evidence of my little adventure on the cliff... If Charlie knew... I shuddered at the thought and checked my clothes in the washer, shaking all the sand out of them prior to starting the load. When I had finished erasing any and all physical evidence of my rash decision, I went to my room and crawled in bed under the covers, trying to get warm. I laid there thinking of the pain I saw on Jake's face before he left and reaching over for my phone, seeing he had called me again.

I thought of all the times he had been there for me, knowing I at least owed him the chance to explain. Placing my phone back down, I decided I would call him tomorrow upon feeling my eyes get heavy. I fell asleep and awoke to the sound of tapping on my window a few short hours later. It was pitch black in my room when I forced my eyes open. I glanced over at my alarm clock, seeing it was midnight and getting to my feet slowly, feeling a bit of fear as I looked out my window. I reluctantly glanced down to see Jake standing there at the bottom, his eye's meeting mine through the window. They pleaded with me to talk to him and I could no longer deny him that... or anything else for that matter. I turned on my lamp, and went into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and quickly brushing my hair and teeth. I couldn't believe I had slept the afternoon away again.

I quickly tip toed my way down over the stairs, so I wouldn't wake Charlie, who was sound asleep in his room. His loud snoring evident proof of that. I threw on my jacket by the door and took a deep breath before opening it. Jake stood over by my truck, pacing back and forth. His new look, still shocking me a bit. He was still just as handsome as ever, just not what I was used to. I already missed his beautiful long hair, but his face remained to be the one I loved so much. With his now short haircut, I could see more of his handsome features, which was the only small added bonus to whatever the hell he was into with Sam Uley. I shuddered at the thought, and zipped up my Jacket, placing my hands in my pockets and slowly walking toward him. He saw me and stopped pacing instantly. A mix of longing and hurt crossing his features.

"So... I'm here." I whispered to him, not knowing what else to say. I noticed his dark eyes sweep over me once, as if to be sure that I remained in tact. After my ridiculous stunt earlier, who the hell could blame him? His eyes met mine and I felt my heart begin to race. He took three long strides, closing the distance between us. "Look... I'm sorry." He whispered, in a desperate tone. I stepped back from him, feeling his inviting warmth make me want to wrap myself in him, but I needed answers, right now.

I placed a hand on his chest, keeping it there for a few moments, marveling at his warmth. He felt warmer to me somehow. I quickly removed my hand, remembering to keep my nerve.

"For What? Not telling me the truth? What exactly is the truth?" I asked him in a clipped tone of my own.

"I screwed up Bells, I'm sorry." He said, taking another small step toward me. His warmth surrounded me, and he hadn't even touched me yet. I nodded slowly, trying to understand. He reached for me, slowly pulling me to him. I didn't fight him because I truly didn't want to. I wanted him with me. He sighed and held me tight. "I'm sorry." He whispered, warmly into my ear. "Can we talk? Please... Bells?"

I slowly pulled away from him, hearing his voice become shaky on the last word. I felt like someone had stabbed me when I saw his eyes brim with tears. The knife twisted in my stomach when I realized I had hurt him worse than I thought.

I didn't hesitate to hug him. Heavy guilt for my actions washed it way through me now. "Jake... I... I'm sorry... I..."

"No... it's not your fault. I pushed you away. They told me not to come, but I did anyway. I had to see you." He stated, his arms tightening around me.

I was infuriated to think that Sam, and the rest of them, had told him to stay away from me. Clearly against his own wishes. What kind of people do that?

"Okay. Let's talk, but we're gonna have to be quiet... for Charlie." I said glancing up at his bedroom window.

Jacob nodded, and reached for my hand, taking it securely in his and lacing our fingers together. My very heart began to warm at his touch. We both stopped walking, glancing down at our hands together. I gave him half a smile when his eyes met mine, and saw a small smile of his own form in return. I didn't pull my hand away. I didn't want to. I had missed him in a way I could not describe. In a way that shocked even myself as we walked back into the house, silently going to my room. I slowly closed the door behind me as Jake sat down on the bed, running a hand through his newly chopped hair. That would take some real getting used to. But as I stood there, and looked at him in the light of my room, I noticed more of his features and felt the new haircut slowly beginning to grow on me. Butterflies invaded my stomach as his eyes met mine from across the room. I stood nervously over by my window, anxiously awaiting for him to say something.

He glanced up at me, looking to be deep in thought. "Bella... I've alway's been able to tell you everything."

"You can." I said softly. Wanting to know what was going on and desperate to find out.

He sighed heavily, clearly frustrated. "But this... is different... I literally can't tell you."

His eyes pierced mine as he stood up, and I knew he was being honest. I walked over to him, reaching up and running my fingers through his now short hair.

"I hate this... Jake... I hate this... I hate the secrets and being away from you. I hate what they've done to you." .

Jacob reached up, taking my hand in his, and looking down at it. His breath hitched momentarily when he saw my crescent shaped scar from James. He stroked it lightly with his thumb. I pulled my hand away, feeling exposed suddenly and sliding my sleeve down over it.

"I hate this, too. The crazy thing is... you already know." He said urgently to me. I thought hard as to what he could be saying. What he could possibly I ultimately still came up empty.

"Bella, I want to tell you. I really do. But I just can't... I'm bound not to."

His words made me lift my head to meet his gaze instantly. Anger uncurled itself within me as I looked him in the eyes, seeing the truth to his words. Whatever he was into with Sam was seeming to be as dangerous and as serious as I had feared it may be all along.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I love to see them :) I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter. As always, happy reading!**

**_CHAPTER 6_**

**_(BPOV)_**

I was unable to wrap my head around whatever it was he was trying so hard to tell me. I ran a hand through my hair, thinking hard and coming up with nothing again. This was infuriating for me. Jacob glanced wearily at the window and then back to me.

"I better get going, Bells. They'll start wondering where I am."

I lurched myself forward. I didn't want him to go like this. He saw the uncertainty on my face and pulled me to him, wrapping me up in a warm hug. He held me close to him as he whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry for before. I really am, honey. I'll be back when I can." He sighed, releasing me and heading out of my room and out the front door. I was left alone in my room with my many thoughts. To say I was confused was a vast understatement.

I stayed awake for a few more hours, trying to claw over anything I could that might help me make sense of all this. I finally gave up around three in the morning, and went to sleep, where my dreams waited for me. Proving to be more angry with me these days. I dreamt that Edward had come back for me, meeting me in our meadow. His perfection leaving me in awe and at a loss for words when he approached me. He reached for my hand and a sudden blur of Russet color drew my attention to the woods behind him. I strained my eyes to see what it was, walking out around Edward and fearlessly approaching it.

I watched in fascination, as a large russet colored wolf emerged from the tree line there. It's stature strong and sturdy and twice the size it should be. I walked boldly up to it, despite Edwards warning. I felt as if I was being drawn to it, while seeing it's beauty and marveling at it. The rational part of me knew I should be terrified, approaching such a large creature that I knew nothing about, but the closer I got, the more this wolf became oddly familiar to me. His brown eyes meeting mine when I stopped before it, reaching my hand out to lightly brush the fur on it's head. I felt a cool breeze come rushing from behind me and turned to see Edward there, his golden eyes fierce now as they stared at the wolf. The russet colored wolf moved out around me, placing itself beside me, seeming to challenge Edward. A loud hiss came from Edwards parted lips and he raised his hand in defense to it, ready to strike. I screamed at him, moving myself protectively in front of it. "No!"

My shouting was useless. I watched on in horror as the wolf fought with Edward. They circled each other, seeming locked in the fight they were in. I screamed again and tried to stop them, running to meet them there in the clearing and hearing a whine come from the russet wolf before I saw it fall limp to the meadow floor. I dropped down to my knees and felt my heart nearly stop to see the wolfs body morph into that of a man I knew. A man that I loved... Jacob.

I awoke screaming and bolted upright in my bed. My hands shaking and my heart pounding so hard that I could hardly catch my breath. "Wh.. what..." I breathed, trying to understand what I had just dreamt. Charlie came running in through my open bedroom door, panic in his eyes the way it always was when he heard me like this. I waved him off, letting him know I was okay and hurriedly getting to my feet. I grabbed my jacket and pulled on my shoes. I had to see Jacob.

"Bella..." Charlie began, as I went by him and rushed down the stairs. "Bella! Wait a minute! Where in the hell are you going at this hour? It's not even barely dawn yet!"

"I'll be back. I just need to clear my head." I replied, grabbing my keys and running out to my truck. I hit the gas and peeled out of the driveway without looking back. My head was full of that damn dream the whole drive to La'Push. It had been so real. His body laying limp like that in the meadow. I couldn't help but shudder as I remembered.

I pressed my foot down harder on the accelerator and was pulling up in front of Jacob's house on the reservation in no time. I jumped out of my truck, and ran up to the front door, taking a steadying breath as I knocked three times. My heart beating a mile a minute when Billy finally came to open it.

"Bella." He greeted me in a somber tone.

"Is... Jake here?" I asked, breathlessly.

"He's... not in right now. I'm sorry." He replied.

I glanced past Billy toward Jake's room, knowing he was lying and brazenly walked in. I normally would have never been so rude to just barge in like this, but I had no choice. "I'm sorry Billy, but I really need to see him. It's important." I said, as I walked quickly to Jake's room. I grabbed the knob and whipped his bedroom door open. Half expecting to find him in some gang related act when I opened it. This however was not the case at all. He was sound asleep on his bed. I stopped where I was, looking at him closely, and seeing how peaceful he looked in his sleep. All worry and edginess seemed to disappear when he slept and I simply didn't have the heart to wake him.

A loud whistle came from outside's Jacob's window, towards the woods. I looked out to see Sam Uley standing there with Paul, Embry and Quil. They all stood together, at the edge of the woods. Hot anger coursed through me as I stormed out of Jake's room and straight out the front door, walking right past Billy.

"Bella..." He called out after me, wheeling himself toward the door, clearly seeing the pissed off expression I now wore. I was going to find out what the hell was going on here. I wasn't going to wait any longer. This was enough. I didn't care who Sam Uley thought he was. He had clearly done something to Jake. And just the thought of him, or anyone else for that matter, forcing their will on Jake, or making him do something he clearly didn't want to, made me want to set the world on fire. Whatever it was had affected him in a major way, stripping all the light from him that I loved so much. Someone was going to tell me what was going on... Right now.

I walked quickly up to them, my anger growing with each step I took. My anger uncoiling itself within me the closer I got. I marched straight up to Sam, seeing the arrogant stance he took and the sarcastic look he wore on his face. I shoved him. "What the hell is going on here? Huh? Tell me! What did you do to him?" I yelled at him, seeing him barely move an inch at my weak shove. His eyes narrowed angrily at me, only further pissing me off.

"It's not your concern, Bella." He declared arrogantly.

"Not my concern?" I yelled back at him, feeling enraged. I hated what they had done to Jake. "Jake is my concern. Now tell me what you've done to him Sam!"

Paul laughed out loud at Sam's side. "Ha! That's fucking funny coming from the one who used to love the leech!" He mocked me, making a joke of the whole thing. Laughing at what they had done to Jacob. I saw red. His remark and blatant arrogance pushing me too far. Before I could think twice about it, I slapped Paul hard across the face. The slap making a loud sound and shocking even me. I stepped back, seeing Paul's eyes meet mine. His face growing pissed instantly. His whole body started to shake violently, vibrating so much so, that his very shape began to blur in front of me. I looked at him in utter disbelief as fear quickly took hold of me.

"Paul! Paul... calm down!" Sam shouted at him. But he didn't listen. The shaking only got worse. I backed up more, seeing his frame shift shape suddenly. He erupted out of his clothes, shredding them to thin pieces around us. His very body morphing into that of a large wolf right there in front of me. Looking much like the one in my dream, only a different color. I gasped aloud, thinking that I must be dreaming!

The wolf stalked it's way toward me, slowly, baring it's teeth, and swiping it's claws at the ground below. I turned, and ran as fast as I could away from him... Away from the wolf that Paul had become. Jake suddenly came barreling out of his house, hurdling himself over the wheel chair ramp he had built for his father, and landing securely on his feet, on a dead run toward me. "Bella!"

"Jacob run!" I screamed, running toward him and fearing for my very life and Jacob's for that matter. Jake's whole body began to shake violently as he continued to run to me. In the exact same way Paul's just had. He jumped over me, and burst out of his own clothes, shredding them just the way Paul had to his own moments ago. I fell to the ground, quickly spinning back around to see Jacob land securely in front of Paul as a large russet colored wolf. My eyes not believing what they were seeing. The wolf from my dream was real. I shook in shock and pure fear.

Jacob growled loudly at Paul, snarling profusely at him. The sound echoed off the tree's around us, and sent chills through me. He bared his teeth to Paul in warning. as more menacing snarls ripped through him, one after another. He was defending me. Even in this crazy moment, I remembered that he was protecting me - Even Now.

I sat there, on the ground, looking on at them in utter disbelief. This couldn't be real. I shook my head, literally thinking I had either lost my damn mind or was trapped in another nightmare. My heart nearly stopped when I saw Paul charge at Jacob. He came back at Paul. Pushing into him so hard that it knocked Paul into the woods. Teeth showing. Claws ripping. They disappeared into the woods, as they fought more. I was numb... entirely numb.

Jacob. Was. A. Werewolf ...

"Bella.. come on." Sam said, offering me his hand to help me to my feet, before barking out an order to Quil and Jared. "Get her to Emily's."

I willed my feet to move. The shock of what I had just seen still lingering over me while climbing into my truck.

Embry drove me and Quil toward Emily's house. A woman I had never met. I had only heard of her. My mind frantically wandered to Jake. If he was okay? I kept reliving the moment when he erupted into the russet colored wolf from my dream. It was not possible... was it? Was it true? All the horror stories and old legends were really true? All the things that go bump in the night really do exist? A shudder ran through me as we drove through town.

"Can you please take me home?" I asked Embry, who looked nervously over to Quil before replying.

"Well... Sam wants you at Emily's, but I suppose I can ... if you want to?"

I nodded and he pulled over, letting themselves out as I slid myself over into the drivers seat and left without another word. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. Jacob was a wolf. A freaking wolf.

I shook my head, feeling my stomach churn when I pulled over on the side of the road about ten minutes into the drive home. I couldn't catch my breath. One breath... Two breaths... Three breaths... I repeated this to myself over and over, trying to calm my panick. It couldn't be real.

I laid my head on the steering wheel, feeling as though I may be sick. The tears I had been fighting for a while now, welled up and spilled down my face as I sat there on the side of the road. I ran the scene over and over in my head. Me slapping Paul. Paul bursting into a wolf. Jacob running out the front door with incredible speed to get to me, jumping over the railing like nothing and bursting into a wolf himself. How could this be?

My head started to spin again as I recalled everything. I relived it, over and over again, as I sat there for minutes on end. Suddenly, my truck door was opening. I raised my head to see Jacob there."Bells..." He said, climbing into the truck with me, and closing the door. I moved to give him room, and put my face in my hands. Too much... This was all just too much.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to me."I'm sorry Bells." His voice was nothing but soft and sincere.

I wiped away my tears, getting ahold of myself and glancing over to see his eyes meet mine. Seeming to look right into my very soul.

"It's really true? It's true?" I asked him, praying he would somehow tell me it had all been another nightmare.

"Yes, Bella... It's true." He replied in a low tone. His words confirming my worst fear. This all had been real. It wasn't a dream I was going to wake up from eventually. Jacob was now part of the supernatural. Something I had forever swarn off, well at least I thought I had when Edward and the Cullen's all left. It was a world I didn't want to be apart of anymore.

I felt his hand reach for mine, his fingers lace with my own. My eye's trailed to his chest and further down to his chiseled abs that formed a well defined six pack. This all made sense now. The growth and his change. All part of who he was. "You're... really... a wolf? Part of the supernatural now, too?"

Jacob nodded, not taking his deep brown eyes from mine. Fear crept over me then, thinking of the last time someone who wasn't like me was around... Edward... and what had happened... he left. "So you're gonna end up taking off one day, too right?" I asked, unable to hide the brokenness in my tone from him.

"No... No... I would never leave you, Bells. I'm not going anywhere."

"Tell me you've never killed anyone?" I said, the words tasting bitter in my mouth even as I said them.

Jacob shook his head. "No... we only kill one thing."

I looked at him, unable to picture Jake killing anyone. While I knew he would have protected me from any harm, I could never see him ever killing someone. I swallowed hard at the thought as I waited for him to speak again.

"Vampire's..." He whispered. I gasped aloud and took my hand from his, seeing Jacob grow slightly irritated. "Don't worry, we can't touch your beloved Cullen Clan. There's a rule. A treaty in place."

I felt relief, but it was short lived as I thought of Victoria. No...No... I began to panic. "Jake... no you can't." The thought of him getting hurt, or Victoria killing him like in my dream, made me physically ill.

"We're chasing a red head now. We just don't know what she wants." He said, glancing out the window. I started shaking upon hearing this. Jacob turned his attention back to me.

"What... Bells?"

"I know exactly what the red head wants. Me... She want's me." I whispered.

Jacob eyes went black with fury at my confession. "What?" He breathed through clenched teeth. "She wants you?"

I nodded and forced myself to tell him everything. I told him about when James had almost killed me a year ago and explained how Victoria was after me because Edward had killed James. Her one true mate. Jacob glanced down, looking at the crescent scar on my inner wrist and caressing it with his thumb.

"She's after you." He whispered, so low I could barely hear him.

I nodded slowly. "She thinks it's only fair for me to pay for what ... Edward did to James. For killing her mate... a mate for a mate." I looked up, seeing Jacob's expression and silently waiting for the pain to seep into my system from uttering his name. Only the pain never came.

"She'll have to go through me first and I'll kill her." Jake replied, with fierce determination. I didn't doubt his abilities, but I knew all too well of their incredible strength and this made me fear greatly for him.

"Come on." He said, starting the truck."I'll take you home, Bells." He pulled out onto the main road while I stared blankly out the windshield. So much running through my mind, all at once... Too much.

I thought of Victoria, of her fierce red eyes looking at me. The many ways she could kill me and knowing now that she was here. My hands started to shake as I pondered all this. Jacob reached down, taking my hand in his and lacing our fingers together when I glanced over at him, seeing his eyes meet mine. I knew he would try. He would try to protect me, but at what cost? I couldn't let him sacrifice too much more for me. It wasn't fair. It was bad enough he had this life forced upon him because the Cullen's had come to Forks, I couldn't ask anymore of him. I wouldn't.

We reached my house to see Charlie was just getting out of his cruiser. He saw that Jake was driving my truck, and gave me a questioning look. "He's pretty pissed at me, isn't he?" Jake said, staring at him. Charlie walked quickly into the house, shaking his head. Im sure he was confused from seeing me with Jake.

"Well... that's kind of my fault. I thought you were in some kind of cult with Sam. I was worried and I just fell apart after I saw you. Charlie was there and I spillled everything. I'm sorry. I'll talk to him. He'll come around. Don't worry."

"I'm so sorry, Bells. I never wanted to hurt you. It killed me to tell you to leave, that we couldn't be friends anymore. But I couldn't tell you what was going on. That's why I tried so many times to call you. I couldn't stand it. Knowing I'd hurt you. Is it better this way? Now that you know?"

"Yes..." I whispered in reply, turning myself toward him, realizing just how very much I had missed him. In a way I never thought I could. "I missed you." I whispered to him. He lifted his head, his eyes locking on mine and seeming to read my every feeling.

I scooted myself over to him, feeling his warmth surround me while we sat there in the truck, listening to the rain fall. Jacob leaned in, bringing his face closer to mine. My heart started to race when our eyes met again. Jake slowly bringing his face closer to mine. I knew what would happen next. It would all be vey easy and effortless. The same way we always seemed to be when we were together. If I leaned in just a bit, I knew he'd bring his soft lips to mine. My heart raced impossibly fast as we lingered there. Time seemed to stand still for us. My breath caught in my throat when Jacob turned his head to the side, and kissed me softly on the cheek, stopping there while pressing his warm cheek to mine. Warmth spread to my face and down my neck from the contact with him.

"Are we okay?" He whispered in my ear, sending chills directly down my spine at the feel of his warm breath against my skin.

I didn't think I could formulate words, so I simply nodded in reply while lifting my free hand and placing it on his shoulder, before trailing it slowly up his neck and to the side of his face. I pulled back slightly, mere inches between his face and mine. "We're okay. We're always okay."

I saw the warmth I loved so much return to his eyes and knew if I didn't back away now, I would give in and let him kiss me. I could feel the moment growing between us, stirring something up in me that I hadn't felt in a long time. "Bells..." He whispered to me, leaning in further, his lips barely brushing mine.

Just then, my cell phone rang. Causing me to startle and jump back. I shook my head, looking down at the phone and seeing it was Renee. Perfect timing.

"Jake... I'm..." I stammered, trying to find the right words and failing.

"It's okay, Bells. I better get back anyways. Can I see you later?"

"Yea, I hope so."

I looked toward the house, well knowing I had to go in and explain everything to Charlie, who was probably fuming mad right about now. I had a lot of explaining to do. I pulled my hand out of Jake's, feeling his warmth leave me and missing it already.

"I'll see you later." I said softly as he kissed me on the cheek again before we got out walked to my door.

"Sure we're good?" He asked, a genuine nervousness in his tone.

Sensing his worry, I closed the distance between us and took his face in my hands. Jacob's eyes met mine. "Yes... We're more than just good. Now go and I'll see you later." I said, releasing him and lingering there by the front door, watching him smile at me as he ran off into the woods.

I took a deep breath and walked in to see Charlie pacing back and forth in the kitchen. His hands on his hips, still in his uniform.

"So... What? Now your... all fine?" He asked me, clearly still angry. I sat down at the kitchen table and tried to explain.

"Dad... it' was my fault. I jumped to conclusions before and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It's really not at all what I thought."

If charlie knew what it really was, he'd surely have a heart attack right here in the kitchen and I'd have to call him an ambulance. Charlie stopped pacing, looking down at me with disbelief.

"Okay... Fine. But I'm still gonna be watching them. Especially Sam Uley and you can tell Jake that."

I nodded once to him. "Does that mean he can come back here I asked hopefully.

Charlie sighed, plopping himself down into the seat next to me. "Yea I guess. Just promise me you'll take things slow... okay?"

I nodded, feeling a blush form on my cheeks. "Okay... He'll be here... later... for dinner."

"Great... now I've gotta eat crow and call Billy." He replied, getting to his feet storming off into the living room while mumbling to himself. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit and shake my head, as I walked upstairs to my room, throwing myself down on my bed. Had that really all just happened?

I passed the time till Jacob got back by watching the History Channel with Charlie, and making a huge pan of lasagna for dinner. I thought maybe it was a good idea to have Billy come with Jake to dinner. Help repair a bit of the relationship for he and Charlie.

"Dad..." I called to him from the kitchen. He came in a few seconds later, grabbing another soda from the fridge.

"Yea?" He said, looking at me before heading back to watch the rest of the hunting show he had been watching all afternoon.

"You Know... I made a huge pan of lasagna. It's more than enough to feed an extra person... like Billy?" I looked over at him, nodding as I picked up the phone and held it out to him. "Here... Why don't you invite him to come with Jake?"

Charlie shuffled his feet a bit, standing in the entrance of the kitchen stubbornly.

"Mmm... Yea... Yea... okay... sure." He finally agreed, taking the phone from me and dialing Billy. I went back to setting the table, casually listening to him.

"Hey... Billy? Yea... it's Charlie. Listen uh... Bella made some lasagna for dinner tonight and there's plenty for an extra person. So... If you want to come with Jacob later, you know... you're welcome to." There was a long pause before Charlie spoke again."Okay... sure... See you later." Charlie hung up and gave me half a smile."Thanks kiddo." He said, strolling back into the living room. I smiled as I took the lasagna out of the oven. It was good to see Charlie and Billy talking again. It made me happy for my dad. The had been the best of friends for the longest time.

I quickly went back to my room and cleaned up a bit for dinner. I changed my shirt and swapped my jeans, feeling surprisingly ok. Considering all I had seen today and in spite of it all, I was actually in a good mood. I was so happy to have Jake back, that I didn't think anything could ruin that mood. I ran back downstairs and was finishing up the toss salad when I heard a knock at the door. I quickly set the salad on the table and ran past Charlie, who was already headed to get the door.

"Easy Bella, don't fall and hurt yourself." He laughed as I went to the front door and threw it open in a hurry. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Jacob standing there. I was so happy to have things back to normal, well as normal as they could be with him, that I hugged him the moment he was inside.

"Hey Bells." Jake said through his laughter. Clearly getting a kick out of my enthusiasm. I didn't care. All I cared about was that things were back the way they were. Well almost. Wearwolf, or not... he was still Jacob. Every bit as warm and loving as before. Yes, he seemed stronger, but he just held me that much tighter and yet never felt tight enough. "Thank you for coming." I whispered to him, feeling his arms tighten around me in response.

"Of course I came. After not seeing much of you in the last three weeks, you couldn't keep me away. Trust me." He whispered back soflty to me, and I felt him place his chin on my shoulder, nestling his face into my neck. I melted into him. My head spinning at the feel of him this close to me. Being in Jake's arms was unlike anything. It made me forget all my worries, and fears at once. Like being wrapped in this safe, warm, alternate world of our own.

I heard Charlie clear his throat behind us and felt Jacob release me. I blushed and noticed for the first time in a while, Jacob did too. It was beautiful. Just like he was.

Charlie walked up to Jake and I felt a bit of nerves come through me as he approached him. "Jacob I'm... sorry for the misunderstanding." He sighed, extending his hand to Jake, who took it and shook it firmly in his own.

"It's okay, Charlie. I understand." They locked eyes for a brief moment and seemed to be in agreement again. I sighed in relief as Charlie went into the living room, spating to Billy about the Mariners losing streak again. Jacob glanced down at me, his eyes roaming over me once, before he touched my cheek.

"You look beautiful, Bells. You always do."

I was unable to look away from him. His smile almost captivating and causing my blush to only deepen in response.

"Well what do ya say. Let's eat... huh?" Charlie's said, while wheeling Billy back into the kitchen for dinner.

We all sat down together at the table and shared a meal. I even managed to eat some myself, much to jacob's liking of course. We all laughed and enjoyed one another's company. Things felt right again. Like they were back where they belonged. Where they were supposed to be.

I cleared the table once we were all finished and loaded the many dishes into the sink, filling it with water and dish soap. Jacob offered me his helping hand and started washing the dishes with me.

"That went a lot better than I thought." He sighed with relief.

"Yea..." I nodded in agreement. "Things feel... right again."

We finished the dishes and put them away, all while listening to Charlie and Billy carrying on a friendly debate over who would win the game tomorrow in the next room. I just shook my head. Guys and their sports. Though I had to admit, it was really great to see them enjoying each other's company again.

"Are you staying for a while?" I asked him, with genuine hope that he would.

"Yea, as long as you want me to." He replied with a warm smile to me, turning to face me as he moved himself closer. "So... my dad... told me something the other day."

I felt my stomach flood with my nerves. My heart lurching into my throat, upon remembering what I had desperately said to Billy. I looked down at the floor. My nerves getting the better of me and making it hard for me to respond to him. I soon felt Jacob place his hand under my chin, tilting my head up to meet his gaze.

"I love you, too..." He whispered to me, pulling me gently to him. His eyes never leaving mine. The sincerity in them leaving no doubt within me that his words were true. Jacob loved me. He didn't need to tell me with words. I knew just by the way he was with me. How his hand would so absentmindedly find mine now. How he would always place his hand on the small of my back when he'd escort me through the door. How he seemed to understand me and what it was I needed without me having to tell him with words.

Jacob had become the sun to me. His warmth and light, acting as a compass to guide me out of the never ending dark from before. The dark I had feared may always be waiting for me. The profound darkness I had been lost in when Edward had left me. Only now, I was no longer there. No longer did my heart aimlessly wander in hope that one day, I would love and be loved again. My heart had found it's anchor. My heart had found Jacob.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

I was so caught up in the moment that I was completely oblivious to Charlie suddenly entering the kitchen. It's wasn't until I heard his not so subtle throat clearing that I tore my eyes away from Jacob to see him there. A shade of crimson coming to settle on his cheeks when he spoke. "Bella honey, why don't you let me finish cleaning up. I'll wipe down the table and the counters. You... go. Get outta here and enjoy the rest of your evening." He kindly offered to me. I couldn't help but steal a glance over at Jake to see a wide, mischievous grin on his face. The sight of it causing me to smile wide in return and accept Charlie's offer.

"Thanks dad." I replied, quickly hugging him before we headed out to my truck. I didn't know where we were going, but I wanted nothing more than to spend some alone time with Jacob. I was beyond thankful that Charlie had allowed us to slip out together for a while.

"I'll drive, beautiful?" Jake offered with a wink to me.

"Sure." I replied, feeling a blush form on my cheeks from his words, as we headed out of the driveway. "Where are we going?" I asked him, my curiousity getting the best of me after all.

"Where do you wanna go?" He asked me when I scooted over to the middle seat.

"Wherever you want to go. Doesn't matter to me." I replied softly. My head coming to rest on his shoulder while his hand reached for mine.

We drove in content silence for about a half hour. The simplicity of being with him was enough to make me feel at peace in a way I hadn't in days. The seemingly small gesture of his hand in mine, his thumb caressing my hand and the sound of the radio playing low in the background, was the kind of blissful contentment I had been missing so much these days.

The miles passed us casually by, as my mind began to ponder the many events of the past days. My mind seeming to linger on the memory of Jacob running to save me from Paul. I still marveled at how incredibly fast he had been and how terrified I was to see him fight Paul that way. We were soon pulling off onto a familiar road. Jacob parked and I realized we were at the La'Push hiking trails. A place Charlie had only taken me once before when I had been no more than ten years old. It was a long time ago and I hadn't been back here since.

The moon shined brightly over the tops of the tree's. We were the only people there. Majority of those who came here to hike, did so before night fall for obvious reasons. Jacob cut the engine and glanced over at me.

"Do you regret knowing everything now?" He asked me quietly.

"Do you regret me knowing?"

He looked out his window, falling silent for a bit as I nestled into him more. My fear of his answer peaking while waiting for him to say something.

"Sometimes... yea." He whispered. "I wish things were different. Sometimes I fear I'll lose myself in all this."

It pained me greatly to hear him sound this way. So uncertain of himself. I swallowed hard, knowing that his fear was not unfounded for him. I knew there was a chance of this happening, and hated to even think about him losing a part of himself. I took my hand out of his and placed it on his chest, before reaching up to touch his face and turning his head back to me. "Jake..." I whispered. "You won't. I won't let that happen."

He sighed and leaned in, resting his forehead against mine. His eyes closing when he spoke. "How? How do you know that?"

"Because..." I said, closing my own eyes. "I'll remind you how special you are. Everyday Jake... all the time... all the time."

"I was afraid I wouldn't get to you in time. Scared the hell out of me, honey." He breathed.

I nodded, pulling back and seeing his eyes meet mine as he brought his hand up to my face, caressing my cheek. I watched as his dark eyes left mine and wandered down to my lips.

The silence settled around us as Jake leaned in, his lips mere inches from mine. I couldn't bring myself to stop this. I couldn't continue to deny the strong pull there between us. It was magnetic, real, and undeniable. He kissed me tenderly. His full lips moving slowly with my own, causing warmth to spread though my body from his kiss. His lips felt like heaven against my own, leaving my head whirling and my heart hammering. He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching mine. I boldly leaned in and kissed him back, our lips meeting again. I felt his hand move into my hair as I drew myself closer to him, getting utterly lost in the moment with him. He was captivating, and warm and sincere. I soon found myself breathless and pulling away just to breathe.

"I was scared that I might lose you. It scared me." I admitted softly to him.

Jacob shook his head. "That won't happen. I promise."

I laid my head on his shoulder, feeling his hand reach for mine again. "Swear?"

"I swear, Bells."

My heart was still racing wildly from the kiss. My head still spinning a bit and my stomach full of butterflies. Jacob squeezed my hand in his, resting his head on mine. "You're nervous." He whispered to me.

"How ... do you know that?" I asked, a bit shocked.

"I can hear your heartbeat now."

I looked up at him in disbelief, unable to respond right away.

"Like... right now... it's racing, Bells and it's the sweetest sound I've ever heard." He whispered.

I shook my head, feeling like it couldn't be possible, but one look in his eyes told me it was true.

"What else has changed?"

"Well, I have to really be careful not to lose my cool or I'll be out of clothes in a few weeks." He said with a small chuckle.

"That's not so bad." I replied, returning his smile.

"There's... other stuff to worry about. Like losing my cool in front of you. You know Emily? Sam's Fiance?"

I nodded, seeing his forehead crease with worry as he continued. "I know you haven't seen her, but they had an argument one night. Like every couple does and Sam lost it for a split second, and..." Jacob paused, seeming to hesitate. His hand tightening in mine as he glanced away from me and out the window before finishing. "Sam phased in the house when he was too close to Emily. He hurt her because of it. She has scars across her face from it to this day. They're a permanent reminder to Sam each day of what he did. It was an accident. Sam loves Emily more than he loves anyone or anything. He would never hurt her on purpose. He just lost control that one time."

I couldn't help the small gasp that left my mouth in response to hearing this. I hadn't met Emily yet, but I could only imagine what that would be like for Sam. I felt Jake's hand start to leave mine and turned my attention back to him, taking his hand back with my own.

"Hey..." I whispered to him. "You're not Sam. And that's not gonna happen to you."

"I would never forgive myself if I hurt you." He replied with a shake of his head. His eyes wandering down to glance at our hands together.

I gently pulled on his arm, drawing his attention back to me. "What happened with Sam was an accident. You said so yourself and I know you would never hurt me on purpose. I trust you."

I was certain of very little in my life these days. Everything seemed to be what it wasn't at one time. But the one thing I was absolutely certain of, was that Jacob would walk through fire before he'd ever hurt me.

My phone rang, effectively interrupting us. I took the phone out of my pocket to see it was Charlie calling. I sighed upon looking at the radio clock and seeing it was getting pretty late.

"We should head back, Charlie will worry." Jake sighed, starting the truck and heading back to my house. I fell asleep on his shoulder on the way back and awoke to hear his voice.

"Bells... honey? Wake up. You're home."

I forced my eyes open to see us now parked in my driveway behind Charlie's cruiser. "Are you leaving?" I asked him, still half asleep.

"Not if you don't want me to?"

"Please stay?" I whispered, selfishly not wanting him to leave just yet. The last few weeks had been hell without him.

Jacob nodded as I glanced up at him. "Come on. You're beat. You need your rest."

We walked hand in hand back into my house. Charlie was awake, watching a movie in the living room. He got up when he saw us come in. His eyes looking back and forth from Jake and I, observing as he hung up my coat for me.

"Thanks Jake for coming over for dinner, and uh... again I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, son." Charlie said, shaking Jake's hand again.

Son... He called Jake son again, like nothing had ever even happened. I couldn't help the smile on my face. The feeling, similar to that of coming home for the first time after a long extended vacation.

"Um dad? Jake's gonna stay for a bit, okay?"

Charlie cleared his throat, briefly looking over at Jacob and seeming to think upon it for a fleeting moment or two. "Yea... That's fine. Just lock up when you leave okay, son?"

"Sure thing." Jacob replied with a smile.

Charlie hugged me goodnight and went upstairs, leaving Jake and I alone. I walked into the kitchen, leaning up against the counter for support and feeling dead on my feet. Jacob followed me in, seeing how tired I was. It was not lost on me that Victoria was still out there, hunting me. And now Jacob was what stood between the two of us. I couldn't help but shudder at the thought. My dream from before now plaguing my current thoughts.

Jacob took note of my silence as he approached me, gently pulling me into his arms. "What is it?"

"She's out there. Waiting and watching." I replied,

I felt his arms tighten around me. "She won't hurt you. We have this place surrounded. She can't touch you or Charlie."

I nodded to him, but felt no comfort knowing they all would be putting themselves in danger for me.

Jacob took my hand and lead me to the couch where he sat and motioned for me to join him. I didn't hesitate to curl up next to him. His warmth wrapping me up. I was so content in just being with him, that I was selfishly wishing he could stay all night. Thought I knew how unrealistic this wish was.

We were watching the late night news when I could no longer keep my eyes open. The weight of the days events wearing heavily on my body and making it hard not to succumb to my exhaustion. I was almost asleep when I heard Jake speak.

"Hey Bells?"

"Yea?" I whispered in reply.

"So all this doesn't change us? It doesn't bother you? Me being what I am now?"

I used my last bit of energy to move myself closer to him. Placing my head just under his chin and resting my hand on his chest. "I love you Jacob. In any form. No matter what you are."

I felt him sigh in relief and place a kiss on the top of my head. "I love you too, Bella."

I closed my eyes again, feeling my exhaustion win the battle I had been fighting.

I was surprised when I awoke in my bed the next morning, looking around and seeing I was by myself. Jacob must have carried me upstairs. I noticed I was still dressed in my outfit from the night before. I sat there in bed, thinking of the kiss we had shared, and feeling an immediate blush form on my cheeks. The way he had kissed me. Taking his time. It had all come very natural, just the way I thought it would.

I got up and glanced out my window, seeing Charlie had already left for his shift at the station. What time was it? I was stunned to see it was already ten in the morning. Even more shocking was when I realized I had slept through the whole night. No dreams. Not a single one.

I jumped when I heard my phone ring, running to get it. It was jacob. A smile spread to my face the moment I saw his name appear on the lit screen.

"Hello?" I answered quickly.

"Morning, Bells. How did you sleep?"

"Really good actually. Did you put me to bed last night?"

"Yea. I carried you up. You were so tired. I didn't have the heart to wake you."

"No...it's fine.. Thank you... for staying."

"No problem, Bells. It was... really nice." Jacob replied, sincerity clear in his tone.

"Well... what are you up to today?" I asked him.

"I have to run patrol with Sam till tonight, but I was hoping you'd have dinner with me tonight? Just the two of us?"

I ran a nervous hand through my hair, thinking of our kiss again. "That sounds great. Yea... sure... what time?"

"Um... six okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you later then. Do you want me to meet you or?"

"No honey, I'll come pick you up. Talk to you, soon, Bells."

"Okay. Till then. See you later." I replied, before ending the call and feeling a bit nervous.

He had asked me to dinner. Just the two of us. This was a date. I was having a date with Jacob tonight. I shook my head, feeling absolutely ridiculous for the grin on my face and the abundance of nerves in my stomach from something that was hours away. Maybe I was over thinking this? After all, we had eaten together alone before here at the house and it had meant nothing. I dismissed my obsessive thoughts and inner doubts for now and decided to spend the rest of the day buried in one of my favorite novels. This was the easiest way for me to pass the time and to not obsess over what tonight's dinner meant or in fact did not mean with Jacob.

The hours passed by and before I knew it the clock on the wall read nearly five in the afternoon. I practically jumped up off the couch and ran upstairs to my room to find something to wear. I frantically searched through my closet, taking out every newer piece of clothing I owned and throwing them on the bed when I found something wrong with them. I was pacing back and forth in front of my bedroom window, my nerves trying to get the best of me. I took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of my bed, placing my head in my hands while trying to collect myself. I knew that my nerves only verified what I had deep down suspected all along, that this was real to me. That Jacob did indeed mean something to me. Something far more than just my best friend and something I had been suspecting now for weeks.

After many minutes of what seemed to be the never ending closet raid, I finally settled for a white button up blouse. Pairing it with a black cropped sweater and my favorite pair of black skinny jeans. I coated my lashes, put a few loose curls in my hair, and even added some blush to my cheeks. Not that I really needed it. Jake seemed to bring that out all on his own, without the need for makeup. I was sure by the end of the night, I wouldn't need it to color my cheeks.

There was a knock on the door downstairs and I felt my stomach flip, as I quickly checked my reflection once more before running down to answer it. Jacob stood there dressed in dark denim jeans and a grey button up dress shirt. Topped with his dark brown leather jacket. He looked so handsome, that I forgot how to formulate my own damn words for a few moments. His smile lit up his face when he spoke and it took my breath away.

"You look amazing, Bells." He said, while wrapping me up in one of his hugs I loved so much. His scent surrounded me, some of it was surely cologne, but majority of it was just his warm, woodsy natural pine scent. The kind that was intoxicating and you only wished you could bottle it somehow.

"Thank you. So do you." I replied, finally remembering how the hell to speak. I soon remembered he could tell just how nervous I was now. He could hear my heartbeat,

I took a shaky breath, trying to calm myself. The hug between us lingering on when Jacob tightened his arms around me."So..." He said, placing his face in the groove of my neck. His lips brushing there when he spoke and his warm breath sending chills down to my toes from the feel of it. "Can we call this a date, honey?"

"I hoped we would..." I softly admitted, feeling him release me and meet my gaze. His face mere inches from mine.

"Okay... Ready?" He asked, grabbing my jacket from the coat rack by the front door and holding it out for me to slip into. His fingertip brushing my neck when he moved my hair out of the way. The fact that Jacob was sweet, with one of the biggest hearts I knew, only added to his charm and appeal. He was just about as damn near perfect as they cam

"So where are you taking me?" I asked him, once we were on the road.

He took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers while his thumb absentmindedly caressed the top of my hand. The small, sweet gesture, stirring up something in me, each time he did it. Something I was sure had died when Edward left.

"Port Angeles. We have reservations." He said to me with a beaming smile. It warmed my heart to see him so happy and to think I had a part in that.

"Reservations?" I replied, unable to hide the shocked tone from my voice. "Jacob... you .. didn't have to -"

"I know, but I wanted to." He interjected, lifting my hand to his mouth where he placed a chaste kiss.

The smile he still wore on his face was captivating and equally infectious. His dimples showing evidently. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

We arrived a short time later at the restaurant. The Brio Tuscan Grille was the name. It was a place that had opened up about a year ago and somewhere I had never been until now. I had heard it was nice and a bit pricey according to some of the men Charlie worked with, who had ventured out to take their wives here. The place was packed. My stomach was in knots as we walked through the front door, seeing this was the classiest place I had ever been to. Especially for Forks. It certainly lived up to it's fancy name. An older, sophisticated woman with brown hair, greeted us at the door. She took our name and then lead us to our table. Luckily we were seated in a room with less people, and no doubt a more expensive section to be placed in. I was in awe, as Jacob pulled out my chair for me, thanking the hostess when she left. The table was adorned by a red table cloth and in the center was a small lit candle, giving it a subtle romantic feel. I couldn't help the surprised expression I wore as I looked over at Jacob.

"What?" He asked with a warm grin.

I shook my head, glancing around the room and seeing the artwork that lined the walls. "Jake this... is really nice." I said, biting my lower lip. He reached across the table and took my hand.

"You're worth every bit of it. So order whatever you want, honey. "

I blushed and nodded, looking through the menu. Nothing on it was under $20.00. And that was for a small appettizer! The prices were high. Even a small salad was pricey.

Despite my protest in price, Jacob insisted I ordered what I wanted and that was the steak dinner. He ordered the same. The waitress kindly took our menu's from us when we had finished placing our order. She was a tall blonde, with big blue eyes. I couldn't help but notice her stare at Jacob as she poured us more water. I stiffled a giggle when I saw Jake just roll his eyes as she left. I glanced over to see her watching him from a distance, and talking to her fellow employee's. They all scattered when they saw me watching them, giggling in the process. I looked back over to Jacob, who was entirely oblivious to the major distraction he was for them at work. He really had no clue what charm he possesed. Sure, he would make a crack every once in a while about his good looks in a light teasing manor. But he was never overly confident, or cocky. He was funny and genuine. Most of the time not giving himself enough credit where it was due.

I felt Jake caress my hand with his thumb, effectively steering me away from my previous thoughts. I turned my attention back to him. "Thank you, Jake. This is realy nice."

"I wanted to take you out to somewhere special, and I heard a lot about this place. They were just finishing up the last few parts of the renovation when Rachel had gone to college last year. She told us about it, said it was really classy."

I smiled brightly at him, feeling a bit like I was on cloud nine for the time being. The waitress came over a few short minutes later with our food.

It was delicious and we really enjoyed our meals. We had great conversation as well. Jake filled me in on some of the packs legends and some of the responibility he now faced with this new development in his life. I felt bad for him in some aspects. It seemed to be a lot on his shoulders.

When we were finished, Jacob asked if I wanted dessert. We settled on splitting a piece of cheesecake, cause truth be told. I was stuffed. The waitress kindly came over,and handed Jake the bill. I bit my bottom lip nervously when I saw him reach for his wallet. My mind already trying to calculate what we had ordered, in hope he would at least let me split the bill with him, or pay him back somehow. But Jacob wouldn't hear of it. So I smiled at him, said thank you, and dropped the issue, knowing I would get nowhere.

Jake paid for the Bill, and we headed out of the Restraunt. The vallet brought his car around, and Jake thanked him, opening my door for me.

The drive home was quiet, but nice. My hand was securely in Jacob's the whole way. The realization that this had been an official first date with him weighed heavily on my mind as we headed back home. I felt the unwanted pain come back at the thought of what Edward would think. But I shook it off. No... I was determined not to allow this to ruin the remainder of the evening. Tonight wasn't about him. It wasn't about the past and the pain that laid there with it. It was about Jake. About what was happening between us.

I glanced out the window at the road ahead, feeling his warm hand in mine and thinking back to our time in his garage, fixing up the bikes. We had come a long way in a short time. I glanced over at him, seeing his handsome face. Whether he knew it or not, he was beautiful. I was lucky to be in his company. Fortunuate he had chosen to take me out when just about any other girl, or woman for that matter, would have given anything to have a date with him.

We were soon crossing the town line back into Forks. My eyes landing on the sign when we drove by. The night threatening to come to an end as we pulled into the driveway. Jacob released my hand and cut the engine. I felt the many butterflies return to my stomach when he glanced over at me.

"Thank you, for coming out with me tonight."

"Thank you for taking me. I had a really nice time." I replied, watching him get out and retreat to my side of the car to open the door for me.

Each step we took toward my front door brought a sense of dread with it. The truth was, I didn't want the night to end yet and was silently scrambling for ways to ask him to stay without sounding forward. We reached the steps, taking them slowly one at a time. I was genuinely nervous, feeling my heart begin to pound as we stood there.

Charlie wasn't home and He wouldn't be till the morning. I dreaded the night, fearing my nightmares may come back with a vengeance for giving me a few days without them lately.

Jacob took a step toward me, closing the distance between us. "So... I guess this is goodnight."

I nodded, briefly looking down at the ground before meeting his gaze. "Thank you for everything." I whispered in reply, as he moved in closer to me, softly kissing my cheek, and lingering there. I felt a small shudder run through me, as his lips touched my skin. Jacob pulled me closer to him, his eyes searching mine. I pushed past the nerves coursing through my system and brought my lips to his, marveling at the feel of him so close to me like this. It was as if time stood still in this moment and my heart was beating so fast I was sure it would burst. I pulled back, reluctantly breaking our kiss and immediately regretting it. I lingered there, our lips a breath away from each others.

"Thank you." I whispered again, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

"You're welcome, Bells. You gonna be okay here by yourself?"

"Yea... I should be." I replied, feeling the doubt cloud over me even as the words left my mouth.

"Sam and Paul and I are on run tonight. So I'll be right outside... watching. Sleep well okay. You're safe. I promise you, Bells."

I nodded, finding comfort in his reassuring words and kissing him again before I moved away from him and slipped inside. "Goodnight Jake."

"Goodnight, Bells." He replied, with a smile to me.

I shut the door and locked it behind me. The smile on my face feeling permanent as I took a few steps to the couch, sitting down there. What Jacob had done for me tonight, I would never forget... ever


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

I tried to get some rest but my mind refused to let me sleep. I was on a high from my evening with Jacob and it was difficult to not think of him or the kiss we shared at my front door. I couldn't help but wonder where exactly he was out there in the woods. I closed my eyes and hoped that wherever he was, that he was safe.

I fell asleep thinking of him. A peacefulness within me that I had not felt for a long time. My peace was short lived as my sleep became haunted with the vengeance from my looming nightmares. It was inevitable that they would return for me eventually and it seemed that my time of blissful sleep had run out.

I was once again in the dark forest. Freezing cold and afraid. A loud noise came from behind me, jumping me. I spun around, and stood frozen with fear as my eyes came to rest on Victoria's crimson red gaze. Her red hair like fire, blowing in the wind behind her. Suddenly, a large russet colored wolf... Jacob... Came running out of the forest, charging at her. Victoria spun around and flipped, in one fluid movement, over the top of him. She landed gracefully on her her feet and grabbed Jacob from behind, wrapping her powerful vice like arms around him and squeezing. I heard the horrifying sound of his bones crushing, and watched as Jacob fell to the ground, whining in severe pain. I screamed as he laid there. His wolf form now still and unmoving. My scream pierced the night, echoing through the trees that surrounded us.

"Now you will know what it feels like to live without the one you love." Victoria hissed at me, before sinking her razor sharp fangs into my neck. I screamed again, feeling my very veins burn like fire from the venom that now coursed through my system.

My eyes flew open at the sound of my own scream echoing off the walls in my room. I had my purple comforter clutched in a death grip, as my screaming continued. I burried my face in my pillow and the tears started. The dream had been so very real. The thought of Victoria killing Jake was enough to cause my head to pound and pain to rip through me, feeling like razors were cutting me up from the inside out. I gasped, clutching my stomach, feeling like I couldn't breathe as I struggled to sit up, trying to focus on just breathing in and out.

My mind played the image of Victoria crushing Jacob over and over again, making my stomach churn and my tears spill one by one down my face. I was half expecting Charlie to come bursting through my door but then remembered that he was working the night shift at the station. I put my head in my hands, feeling so damn fed up with this. I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being caught up in this vicious cycle.

I suddenly heard a noise come from my bedroom window and snapped my head up, barely able to see the hand in front of my face, as I reached over to turn my lamp on. My heart beginning to pound like a jack hammer with fear as I thought of Victoria being out there. My fear soon vanished when I saw Jake climb in through my half opened window. He crossed the room and reached for me, pulling me to him before my mind could even fully process what was happening.

"Bells..." He said, wrapping me securely in his arms. His warmth enfolding me and becoming like a shield for me. To protect me from all this. I melted into his embrace as the tears streamed down my face.

"How did you?" I started to ask.

"I heard you screaming." He replied.

I slowly opened my eyes, lifting my head to look at him. It was then that I realized he was dressed in only his cut offs. He was shirtless. The heat radiating off of him and spreading to me from his touch. I looked down at his chest, placing my hand there and feeling the heat again when I trailed my fingertips up to his neck. I felt Jacob shudder slightly underneath my hand. I stopped and glanced up at him, seeing his eyes meet my own.

"You've always been warm. It's part of who you are, but now..." I paused, bringing my hand back to his chest and marveling at the heat. It was amazing. I looked up at him, feeling him shudder once more beneath my palm.

"It's part of who I am now. A wolf thing." He whispered to me. I shook my head in protest.

"Maybe so. But I think it's more of a you thing. Just who you are Jake."

I removed my hand from his chest and wiped away any remaining tracks of my tears.

"Are you okay?" Jacob whispered, his eyes searching mine for the truth. I didn't respond for I would surely lie and he would know. He always knew... everything.

"Tell me what you need." He said softly to me. His tone full of concern and longing.

I found myself floundering for words to answer him. What did I need? I had a hard time answering that question myself these days, but standing here with him made me believe that I had found the answer that that question now. Jacob had become like a magnetic force that I couldn't go against. The feeling itself terrified me. It shook me to my core to think I could feel that strongly about anyone other than Edward. There had been a time, not so long ago, that I feared no one would ever be able to mean that much to me. I was proven wrong with the evidence of my misguided thoughts now standing in front of me. His mere closeness becoming a comfort for me.

I knew what I felt for Jacob was more than just friendship. What we shared ran deeper, much deeper, and that scared the hell out of me even more. I feared I couldn't do this again. Get so attached to one person. To become so wrapped up in one single individual, and place your already mangled heart in their hands with trust they wouldn't further destroy it.

I slowly pulled back away from him, feeling sick to my stomach as I turned and stared out my window into the night. I couldn't risk that kind of hurt twice. I wasn't so blind not to have learned my lesson the first time. How can you give yourself so completely to another and hope they don't one day decide to shatter you? It surely was risky business to fall in love with your best friend. A part of me unable to deny that this risk may be worth taking.

I felt Jacob come up from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waste and pulling me back into him. His bare chest now pressed into my back. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard, silently fighting with myself to just let go. To stop fighting this so damn hard. There was something here. Right in front of me. Anyone whould be so lucky to have Jake's affection, to be called his own. And I would be lying to myself if a part of me didn't want that person to be me. I knew all I had to do was give in, and he would do the rest. It would all come so very simple. So very easy.

My heart raced and I knew he could hear it, because his arms tightened around me, pressing me even tighter to him. Yet somehow, it was never close enough with Jake. I could get lost in him without even trying. I had a bond with him I could not explain. He was so in tune with me. With my every thought or worry. It astonished me to think he understood me so well.

I leaned my head back into him, feeling Jacob rest his chin on my shoulder while turning his head slightly and pressing his warm cheek to mine.

"Bells." He whispered my name in that adoring way. The way that made me question how real what I had shared with Edward ever was, because even though that was intense, what Jacob and I shared was all consuming. Like without the other we didn't work right. Almost as if he completed me.

I closed my eyes, feeling the fear run through me at my realization, though I had known this for a while now. Jacob and I were entwined somehow. We were linked to each other and what we had ran bone deep. I knew with certainty it could not be broken.

"You know I would do anything for you, right?" I heard him whisper when I opened my eyes. I nodded to him. His words resonating with me as I turned in his arms to face him.

"Jake..." I whispered, trying to find the courage to tell him what I was feeling. I had so much I wanted to say, but was scared out of my mind to do so. I wasn't ready yet, and the last thing I wanted to do was screw this up somehow. I needed some time. "Thank you... For coming."

A loud whistle came from outside. Jacob tensed as he glanced at the window. "Bells... I."

"I know. You gotta go. It's okay." I said, taking a deep breath and noticing the uncertain look he wore, "I'm okay. Really Jake. Go."

His look still seemed uncertain and I knew he was feeling guilty for leaving me. I hugged him and placed a kiss on his cheek when he released me, trying to ease some of his guilt. I watched him head toward my window, pausing briefly there and glancing back to me.

"You sure?"

I nodded, reassuringly to him "Yea. Hurry before you get Sam angry."

"Okay..." He sighed before jumping down out the window. The sight of it nearly giving me a heart attack. I scrambled over to the window just in time to see him land securely on his feet below. He took off running back into the woods. My eyes following him until he slipped into the shadows of the night. I closed my window, taking a few steps back as the cold air invaded my body causing a shiver to run through me from the absence of him. Jacob wasn't just warm. He was like the sun hitting your skin for the first time in the Spring. Making you want to bask in it for as long as you could. I hurriedly climbed back under the covers and managed to catch a few more hours of uninterrupted sleep, thankful for each one of them.

The daylight poured into my room as I got up and made my bed, quickly gathering my clothes for the day and running into the bathroom. I had less than an hour to get ready and get to school. I needed to hurry. The clock was ticking as I grabbed my school bag and jacket, quickly running down the stairs and somehow managing not to fall on my face along the way. I kissed Charlie and told him I would see him later, before I dashed out the front door and headed for my truck. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Jake leaning up against his bike in my front yard. I was so distracted by him, that I nearly dropped my school books onto the wet ground.

"Morning Beautiful." He said, striding over to me with a helmet in his hands.

"H- Hi...Hi." I choked out when he reached me. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, a blush forming there almost immediately.

Charlie came out the front door then. Still holding his morning cup of coffee. "Jake... Be safe with her. Please?"

"Always." He said with genuine sincerity.

Charlie nodded back with a wink to me and shut the front door without another word. I was surprised that Charlie hadn't said no to me climbing on the back of a two wheeled death machine. I couldn't help but grin upon realizing just how much my father seemed to trust Jacob with my well being.

Jacob took my things and loaded them on the back of the bike. "Ready?" He smiled at me with his signature dimpled grin.

"Yea... Absolutely!"

He placed the helmet on my head, carefuly checking if it was tight enough, before he mounted the bike and nodded for me to join him. "Come here, Bells."

I gingerly climbed on the back and wrapped my arms securely around Jacob. My hands coming to rest on his midsection. He placed his hand on top of mine, reving the engine and kicking up the kickstand. "Hold on, okay." He said as we took off.

It was by far the best ride to school I had ever experienced! It was exilerating! I felt so alive and free as we flew down the open road. Despite the small voice in the back of my head reminding me that there was only a few feet between me and the pavement below, I felt one hundred percent safe with Jacob. I tightened my arms around him as we sped toward school. We were there in no time and I was truly dissapointed to have to even go to school after a ride like that. He helped me take off my helmet and I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling it was still smooth and tangle free, thankfully. "Do I look okay?" I asked him, grabbing my bag off the back of the bike. Jacob chuckled and stepped closer to me.

"You always look beautiful." He said, touching a lock of my hair. I had to somehow force myself to walk away from him and into first period. "I'll see you... later?"

"Yea... I'll pick you up... if you want?" He said with his grin lighting up his whole face. My heart warmed to see him this happy.

"Okay... Yea... I'll see you then." I nodded and went to walk into school. I paused briefly after taking a few short steps, biting my lower lip nervously and debating on turning around and giving him a public proper goodbye before he left. I glanced around at the many groups of talking students and taking notice of how every high school girl was shamelessly gawking at him. I turned on me heel and saw Jake pause by the bike in response. I swiftly approached him again and didn't hesitate to hug him in front of all my fellow classmates. I heard a few whispers around us, each of them I'm sure drawing the wrong conclusion. Truth was, I just didn't care. I pulled back, my face mere inches from his as I placed a kiss on his cheek, before releasing him with a grin of my own and hurrying off to first period.

I didn't dare look back. I knew if I did, I would surely be late for first period English. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me though, without even having to look back.

I quickly ran into the building to be greeted with a beaming Jessica. "Hi Bella!" She squeeled, taking my arm, and strolling into class with me. I could hardly focus on anything Mrs. Litmore had to say. I was usualy entranced in her class, being the bookworm that I was. But today, I found myself glancing out the window a lot, and glancing up at the clock every 15 minutes.

At lunch, Angela sat next to me. "Bella..." She said with much enthusiasm. "Who in the world dropped you off this morning?" I blushed furiously, looking down at my sandwich.

"Um... That was Jacob..."

Angela's mouth practically fell open. "Tell me he has a brother! Or A cute cousin or something! Bella... He's... gorgeous!" She beamed. I just shook my head. If they only knew, I thought to myself, with a small laugh escaping my lips. Angela qucikly hugged me, a sincerity in her embrace.

"No... but... seriously Bella... I'm really glad to see you're better. Last few months were rough... I missed you." She said.

Angela and I had been close throughout this school year, and I had seperated away from her when Edward had left. I glanced behind me at the empty table, a sudden pain coming over me. I shook my head, refusing to succumb to the pain from the memory of them sitting there at that very table. I smiled half a smile at Angela from hearing the genuineness in her tone.

"I missed you, too..." I told her, quickly excusing myself to head to the ladies room before 5th period began. I brushed through my hair, steeling a glance at my reflection in the mirror and taking notice I now looked a hell of a lot better than I had a mere month ago. The bell soon rang and I rushed to class, barely making it into my seat before the teacher noticed I was 30 seconds late.

The rest of the day flew by and I was grateful to hear the final bell, grabbing my bag and walking out of school with Angela. She was talking to me about her week off and how she had been, and what Colleges she was applying for when she suddenly stopped talking. Halting herself and me in the process. She gasped and stared straight ahead. I looked back at her with a bit of concern.

"Ang... what... what is it?"

She nodded ahead of her and I followed her gaze till my eyes met Jacobs. He was leaning casually against his bike, an instant smile coming to his face when he saw me.

"Bella." Angela gasped, mouth wide open. "He... He's... picking you up... too?"

I nodded and gave her a small hug. "I'll talk to you tomorrow Ang."

I saw her simply nod to me in return as I headed for Jacob. A smile forming with every step I took. I was vaguely aware of all the girls staring shamelessly at him again. Some of them blushing a scarlet red if he made eye contact. It was moments like these that made me feel a bit proud. And dare I say...threatened... all at the same time. He scooped me up in a huge hug before helping me with my helmet. I could feel peoples eyes roaming over us as we left.

When we got to my house, I climbed off the bike, taking off my helmet and handing it to him. "You know... You made quite the impression today at school." I laughed.

"Really?" He asked, laughing himself.

"Yea... See anyone that might... interest you?" I asked him, playfully teasing.

Jacob closed the small distance between us, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me to him. My breath caught in my throat as he reached his hand up and caressed my cheek, his eyes meeting mine when he spoke. "Yea... I'm holding her... right now." He said, leaning into me. My head spun, feeling the intense warmth spread through his sweatshirt and Jacket. The words came spilling out of my mouth, before I could think better to stop them.

"Well... she must be really lucky... to have you." I said, feeling my nerves get the better of me.

Jacob leaned in closer to me, his warmth wrapping me up, taking me to somewhere far away.

"She means... a lot to me. So much so that it scares her." He said softly to me. I kept my eyes locked with his, not surprised in the least to hear him pinpoint what I was feeling so well.

"Why?" I breathed, feeling his lips impossibly close to mine, lingering there for moments on end.

"Because... she's been hurt... really bad before... And falling for someone new scares her to death. But the things is." Jacob paused, his eyes searching my own. "If she only knew how much she meant to me... She would know that I would never hurt her. Not for anyone, or anything in the world." He finished in a whisper to me just before his lips found mine. I closed my eyes again, getting lost in him. His lips molded to my own as I kissed him back softly. Jacob wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me closer to him, erasing any chill from the cool air around us. My head spun and my heart pounded as my body warmed to his.

I felt him pull back, breaking the kiss. "Do you know?" He whispered to me, kissing my forehead sweetly.

I open my eyes, trying to formulate words and say something... anything... After a few more seconds passed I was able to find my voice again.

"What?..."

_ "_That I would never hurt you?"

I nodded to him, my mind reflecting back to who else had once said that. To someone else who had uttered the same thing, only to leave me like nothing in the end. I swallowed hard at the choking feeling building from within me.

I couldn't do that. It wasn't fair to Jacob or to myself. It was something I needed to work on.

I looked up into Jake's Eye's. "Jacob... " I sighed, "I'm ... trying."

"I know, Bells." He replied, kissing my forehead again and walking me to the door. I had hoped he would stay, but he had patrol to run tonight.

"I can come back... after... if you want me to?" He offered.

"No... No, you need your rest... but I'll see you for dinner tomorrow night at your house... right?"

"Yea.. six tomorrow night."

Charlie pulled in and waved to Jake and I standing in the doorway. " I'll see ya , Bells..." He said, quickly kissing me on the cheek, and giving me a smile , stepping off the steps, and giving Charlie a nod as he passed by. I watched him and waved as he drove off on his bike. My heart ached a bit to see him go, I touched my chest realizing for the first time that my heart ached at his absence... instead of aching for Edward. I stood in the doorway staring out the door, not even hearing Charlie ask me how my day was.

"Bella... Hello... Bella?" Charlie asked me again. I snapped out of it.

"Um... yea... what?"

Charlie put an arm around me."I like this..." He said, with a smile. I wasn't exactly sure what he was referring to until he clarified.

"What?"

"You and Jacob. I really do. How was your day?" He asked me as we walked into the kitchen, so I could get started on dinner.

"Today... was good..." I said, digging out the pots and pans. Charlie stopped me.

"Hey kiddo, lets say we order out. My treat. What do ya feel like? How about Chinese?"

"Sure... okay."

Charlie picked up the phone, walking into the living room and ordering takeout. His words coming back to me. "I really like this... you and Jacob." I felt a sharp pain in my stomach as I thought of Edward suddenly. His face coming clear to my mind. I sat down at the kitchen table, trying to shake off the thought.

Heavy guilt lashed at me from the thought. Jacob didn't deserve me constantly dwelling in the past and I was determined not to reside there anymore. He deserved to have all of me, not just a piece of me. Charlie came back in, hanging up the phone and seeing my concentrated stare. "Penny for your thoughts there, kiddo."

I smiled, trying to dismiss this feeling, but it stayed there. Dinner arrived shortly, and Charlie and I ate together while he went over some paperwork from the station he had to filll out and turn back in tomorrow. My school work was already done ahead of time. Which left me with entirely too much free time on my hands after dinner. I decided to stay busy by cleaning. Charlie watched me as I busied about, looking at me as if I'd gone mad when I vacuumed under his feet in the living room,and then scrubbed the kitchen floor with lemon pine sole and a scrub brush, on my hands and knee's no less. In two hours, the house was spotless, including the bathrooms and even Charlie's room, which I vacuumed and dusted as well. When I was finished, I put all the supplies away and told Charlie I was gonna take a shower and head to bed.

"Bella it looks great in here. Thanks... you didn't have to do that."

"I know but I wanted to. Keeps me busy. Good night dad. I love you." I said, heading up the stairs. I took a long hot shower, letting the heat relax my muscles. But even as I stood under the cascading water, I craved another kind of warmth. The kind that only came from Jacob. I sighed, resting my head against the shower wall. I needed to take a break from this... whatever it was... I needed some time. And I needed to do it without hurting Jacob. I needed to know where the hell I stood with myself before fully moving on with someone else. I owed that to myself and I sure as hell owed that to Jacob.

I dressed for bed and laid down, staring wide eyed at the ceiling above me. I just needed some time.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Let me start by saying a HUGE heart felt thank you to all those who have followed this story still! I have been dedicating a lot of time to another fiction of mine, but a recent review got the wheels turning and gave me a needed push to continue this story as well! Happy Reading! :)**

**CHAPTER NINE**

**(BPOV)**

I had never been one to take a risk when I needed to. I was known for being pretty reserved and simple. The biggest risk I'd taken was when I'd met Edward. I gave him a huge part of myself and he selfishly took it with him when he left. That piece of me would never be replaced, but I was learning with each new day, to be okay with that. I was starting to smile again and the turning tide of my inner turmoil was all thanks to Jacob. His persistent care and genuineness had shown me that life did indeed go on. My world felt shattered when Edward left, but maybe... just maybe... I could start new and grow from this. After all, life was full of lessons and I had learned something valuable from this time of darkness. I had learned to remember my own well being and to not let the past form and predict my future.

I had barely slept last night. My thoughts were on the sunny smile of Jacob and how he made me feel. With him... I felt equal... even keeled... and for the first time... true to _myself..._ true to _what I wanted_.

It was about time for me to give my heart what it had been screaming for lately. I was done with denying it. Done with being overly cautious and reflective. Done with the past of the Cullen's. They all were a huge part of my past, but that's where they needed to remain. My future was held in the warm russet hands of the one who's bright and sunny smile left me blushing like a fool and tripping over my own words.

I quickly made breakfast for Charlie and left him a note, telling him I would be in La' push for the afternoon.

The wind blew furiously around me. The chill with it enough to send a shiver through me when I climbed in the cab of my truck. I turned the key in the ignition and heard the old Ford roar to life as my eyes were suddenly drawn to a small folded piece of paper that laid in the passenger seat. I snatched it up and my breath caught in my throat when I noticed the fancy lettering it was written in. The paper thick and heavy, like that from a special ordered monogramed stationary. The Letter "C", was bold and prominently etched at the bottom left corner. My eyes bulged when I read the first line...

_**Dear Isabella**__,_

**_I promised it would be as if I never existed... I have broken my promise and for this... I am sorry._**

There was no sincerely signature at the bottom, but I knew who it was from. My mind went blank as the letter fell from my hands to the floor board of my truck.

...

...

He was here. In Forks... Somewhere...

My eyes scanned the trees and my heart raced as I put the old truck in gear and headed for La' push. My hands shaking but my heart steadily anchored to my destination.

He left...

Threw me into the worst depression I'd ever faced...

I lost who I was for weeks and weeks...

He didn't give a shit about my feelings when he made the choice to leave...

What did he think leaving that letter would do? Make me run back to him without a second thought? No... Surely not. I was no longer the unhinged girl who couldn't seem to pull herself together long enough to make a damn definitive decision to save her own pathetic and empty life. No...

That was then... This is now.

I pressed my foot down harder on the rickety gas pedal and topped out the old rusty ford to it's highway limit of 65mph. My hands white knuckle gripping the steering wheel.

The nerve of him to just come back here and assume!

"Selfish ... arrogant... pompous Ass..." I muttered under my breath as I took the exit that led me to La'Push. It was early in the morning still and I hoped I wouldn't be waking Billy with my unexpected visit. Not that I think he would've minded anyway. I knew deep down that Billy was rooting just as hard as my father was for Jacob and I to get together. It was certainly no hidden secret.

I slowly entered the Res and crept along the dirt road, seeing The sun as it began to peer through the heavy clouds. My truck came to a halt in front of Jake's garage. No lights were on in the house and I mentally kicked myself for not waiting another hour or two before just showing up. The sound of a loud whistle coming from the woods had my attention drawn there to see Sam waiting by the forest border. His look angry and intimidating.

A few sleeting seconds passed before Jacob came jogging out. His look unreadable when he saw me there. His smile was present but small and never came close to touching the warm hue of his eyes.

I felt the hair raising anxiety wash over me when Sam called for him. His baritone dominating and instructive. "Jacob."

With nerves racing, I got out to greet Jake. His embrace was welcomed and I eagerly returned it, wishing Sam's timing had been better.

"I'll be back soon. Stay a while?" He asked, his warm words covering me like a blanket.

"Of course. I'll wait for you."

He kissed me on the cheek and soon ran full tilt for Sam. Their human forms rapidly disappearing with adequate speed and cover of the forest.

Billy's inviting voice came from behind me as I watched them go. "Bella... Nice of you to stop by dear. Care to keep an old man company and have a cup of coffee?"

"Sounds good to me." I replied, following after him inside. His smile genuine to me as he poured us each a cup.

"You're up early?" I asked.

"Always have been. You know the wise old saying... Early bird gets the worm. Or should I say the wolf..." Billy replied with a solid laugh. The sound reminding me of Jacobs and bringing an immediate grin to my face. "You know, I could say the same applies to you? What has you up an about before the suns full rise this morning?"

"Well... " I sighed, gripping my mug of hot coffee. "I needed to speak to Jake, but Sam kinda delayed that a bit. "

"Pack obligations can be interfering at times, can't they?"

"I don't mind waiting... gives me a chance to catch up with you. How have you been lately?"

"Not too bad for an old timer like myself." Billy chuckled.

"I'm glad to hear it."

"How's your old man doing himself these days?"

"He's been working a lot. Pulling some double shifts down at the station. But he's doing well."

"Your old man has always had a strong work ethic. Just part of who he is."

"True." I replied, taking a small sip of my coffee.

Billy's gaze met mine. His observing eyes the same warm hue of brown as Jacobs.

"Jacob's been burning the candle at both ends lately. Been a big adjustment for him when he joined the pack. He's holding his own though and Sam's been helping him with the adjustment. How are you taking all this?"

"I'm ... adjusting ... myself." I replied.

"Just remember that Jacob is still Jacob."

I nodded with a smile, seeing Billy's own wide grin in return as the front door flew open and in came a rowdy crew of Paul, Quil and Jacob. Their mischievous laughter filling the small house.

"What the hell Jake! You didn't have to leave me in the dust like that!" Paul scoffed.

"Not my problem! You should learn to keep up!" Jake taunted.

"Whatever. Freakin' show off!"

There taunting stopped when Jacobs gaze met mine. His grin almost immediate.

"I'll catch you later, Paul." Jake offered, his hand coming to take mine and hauling me to my feet.

"Sure thing bro." Paul chuckled as we headed out to Jake's garage.

My heart began to race when his hand tightened in mine. The sound of the rain beating down on the roof filling the garage.

"You waited..."

"I told you I would, didn't I?" I replied.

"How was your chat with dad?"

"Good... it was nice to talk with him for a while... But... I stopped in earlier hoping to speak with you."

"Well I'm all yours now. Pack obligations done for the day."

I watched him as he picked up some of the many tools strewn about the garage, seeing his warm and sturdy hands as they gathered them. My eyes wandered to his bare torso as he turned back to face me. His look growing serious.

"What's on your mind, Bells?"

"... A lot..."

He placed the wrench he was holding down on his work bench. His hands finding mine and drawing me closer to him. "... Like what? Something happen?"

His simple question making my thoughts wander back to the letter I'd received from Edward earlier.

"I ... got a letter this morning... from... Edward..."

Jake's whole demeanor shift was nearly jolting as his body stiffened and his eyes narrowed. "Cullen... you got a letter from him?"

I nodded and felt his hands leave mine as he walked out around me. His look bordering on angry now.

"It was in my truck. I found it when I was getting ready to drive over here. It said that he had broken his promise and that he was sorry for it."

"Oh yea... which promise was he referring to?" Jake angrily scoffed. His stance changing to defensive as his arms crossed over his broad chest.

"The one about him leaving me be... as if he never existed."

"If only..."

I closed the growing distance between us in attempt to switch back the negative turn of conversation. This wasn't the sole reason I'd come here and I wasn't about to let that letter from Edward derail my intent.

"Jake... I wanted to tell you-"

"This changes things doesn't it?" He suddenly interjected. "With us...?"

"No... that's what I wanted to talk to you about this morning..." I replied, inching myself closer to him and seeing his anger fade. "I thought a lot last night."

"You did?"

"Yea... And I don't wanna keep dwelling in the past. It's not what I want... or... who I want."

"Who..."

I felt him draw me closer and the words came spilling from me before my nerves could interfere. "I want you. I want... us, Jacob. You pulled me out of the darkness. Made me whole... fixed what was shattered. My heart is with you-."

His lips were on mine before I could read any further reaction. The heat off his kiss all consuming as he pressed me to him. The rush of it like standing on a mountain top with a sudden gust of wind stealing your breath away and leaving you in utter awe of the beauty it beheld. His lips were soft, yet hungry and insistent. The feel of his tongue sweeping my bottom lip had me clinging to him, eagerly deepening the kiss and leaving me yearning for more.

This is what my heart had been desperately searching for.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

**(BPOV)**

Like a fire had been lit within me, I hungered for more of him. All sense of place and time now abandoned.

There was no more feeling guilty over what my heart had been screaming for. No more trying to over think what I felt for Jacob. No more living in the dark hell I'd been damn near suffocating from for months. Jake had lifted that heavy veil for me and I was eager to embrace whatever the future may hold in store for us.

Life was about living... not just existing and I planned to do just that... To live again.

His firm hands roamed up my back and I became like putty in his warm hands.

Mold me... shape me... do what_ you want_ with me..._ I'm yours for the taking_.

I held nothing back in my kiss, returning his passion with my own desire. A warmth invading me now from his touch. I basked in it, welcoming it's presence and marveling at just how amazing it felt to be held like this... by_ him_.

The feel of his arms securing me to him ... as if holding every shattered piece of me... putting them all back in place. I had never been able to be so free before. With Jacob there was no fear of losing that self restrain. I was finally free to express what I felt without the need for such restraint.

My hands were in his hair, my mouth molding to his as the heat radiated from him. It's draw, enticing and inviting.

The sudden sound of Embry's approaching yell had me nervously pulling back from him. "Yo ... Jacob... Where you at, bro?"

"Damn it..." Jake muttered, a sly grin forming on his face. "His timing is awful!"

I nodded in agreement and reached for his hand when a clueless Embry came jogging in.

"There you are..." He sighed, stealing a glance down to our joined hands. "...Oh... uh..., I ... didn't know you had company... Hi Bella."

"Hi Embry." I replied to him with a sincere smile, feeling the heated blush rushing into my cheeks and giving away my embarrassment.

"What do you need, Embry?" Jake asked.

"Well... My car is acting up. Remember I told you about the noise it was making last week? You said you'd take a look under the hood? Remember?"

"Oh yea..." Jake sighed, meeting my gaze. "I did tell him I'd look at it. Sorry man... I forgot."

"I can always come back later... if you're... busy..." Embry Stammered, looking more uncomfortable with each passing moment.

I couldn't help but laugh at his awkwardness. "It's okay Embry... I'll wait inside with Billy... I'm sure he could use some company while Jake looks under the hood for you."

"Are you sure? He can come back-." Jake offered in protest.

I leaned up on my tip toes and stole a kiss. The innocence of it changing when Jake secured an arm around me. His lips lingering so close to mine.

"I'll be just inside. Don't worry about it." I breathed, finding it increasingly difficult to leave him.

"Okay... I won't be long."

I waved to Embry as I left, seeing his shocked and wide eyed expression now. He waved back and tripped over Jake's tool box when he stepped forward.

"Uh... B-... B-Bye, Bella."

I couldn't help but laugh all the way to the house. The look on Embry's face was so priceless. I could only imagine what he said to Jake after I left.

Billy was welcoming to me as I waited in the house with him for Jake to finish.

"Well Bella... You're looking a lot better these days." Billy smiled.

"I feel a lot better these days... Thanks to Jake."

Billy's grin was wide, genuine and equally infectious.

"... I'm really grateful for all he's done for me, Billy."

"He cares for you... a lot... no secret there, dear." He replied.

"I wouldn't have made it through all this without him."

"I'm so glad to see you well again. I know your dad is, too. Had him real worried for you there for a while."

"I know..."

Jake soon sent Embry on his way and came in to join Billy and I.

"What's the damage on that old junk of his?" Billy laughed.

"Needs a new alternator. Won't hold a charge. That's all. Told him I'd order it and put in a new one when it arrived."

"... Always something with his car..." Billy chuckled. "I'm heading out for the day. Sue should be here to pick me up soon. She wanted some company."

"Good... Tell Leah and Seth to be on time for the pack meeting tomorrow. Sam wasn't thrilled they were late last time."

"Will do. They'll learn eventually." Billy sighed with a shake of his head. "Have a good day you two... Be back for dinner later."

Sue waved to me from her car as Jake helped his father get settled in. I waved back and couldn't help but think of Harry and how much he was greatly missed. My father had taken his death hard and still talked of him often.

"So... Do I get you for the day?" Jake asked, a charismatic grin on his face.

"Yes... If you'll have me..." I sighed.

His hands found mine, drawing me to him. "I was thinking we could take a ride... on the bike down to the beach? Have lunch... pick up where we left off earlier..."

I could only nod when his soft lips brushed mine. The move sending delicious tingles down to my toes. I captured his lips and felt the electric warm current run over me when my tongue met his. Heavy desire spread through my veins with visceral weight as a vibrant flush settled into my cheeks.

I was helpless to stop myself from indulging in him as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him thoroughly. His warm hands trailing down my sides and soon sliding up under my shirt.

My breath caught as his strong hands touched my bare back, caressing my skin as his lips brushed my ear. "Bells..."

The way he said my name. The sincere adoration behind his tone had my heart sprinting and my hands shamelessly roaming and exploring the well defined muscles of his chest. His warm skin so alluring to the touch as his whispered words hung in the air.

"... I love you."

My response was breathy and immediate to him. "I love you, too."

His heart warming smile was radiant in return and I couldn't help but smile back.

"... What you said this morning..." He began, a nervous hesitancy to his tone.

"... I meant them... all of them... I want us, Jacob."

"... I want us, too... " He whispered in reply before bringing his lips back to mine.

It had been so long since I'd felt anything real that I was eager to simply bask in the feeling with him. Like seeing the sun for the first time in weeks.

Jacob backed me up into the house, swinging the door closed firmly behind him. I was suddenly aware of just how empty his house was and just how very alone we were.

"I think you shocked Embry..." Jake chuckled.

"I thought so..."

"You should have heard him when you left... had a million questions."

"Oh yea...?"

"Of course." He laughed. "He loves gossip. Worse than a woman, I swear! Asking me when we started dating-"

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him he needed to mind his own business and not gossip so much. Besides... We hadn't talked... and..."

"Today..." I interjected with a grin. "You should... tell him... we started dating today..."

We were both grinning like fools and I didn't care. I was happy... for the first time in months... I was happy again.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Wanted to take the time to update this story as well this week :) I will be updating as regularly as possible. As always, a HUGE thanks to all those who support and follow this story... Enjoy the Chapter!**

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series. They are all the sole property of the talented Stephanie Meyers. Any and all recognizable content/characters belong to her.

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

I had hoped that my shift at Newton's would fly by, but as the hours ticked tediously along, my hope for that began to vanish. When the end of the day finally neared, I was eager to get home and start cooking dinner. Truth be told, normally, I dreaded the task each night, but tonight was different... a special occasion. Tonight would be no ordinary dinner with Charlie. Tonight was the night I planned to tell him that Jake and I were dating... officially. Billy already knew and I was eager to tell Charlie as well. Neither Jake nor I had to physically tell Billy the news, he already knew by just looking at us. He had sworn to keep it to himself until I got the chance to tell dad, and tonight would be my chance to do just that.

I rushed home and began putting together the many layers of lasagna. It was, after all, Charlie's favorite dish. I made two pans, knowing how much food Jacob could put away all on his own. I wanted to be sure I had more than enough.

When dinner was in the oven, I got busy setting the table and was placing silverware out when the chilling sound of solid footsteps hovered above me from upstairs. I paused where I was, stopping all movement, and feeling the panic begin to settle in as I glanced up and heard them again.

One step... Two steps... Three steps... Four...

I quietly crossed the kitchen and grabbed one of Charlie's steak knives in the wooden block by the stove. My hand shaking as I approached the foot of the stairwell, holding the knife in a death grip and waiting to hear more of them scuff across the hard wood floor.

I was fearfully now aware that I was_ not alone_ in the house...

Someone was in my room...

I took the stairs one at a time, carefully placing my weight, in an effort not to make a sound. I could feel the hair rise up on the back of my neck and my skin tingle with fear, as I crested the top of the stairs, holding my breath and seeing the shadow looming just under my closed bedroom door.

A small gasp left me when I saw the shadow draw near to the door. I had never been faced with an intruder before, but I knew enough from Charlie's incessant rants about woman's safety and all the self defense lectures he'd drilled into my brain from the time I was six, to know that I needed to keep my head about me. Whoever was behind my door had to be aware of presence in the house with them.

The sound of my cell phone ringing loudly from down stairs had me frozen where I stood, my breath hitching as I debated on running for it, and telling whoever was on the other line that there was an intruder in the house, or choosing to remain where I was. I soon chose the first option and made a mad run for the bottom of the stairs. By saving grace, I didn't trip and had made it to the kitchen table before a cold arm caught me firmly by the waist and hauled me backwards. I screamed, the sound ear piercing as the knife was knocked out of my hand with great force, scattering across the kitchen floor.

I was abruptly spun around to face my intruder, expecting a monster to be staring back at me, only to be met with the hauntingly familiar golden gaze of Edward instead.

My prior scream died out the moment I saw his face, leaving us both silent and staring at each other.

"You..." I breathed, feeling his cold embrace chill me to the bone. I fought against him, my shock of the moment swiftly turning into hot anger. "Let go!"

He did so without any further request, holding his hands up in surrender when I grabbed my cell phone as it rang again. It was Charlie.

"Please don't answer it, Bella." He sighed, his look haunted and agonized.

I hit the ignore button and retrieved the steak knife that had clattered to the floor, placing it back in the wooden block and trying to stop from shaking like a damn leaf.

"What the hell were you thinking?' I yelled, turning around to face him. "Were you trying to scare the hell out of me. Cause if you were, mission accomplished. What are you doing here?"

"I came back... for you, Bella." He whispered, his tone seeming weak to me when he spoke.

I shook my head profusely in disbelief. "No... no you left... Remember?"

My tone was bitter with him and I saw him flinch from it, not giving a damn if I had hurt him with my cold and harsh words. He had certainly dispensed his fair share of hurt to me. Why should I care for his feelings now when he never thought of mine before?

"It's true, Bella..." He affirmed, seeing my denial. "I made a horrible mistake before-"

"No... Get out." I spat coldly, giving him a shove and feeling his concrete weight under my palms.

"Bella... please-"

"NO!" I yelled. Angry tears now clouding my vision as the pain of what he'd done came lashing over me. "I said... GET OUT!"

He looked truly shocked at my words. His eyes hollow and unreadable as they met mine again.

"I know you're angry... I know I hurt you when I left, but you have to believe me. I never meant to, Bella. Leaving you was the hardest-"

"What part of get out don't you understand, Edward." I yelled again.

He suddenly approached me then, his hands reaching for mine and his ice cold touch, nerve shattering for me. I pulled harshly away from his grasp, rejecting his touch, and backing up into the kitchen.

"Bella... I_ need_ you. Please... I have to have you with me." He groaned.

"I want you to get the hell out of my house and don't come back." I coldly replied, seeing his gaze grow tortured at my unforgiving words.

"... You don't mean that..." He countered.

"Yes... Yes, I do." I snapped, swiftly walking to the front door and throwing it open for him to leave. "Get out."

He followed me over and hesitated in the doorway. His defeated stance evident.

"I know about Jacob... about the two of you." He stated once on the porch. "...and you're making a mistake, Bella. I understand your affection toward him because of what he did for you in my absence. He held you together, and for that I'm grateful to him. But he's not the one for you."

I didn't give him the satisfaction of my reply, instead I simply slammed the door in his face and locked it behind me. The adrenaline now coursing through my veins and making me dizzy from the aftermath of it.

I hadn't had more than a minute to recover from his intrusion before Charlie's police cruiser pulled in the yard. I took a deep, steadying breath and tended to the lasagna cooking in the oven.

"Something smells damn good!" Charlie yelled in from the living room.

"I hope you're hungry!" I replied over my shoulder.

"When's Billy and Jacob due to arrive?"

"Soon... shouldn't be too much longer."

"I need a quick shower and a change of clothes. Be down in a minute, honey." Charlie tiredly sighed, placing a soft kiss on my cheek and soon heading for the stairs.

When I was once again alone in the kitchen, I let out a shaky breath, still feeling rattled from Edward's sudden and unwelcomed presence.

Who the hell did he think he was? Barging into my room like that. Was he delusional enough to think that I would simply take him back without a second thought after all he'd put me through? No... not a chance in hell. If that's what he thought... he was sadly mistaken.

Charlie came back down after his shower in a few short minutes, and grabbed a cold beer from the fridge. His gaze growing worried when he glanced my way.

"You look... pale honey? Feel alright?" He asked, placing a hand on my forehead with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm fine, dad. Long day at work is all."

"You sure?" He questioned, not seeming fully convinced.

"Yea... I'm sure."

The knock and the sound of Billy's greeting from the front door, had proved as a distraction and I was thankful Charlie had simply left it at that, needing no further convincing from me.

"Hey there old timer." Billy laughed, as Jake wheeled him in. His eyes on mine with a warm grin highlighting his face.

"Who you callin' old timer?" Charlie teased back, flipping on the sports channel and offering him a cold beer from the fridge.

"Hey... You know I call it like I see it!" Billy joked.

I smiled at their friendly banter and took shelter in Jake's offered embrace.

"Dinner smells great, Bells." He whispered in my ear, causing a shiver to spill down my spine. "But not nearly as good as you..."

I felt the rapid warmth of my crimson blush spread over my cheeks as his hand took mine, earning us both a curious look from an all to observant Charlie.

Billy erupted into a robust fit of laughter, shaking his head and patting a dumbfounded Charlie on the back.

"Ugh..." I sighed, tightening my hold on Jake's hand. "Dad... there's something we want to tell you..." I began, glancing up to see a wide grin on Jake's face. "Jake and I... we're... together... dating... officially..."

My fathers look went from perplexed to reserved and from reserved to uncertain. I felt the unease of the silence creep in over us. The many seconds passing by without Charlie uttering a single solitary word, was rapidly growing to be more than I could stand.

Thankfully, Billy soon cleared his throat, breaking some of the ice and raising his beer to Charlie. "Well... I for one... couldn't be happier."

My father slowly raised his half empty beer can to tap Billy's and relief washed over me when I saw a sincere grin suddenly grace his face.

"You know what, Bella... I'm happy for you... for both of you. It'll take me a while to get used to it... but uh... I guess we both saw this coming for some time now, eh Billy?"

Billy laughed and nodded in agreement, silently offering us a wink as I felt Jake pull me in front of him, his arms wrapping around my waist and my whole body warming to his.

"So... you're okay with this?" I asked.

"I am." Charlie sighed. "Jake... you know I love you like a son... But don't break my baby girl's heart. Got it?"

"I won't... I promise, Charlie." Jake replied, his hold on me tightening with his response.

"It aint like we didn't have a hunch where this was headed with you two." Billy chuckled. "Jake here has been smiling like he won the lottery the last few days."

Jake's lips were soon at my ear. His whispered words low... husky and sincere. "I did..."

We all enjoyed dinner together. Everyone complimentary of the lasagna and my father giving Jake grief for the three plates he scarfed down without a breath in between.

"Jeez Jake... No wonder you're growing like a weed lately. Hell... I think you've shot up a whole damn foot... or close to it."

Billy laughed at his comment, all of us well knowing where his growth spurt had come from... everyone except my father, of course.

There was good times to be had all around and I genuinely enjoyed dinner with them and listening to the friendly banter they all shared over the upcoming game.

As simplistic of an evening as it seemed and as ordinary as some may think it was... having Jake's hand in mine made this evening anything but simplistic for me, and having my father's blessing made this evening far from ordinary.


	12. Chapter 12

** CHAPTER TWELVE**

**(JPOV)**

I could taste the blood in my mouth from biting my tongue throughout the entire dinner at Bella's. A volatile cuss had left me the moment I pulled onto her street as the acidic stench of leech invaded the cab of the truck. It was revolting and made my stomach violently churn.

"What the fuck..." I muttered, pulling up to her house and smelling the stench become more prominent there. I knew damn well who the stench belonged to.

My father wasn't ignorant to this. He had asked me what my problem was a few times and I had lied through my teeth to keep the conversation and mood at Charlie's light. For his sake alone and I would be lying if I said it wasn't without great effort. It took everything in me not to show my anger or open my mouth.

When I embraced Bella at the front door and smelled his vial stench on her clothing, I nearly lost my shit right then and there, loathing the fact her beautiful and intoxicating scent was now mixed with the acidic stench of fucking Cullen. For saving face sake alone, and not wanting to ruin the evening for everyone, I chose to suffocate the nausea and trudge forward through the rest of the evening. The final straw for me came when Bella had cleared the table after dinner and a phone call interrupted Charlie and Billy's chatter.

Charlie's look went angry when he handed the phone to Bella.

"Uh... Bella... you have a phone call."

His displeased tone was more than enough for me to know who was on the other end of that call

Bella tossed the towel on the counter, her gaze immediately angered when she grabbed the phone from her father's hand. "Don't call here... again..."

She abruptly hung up and when her gaze met mine, I knew I could no longer shove this down. I was done biting my tongue. I swiftly stood and caught her hand in mine, taking her outside with me and trying to keep my words whispered enough so Charlie wouldn't hear.

"I know you're probably pissed... I didn't know he was gonna be here-" She nervously began.

I cut her off, unable to stop my words before they spilled out. "Tell me what happened. Where the hell in the house was he and why can I smell his revolting stench all over you like a bad perfume, Bella!"

My tone was angry and I tried to keep my head about me. This was the second time he'd shown his unwanted presence in one way or the other. First the fucking note and now this shit.

"He was in my room... I heard him upstairs when I was making dinner. I didn't know who was up there at first. Scared the hell out of me. I grabbed a kitchen knife and when Charlie called my cell, I ran for it, trying to get to it. He caught me before I made it..." She explained.

"Caught you... He put his hands on you?" I asked, my own hands reflexively clenching at the mere thought.

"Yes, but he released me when I told him to." She clarified, seeing me get heated.

"So he's now back in town. How fucking convenient." I scoffed, shaking my head.

"This doesn't change anything for us, Jacob. Him being here means absolutely nothing to me. I hope you know that. Please don't let him ruin this. I know he'll try..."

"He had no right coming into your house... uninvited and unwelcome. I'm calling Sam and letting him know he's back. I have a responsibility to do so, Bells. Is he the only one or are they all stopping in for a friendly visit? How long before the others show up?"

"He's alone... as far as I know. He didn't mention any of them joining him back here in Forks."

I dialed Sam and quickly filled him in. He then informed me he would be sure to step up patrol measures at Bella's and to keep a watchful eye out for him. I ended the call and saw Bella's gaze remorseful and seeming unsure.

I took a step toward her, pulling her closer to me. "I'm not angry with you, Bells. I just hate that he invited himself into your house. He has no right to ever do it and if he's smart... if he knows what's good for him, he won't do it again."

"I made it clear to him today that I don't want anything with him. He can't just decide to show up here and think-"

"... That you'd go running back..." I finished for her, seeing her eyes meet mine.

"That's not gonna happen." She assured me. "You're what I want, Jacob."

Her reassuring words helped calm some of the anger, but it sure in hell didn't erase it. I secretly hoped to cross paths with Cullen. Maybe a trip to his house was over due. I'm sure by now, he would be expecting my arrival. He'd be a damn fool not to. I was sure that it wouldn't take much convincing from me to get a few of the guys to go along when I paid him a returning unwelcomed visit. I had just the wolves in mind for the trip.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**(JPOV)**

The remainder of the evening flew by and it was soon approaching midnight. Bella had fallen fast asleep with her head on my shoulder over an hour ago. I didn't dare move much since she'd dozed off. Charlie had laid a blanket over her sometime shortly after when he noticed her sleeping sound.

"Getting pretty late isn't it?" He yawned, glancing down at his wrist watch.

"It certainly is getting late in the evening, old friend. Should get heading on home now, Jake." Billy replied.

I nodded and placed a kiss on Bella's forehead as I slipped my hand out from hers and tried not to wake her up when I went to leave.

"Thanks for coming over. Been nice to have the company again and uh..." Charlie paused, placing a firm hand on my shoulder. "I want you to know that seeing my daughter's smile finally return means the world to me, Jake. I know damn well you've had a lot to do with that. So, Thank you."

I shook his hand as I met his sincere gaze, seeing the genuine truth behind his words to me.

"We'll be seeing you around this week, Charlie. Thanks again for dinner. Was a great old time." Billy sighed when we approached the door to leave.

The drive back home was silent. My father having fallen asleep on the ride and leaving me to make a few calls on my cell. I called Paul and Quil, knowing they'd willingly come along with me to a certain demonic lair when I filled them in on what had gone down earlier at Bella's.

Needless to say, I was right. They were more than happy to meet up in my garage once I got back home and helped dad get settled in and comfortable for the night.

By the time I reached the garage, seeing them both waiting for my arrival, my palms were already twitching to get my hands on that self righteous, think he knows best, arrogant asshole.

"What's the plan man?" Quil hedged, approaching me with a mischievous grin. "Did he really show up at her house? In her damn room, no less?"

"Yea..." I spat in reply, motioning for them to follow me as I ran off into the darkened woods of the night. "Come on... Stay close behind me and follow my lead. It's about time someone gave him a dose of his own fucking medicine."

We ran with vast speed through the dense forest, keeping our senses alert and searching for the trail of his acidic and revolting stench as we neared his old mansion. Seeing the house covered in darkness as the stench soon struck us all in the face.

"_He's here_..." Paul huffed. _"...And he's not alone_."

"_Looks like he brought his sister along for the trip_... _I can smell her._" Quil added.

The lights suddenly turned on in the house as we lingered there by the trees.

"_The two of you stay here and keep watch. I'll be back_."

"_Got it."_ Paul huffed, his gaze meeting mine before I took cover and phased back to human form, slipping on my jeans and heading for their front door.

I knocked only once before he answered. His eyes assessing me and his dismissive tone only further pissing me off

"Ah, yes... Jacob... of course. I've been expecting you for some time now."

"I'm sure you have." I replied, seeing his eyes narrow.

"You know... there's really no point in dragging this out. Say what you will... won't change anything. I'm here for Bella. No words from you will change that."

He tried to close the door, but my hand firmly caught it and shoved it back open, welcoming myself in without the need for his consent.

"**My** turn to talk." I snapped, approaching him in two long strides. "If I ever catch you** forcing** your way into her house again... or putting your cold hands on her...-"

"You'll what?" He countered.

"... **Don't push me**..." I warned.

"Go ahead... show Bella your true colors... killing me would devastate her and you know it."

"What I** know** is what **she wants...** and that's me...** us**. You made your choice months ago when you left her alone in the woods..._ Abandoned_ her there... Made her feel not good enough for you. But the truth is... you were_ never_ good enough for her. You took her choices away, selfishly thinking you knew what was best for her, and left her a shell of herself for months. Charlie didn't even recognize his own daughter. Now... here you are back in town. Expecting her to welcome you back into her life with open arms... expecting her to treat you like your some night in shining armor on a white horse. **Give me a fucking break!** Who the hell do you think you are? You have absolutely no claim on her and if you cared for her well being at all... you'd leave her the hell alone."

I saw him take a step back and his eyes grow haunted with his reply. "I made a mistake-"

"You threw her away like she meant nothing. It was cold... heartless... but I know that's just what you are. A soulless monster. So I expected no less from you."

"You and I come from_ much different_ worlds, Jacob."

"Your point?"

"Don't think you know me... Don't be so foolish as to assume you can predict the measures_ I'm willing to take in order to get her back_. You see, I am a very patient and persistent individual. I have_ no trouble waiting_ for you to screw things up all on your own with Bella."

"**Fuck you**." I spat angrily.

"You know it's true. After a while, Bella will see it too, and she'll come running back to me, and I will be right here, waiting for her with open arms."

His pompous arrogance, and over confident words had my anger peaked and my tremors nearly all consuming, as I fought the urge to phase right here in his house.

"Hear this... I don't know what kind of fucking game you're playing, but I intend to** beat you at it**. You're not coming back into her life and turning her whole damn world upside down... ever again. She's finally happy... with me."

"We shall see..."

"I'm warning you." I countered.

"I know the life you can give her. The life you can offer her that I can't, but you see, her immortality is a fate that has yet to be sealed and one I intend to seal myself. You wouldn't be so foolish as to interfere with that."

"Your confidence is misplaced. Have you forgotten the treaty. You even fucking try it and we'll end you... all of you." I threatened, my anger reaching new levels.

"I do recall the treaty-"

"Than you'd be wise to** abide by the rules in it**."

"And you'd be wise to stay out of my way, Jacob."

"She made a choice to be with me. Respect it... or face the consequences." I yelled, turning my back to him and slamming his front door behind me.

He made the mistake of following me out, his cold hand grabbing my arm and my tremors rocking through me, as my flesh was rapidly replaced with the thick russet fur of the wolf within.

I was now on all fours and facing him, satisfied to see his wide eyed expression. I roared in fury and was soon joined by Paul and Quil. Their matching roars loud and echoing off the surrounding trees.

Alice made a sudden appearance then, her own gaze matching her brothers.

"Edward... we're outnumbered here. Don't push them... remember what Carlisle's warning was before we departed. This is a war we don't want. Something he and Esme tried to warn you about before you came back here."

"I don't care." He snapped at her, taking a step toward me. I advanced forward, a menacing roar ripping its way from me.

Alice pulled on his arm, trying to get him to see reason. "We. Don't. Want. This. Now."

"I do." He yelled. "I want Bella. I've endured the torture of living without her long enough. No more."

My roar continued as he approached me further, despite Alice's cautioned tone.

Paul stepped up beside me, his head now low to the ground as he snarled in warning to him, both ears laid fully back.

"EDWARD!" Alice yelled, pushing him back with great force. "STOP!"

He hissed and fought against her until a loud and thunderous roar of power shook the ground beneath us as Sam emerged from the tree line. His deadly blackened gaze on them and their fighting seizing in an instant.

"We will go..." Alice whispered. Her tone now matching her petite stature.

We watched them as they retreated back inside. Their unease evident in their golden gaze.

Sam's order was loud and clear to us then.

"_Go back to the Reservation. NOW_!"

I felt the heavy weight of the Alpha command wash over me like a tidal wave. It's weight hard to bear as my head immediately bowed to him in obedience. We all followed him back to the Reservation without so much as a thought. The silence in our minds unsettling when we approached my house and soon phased back to human form.

"What the HELL were you thinking. I never gave any of you permission to go there! EXPLANATION! NOW!"

I stepped forward and met his heated stare. "It was my idea. I asked them to go."

"WHY?!" Sam yelled, getting in my face. "I told you I would keep a watchful eye on this."

"It's not enough, Sam." I countered.

"Not enough? Are you questioning me, Jacob?"

"I'm simply telling you that keeping a watchful eye on him, is not enough. Take it as you will."

I was pushing the limit here and I knew it. Sam's gaze narrowing back at me in accusation and anger.

"No one goes there again. Not one of you. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" He shouted.

"Crystal." I scoffed, storming off to my garage and letting a spew of cuss words leave me along the way.

I was pissed to have to submit to him. Though I knew he was my Alpha and I respected him, there were times a push from within me would rise to challenge him and I would have to fight it with everything I had, and not act on the constant urge to take what was rightfully mine. It was something I didn't want to do just yet, but if I felt Sam wasn't taking this shit serious enough with Cullen... If I felt he was taking a risk with Bella's safety then something would have to change and soon.

Maybe... Just maybe... I needed to take my rightful place in this pack. Only time would tell.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

I was startled from my restful sleep by a cold touch on my shoulder. The icy feel of it jolting me wide awake. I gasped aloud when my eyes fell upon Alice. Her small stature now standing next to the couch.

I jumped to my feet, nearly tripping over the coffee table in my haste to get away from her. She had startled the hell out of me and after my encounter with Edward earlier in the day, I was on edge as it was.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to startle you..."

"Well... that's what happens when you break and enter into someone's house without there knowledge... in the middle of the night no less..."

My words were biting and had come out with more harshness than I intended them to. Her face now coming to show her hurt feelings over my reply and I soon became remorseful.

"... I'm not tryin to be rude. I'm sorry Alice. It is_ nice_ to see you, just not under the circumstances."

"I know... my brother has mourned over you greatly." She softly replied, following me into the kitchen.

"He brought it on himself." I sighed, pouring myself some tea.

"You look well, Bella... Beautiful..._ happy_."

"I am _happy. Jacob _makes me happy_." _I truthfully replied, taking a sip of tea, and feeling the warm liquid sooth my throat.

"I can see that. It's evident."

"I would ask you why you're here, but I already know the answer."

"Yes... I came with Edward. He wouldn't listen to reason from anyone. Not even Carlisle and Esme. They couldn't talk sense into him either. None of us have known what to do with him. I'm sorry he caused you trouble."

"He shouldn't have come." I replied, seeing her nod in agreement with me. "He's not welcome here anymore. He should have known better."

"I haven't been able to keep tabs on you lately... Seems the wolves cripple my vision. It's truly maddening..."

"I don't need you or Edward keeping tabs on me, Alice. I know you mean well... but I have all the protection I need with Jacob and the pack. I'll be okay."

"Bella... you know we only do so out of care."

"I understand, but please don't anymore. Edward lost the right to knowing any details about my life, or whose in it, when he left. I would appreciate it if you both respected my request with this."

She slowly nodded and opened her mouth to say something else only to stop mid way when a knock came to the door.

I knew who it was before I answered it and was sure that Charlie would be clambering down over the stairs soon due to the ruckus that was about to unfold.

Alice placed her hand on mine as I stood to answer the loud knock. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble, Bella."

"I know, but Jacob has a right to be angry with the two of you just showing up here." I replied, walking swiftly to the door and seeing her follow me there.

I opened it just as another loud knock came. To my surprise, Sam Uley stood on the other side, in nothing but cut offs. His gaze dark and brooding when he assessed us.

"Are you alright, Bella?" He asked, not taking his angry gaze from Alice.

"I'm not gonna hurt her..." Alice piped up, her tone irritated at the applied insinuation.

"I'm sure... After all... your kind are always so friendly... innocent and all." He snapped back, stepping closer to the threshold. "You're not welcome here."

"Sam..." I countered, placing a hand on his chest and feeling the quaking of the tremors he fought with her presence so near. "I really appreciate you coming to check on me. But I can handle this. Okay?"

He nodded as I removed my hand and saw him meet my gaze. "We'll be right outside if you need anything."

I thanked him again as he turned to leave, seeing him run back to the forest and hearing the silence shattered by the sound of several wolves howling in the distance.

"You really have grown close to him... Jacob... Haven't you?" Alice asked in a small voice when I turned back to face her. "Edward didn't specify... I guess I just thought..."

"... Things have changed, Alice. Everything... I'm not just close to Jacob. He's not a rebound or a way for me to forget about Edward. He's who I want... Who I love."

Alice's eyes grew wide with my truthful admittance. Her whispered reply evidence of her shock. "... Love? You _love_ him?"

"I do... very much. He made me see things clearly... and he was patient with me. He didn't give up on me... even when I was ready to give up on myself... he stuck it out with me and made me remember that there was way more to life than just Edward. I wouldn't have made it through all this without him... without his support."

"I had no idea... Edward made it sound so... insignificant... your feelings for Jacob... Like they were fleeting or temporary. I can tell by the look in your eyes and by the tone you speak his name with... that you mean what you say. You've fallen in love... with Jacob."

Her tone was full of sadness and it made me realize how this would change things for her and I as well. Alice had become like a sister to me in the time I was with Edward. It saddened me to think we may never be that close again.

"I don't want to hurt you... or upset you. That's not my intention. But you and Edward need to know the absolute truth and that's exactly what I'm offering you now."

"You will always be like family to me, Bella. I hope you know that."

"I hope so..." I replied with sincerity. "But that all depends on you... And the way Edward handles things from here. He can't come barging into my house the way he did today and expect Jacob to do nothing. He's asking for trouble. If he wants what's best for me or if he ever truly loved me ... he needs to leave and let me be happy. That's truly what I want, Alice. Nothing more from him."

"I understand and I want that for you, too. I wish you and Jacob all the happiness life can offer the two of you. But Bella... my brother isn't himself these days. He hasn't been in a long time. I can do my best to try and convince him to leave here without you, but it will take great effort. And more than just me to accomplish it."

"Then you need to call Carlisle and Esme for help. Jasper even... all of you can figure out a way to get him to leave Forks. That is what's best for everyone now. For him to leave and never come back here. He can start new with your help and the help of his family somewhere else."

"I will do my best." She sighed, standing and retrieving her coat.

"I hope you succeed, Alice. If you don't... I think this will get ugly and fast."

"I know it may and I will try, Bella."

She hugged me before she left and I watched her through the window as she drove away in Carlisle's car.

I stood there, reflecting on our talk and remembering that there was a time not so long ago when I would've given anything and everything to see her ... to see him... To come across any of them. All in a desperate attempt to keep my fascination and obsession with Edward going. It was borderline crazy. Now, all I wanted was for them to get through to Edward, convince him somehow to leave and never return to Forks.

I had made it as clear as I could to Alice that he was no longer welcome here and Sam showing up surely drove that point home. She knew where I stood with Jacob and what we had together was evident, even to her.

Charlie's groggy tone ripped me away from my thoughts. "What was all the noise about and what time is it, anyway?"

"It's almost three in the morning. I'm sorry... unexpected guest..."

"Who would be dropping in at this hour? A little untimely and inconsiderate, don't you think?"

"...Can be... " I replied, seeing his sleepy gaze meet mine."

"Bella, who stopped in?"

"Edwards sister..."

Charlie's eyes bulged at my reply. "What? At this hour? It better of been important? The brunette, right? Alice?"

"Yea... she's the one."

"What the hell did she want at this ungodly hour?" He huffed.

"To talk... about Edward."

The moment his name left my mouth, Charlie's tired expression shifted to angry in record time.

"Edward? What about him? What could she have to say that was so damn important about his sorry ass?"

"She wanted to explain why he called... and ... showed up here... before that. I told her that I was happy with Jacob now and that Edward was no longer welcome here." I continued on, hoping Charlie was still too asleep to hear everything I said if I rambled fast enough.

"Wait... wait... wait just a damn minute." Charlie huffed, his anger showing in his raised voice. "What do you mean he showed up here before? He came to this house?"

"Yes." I sighed.

"When!" Charlie yelled. "... and why!"

"I took care of it dad." I assured him.

"You took care of it? Which gun of mine did you use?" He darkly chuckled.

"Dad..." I cautioned. "Stop... I handled it."

"Does Jacob know? Did you tell him?"

"Yes I did. He knows. I'm honest with him." I replied, seeing him nod his response.

"You know..." He soon sighed, sitting down with a cup of coffee at the table. "I'm not usually one to condone violence... being a cop and all... but honestly... in this case... I'd surely look the other way if Jake wanted to teach that know it all punk ass a lesson."

I simply nodded and joined him with a cup of coffee. "Don't worry dad. I have no intention of taking him back."

"I sure hope not, Bella. What he did...- What he put you through-"

I placed a reassuring hand over his and met his reflective gaze. "That was then and this is now. I'm okay... better and I won't let him sweet talk his way back into my life."

"Good for you, honey." Charlie replied. "Well... since it's almost dawn now, I might as well get dressed for work. Shift starts at five anyway. Bright and early."

"Will you be home for dinner?"

"Should be."

"Any requests?" I asked.

"No... whatever you make is always good and I appreciate it, Bella. Tell you what... why don't we go out for dinner tonight. My treat? We'll head out to the diner after I get home from work? Sound good to you?"

"Sure... yea dad... thanks. That sounds nice. Been a while since we had dinner just the two of us."

"Great kiddo." He replied before heading upstairs to get ready for his shift.

A huge part of me was starting to wonder if I would forever be sworn to silence with Charlie, unable to tell him the whole truth even if I wanted to. I was beginning to think he needed to know about all the things that secretly went bump in the night, for his safety sake alone. Was it really better to keep him in the dark all this time?

I wasn't so sure anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

Who would've thought that one stupid and severely misguided decision would plague my future and place those I cared about most in danger? If only I could go back... if only... But that was surely wishful thinking.

Telling Charlie the truth seemed like the only way to keep him safe. I wasn't sure how this whole thing with Edward would pan out and didn't want to take any chances with his well being. I'd been selfish enough with him in the past, living as only half of myself for months and months. It had been true hell on Charlie and I never wanted to be that selfish again. I was_ never_ going to fall back into that dark pit.

I had made Charlie breakfast before he left for his shift at the station this morning, a way for me to say sorry that Alice's unexpected visit had interrupted his sleep. Something he needed to get more of as it was.

"You didn't need to cook me such a feast, you know." Charlie chuckled, as he sat down with me to eat.

"Come on, dad. It's no big secret that you should eat better. You know... lay off the steak and the ninety - nine cent supper from a sack heart attack?" I teased.

"Alright, Alright." He sighed. "Point made."

"All kidding aside... I just want you around a long time..."

His gaze met mine and I hoped he could easily recognize the genuine concern in my eyes.

"You're right... I know I eat a lot of... well... crap... for lack of a better term."

"You work hard and I just wanna be sure you take care of yourself." I replied, piling his plate with scrambled eggs.

"I hear you, kiddo. Guess I'll be ordering the toss salad for dinner tonight?" He chuckled.

"That's a start!" I laughed with him as we began to eat our breakfast together.

"You don't expect anymore visitors today while I'm gone, do you?" He soon asked.

"No... I sure in hell hope not."

Charlie shook his head at my reply. "He should leave you alone and if he has a hard time with accepting that request from you... you remember that your old man would be happy to set him straight for you... Anytime!"

I nodded and adverted his gaze, knowing how very dangerous a situation like that could prove to be for Charlie. I didn't want him anywhere near Edward.

"I'll try to keep that in mind." I lied, moving my food around on my plate aimlessly.

"Good..." Charlie sighed. "What's your plan for the day? Looks to be dreary again... typical weekend in Forks."

"I'll probably read for a while. Got some last minute assignments to complete for English class that are due on Monday."

"I see... You plan to drop by Jake's later?" He hedged with a raised eyebrow.

"... most likely..." I admitted to him with a bashful grin.

Charlie saw my blush and cleared his throat. The obvious awkwardness of the moment settling over us as I stood to clear the table.

"I should be heading out now. Thank you for breakfast, Bella. It was great. We still on for dinner at our diner tonight, right?"

"Sure thing. What time should I meet you there?"

"Around six or so. That's when I'm out. I'll call you should I get held up, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan."

I kissed him on the cheek and waved goodbye as he left for work. I was truthfully dreading the English homework that I had to finish but knew it needed to be done. I had to make sure my grades didn't slip at any time if I wanted to get a scholarship for College. It was really important to me and I didn't want to place any financial burden on Charlie. He worked double shifts as it was and it barely covered the bills. Charlie had always been a hard worker. It was something I admired about him, among many other things.

I spent the remainder of the morning, and a good portion of the afternoon, working hard on my English essay, until my head began to pound with an eye strain headache from the concentration on the computer screen. I had finished it just in time to take a shower and head over to meet up with Charlie for dinner. I was in a rush and distracted when the phone rang in the kitchen. I ran to answer it, out of breath as I did.

"Hello?"

"Hey you..."

I smiled widely as I heard Jacob's husky voice come through clearly on the other end.

"Hi..."

"I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. Been out all day patrolling with Sam."

"It's okay... I figured you would be." I replied, feeling the butterflies invade my stomach from just the sound of his warm voice.

"I miss you..." He sighed. The very words surrounding me and wrapping me up like a blanket.

"I miss you, too..."

"You got plans tonight?"

"I... do... I'm having dinner with Charlie in a little while. But um... I'm free after that..."

"Well, I was wondering if you'd be up for a party later? Sam and Emily are throwing a small get together at their place... around eight... He told me you were more than welcome to come with me. So... what'd ya say?"

"I'd love to go." I smiled.

"Great." He chuckled to me in reply. "I'll meet you at your place? Just give me a call when you're back home and I'll come pick you up?"

"Okay... I'll see you then." I softly replied as we hung up.

I was already grinning from ear to ear. What could I say? Jacob had that affect on me.

I soon rushed through town to meet Charlie at the diner, seeing his cruiser parked up front there waiting for me when I pulled in. He got out and met me at the entrance with a grin in place. I returned it as we settled into a corner booth. The waitress swift to take our orders and bring us our beverage of choice.

"Your shift go alright at the station?" I soon asked him, as he picked over his toss salad with a look of true distaste on his face.

"Yeah..." He sighed. "I gotta tell you, Bella... There isn't enough here in this salad to keep a damn rabbit alive. I need something more hardy!"

I shook my head and waved the waitress over again so he could order his usual.

"One way or the other... you're gonna have to start eating healthier."

"I know... I'm just not gonna start till tomorrow." He countered.

"Always the procrastinator." I teased, seeing the waitress soon return with his steak meal and a warm smile for him. The redheaded waitress wore practically no makeup and she was very pretty. Maybe five or six years younger than Charlie... If I had to guess. She had waited on us several times in the past. Her name was Charlene and I had always thought she was a bit sweet on dad. He, of course, knew nothing of it. Or he pretended not to. One or the other.

Dad had sadly never moved on after he and Renee had split all them years ago. He and Billy both remained single to this day, which I personally thought was a real shame, considering they were both too young to throw in the towel on love altogether. My dad could use someone new in his life. Someone to share his days with.

"Will you be needing anything else tonight, Chief Swan?" Charlene asked with a grin.

"No... I believe that will be all tonight, Charlene. Thanks." He replied with a nod to her.

I noticed her looking at him once more before she turned to attend to the needs of the rowdy table across the way. Al of the men there appearing to be about four beers in too many and equally all the more obnoxious for it.

"You know dad..." I sighed, choosing to tread real lightly upon this topic with him. "Charlene seems really nice. Sweet... pretty, too."

"Yeah... I suppose she is."

"I didn't notice a ring..." I hedged on.

Charlie stopped cutting up his medium rare steak and met my inquisitive gaze.

"Playing match maker are we now?" He chuckled.

"No... not really. I was just making an observation..."

"Really? Just an observation, eh?"

"She seems sweet on you?"

"What?" He coughed, nearly choking on his half shewed mouthful of meat.

"She does!" I laughed.

"... She does not." He protested, taking a long haul from his newly opened beer.

"You know... I bet if you asked her out, she would be thrilled to go with you. Maybe to a movie or something here in town."

Charlie looked at me as if I had just sprouted wings. His shocked and wide eyed expression, honestly comical.

"Are you feeling alright?" Charlie laughed, touching my forehead.

"Look... I'm just saying that you're too young to quit dating... I mean... dad... have you even gone on one date since you and mom split?"

Charlie shook his head and glanced over toward Charlene who was taking another order at a different table.

"No... I haven't. I just... I don't know." He sighed with a shrug. "Never really came across anyone that captured my attention the way your mother had way back in the day."

"Mom moved on with Phil and I know you're happy for her. I think you should get that happiness too, dad. You deserve to share your life with someone."

I saw him steel another side glance at Charlene, his gaze lingering and more observant now.

"She is... pretty..."

"mmm-hmm." I replied with a grin.

"Alright, Alright. Maybe the next time I come in-"

"No way... come on. Why put it off? Aren't you the one who always told me that there was no time like the present?"

"Hey now... I don't like it when you start using my few dad talks against me!" He chuckled.

"All I'm saying is, ask her out. Give it a try? What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"Um... Well let's see... She could coldly reject my old ass!" Charlie chuckled.

"No way, dad. I don't see that happening at all."

"She could be... ten years younger than I am for all you know."

"So what if she is?" I countered.

"Ten years is too much of an age gap for me!"

"If you like someone, than you like someone... who cares what the years are between you!" I replied with a smirk.

"You're not gonna let this go are you?"

"Nope..."

Charlie shook his head and finished his steak as I pushed aside the remainder of my half eaten salad and veggie burger. I watched him closely as he waved her over to pay the bill. I nudged him with my elbow when she approached, earning myself a stern look from him.

The bill was only $26.78, but Charlie handed Charlene a crisp fifty dollar bill with a genuine grin. Her own smile wide when she went to hand him the change.

"No, No. You keep that change for a tip."

"Chief Swan... I couldn't-"

"Sure you can. You always take good care of us when we come in here for our regulars and after seeing the rowdy crowd behind us... you certainly deserve a hell of a good tip for handling them, too." Charlie insisted.

"Well..." Charlene sighed with a crimson blush. "Thank you very much. I really appreciate it, Chief Swan."

"Charlie... You can call me Charlie." Dad replied to her.

I couldn't help but grin at the sight of Charlene's blush and her bright smile to him in return.

"Okay... Charlie. Thank you."

She tucked the pen behind her ear and grinned at me before she turned to walk away.

I nudged dad again and earned myself another stern look of disapproval.

"Hey Charlene." Charlie called after her, getting to his feet. She stopped where she was and turned back to face him with an expectant expression on her pretty face.

"Yes... Charlie."

"I ... uh... well... I... was... just wandering if maybe you'd... like to get together sometime... have dinner or maybe get a hot cup of coffee? Somewhere?"

Charlene's whole face lit up with a radiant grin at his request and she eagerly responded.

"Yes... I mean... sure..."

Charlie let out a sigh of relief and ran a nervous hand through his hair at her reply.

She took the pen out again and quickly jotted down her number, handing it to Charlie.

"Just... give me a call?"

"I will..." He replied, smiling to her as he headed back for me.

I grinned at him, seeing his own blush now rapidly settling into his cheeks.

"Well... she... gave me her number."

"See!" I laughed. "I told you she wouldn't reject you. Truth is... I think she's been sweet on you for a while now, dad. Good for you. Don't lose that paper!"

"I won't." He replied, glancing down at the paper she gave him with her digits scribbled on it. "I haven't taken another woman's number since your mom gave me hers in high school."

"Well... never too late to start living, right?" I smiled.

"Right."

I was elated for Charlie and planned to keep my fingers crossed that he actually took the initiative to call Charlene and set up some sort of date. Even a coffee date would be better than nothing. It was a start for him... a small one... but it counted nonetheless.

"Do you think he'll come back... Edward? Again? ... or send his sister here to do his dirty work?" Charlie asked me in a hushed tone, as we headed for the parking lot.

"I don't know, dad. But I think he got the picture... at least I hope so. I couldn't have made it any clearer to him that we were over... I mean... he knows I'm with Jacob."

"Don't put it past him to show back up, Bella. I have a feeling this is far from over with him and his intrusive behavior. Maybe I need to-"

"No, don't!" I sharply cut in, placing a hand on his shoulder as we stopped by my truck. My sudden clipped tone, making his eyes narrow at me.

"Bella... why the hell are you defending him?"

"I'm not..." I replied, knowing that he had no idea where my urgent tone was_ really_ coming from. He had no clue how ruthless and dangerous the Cullen's could be... Not to mention the _Volturi_.

"I don't understand. One minute you're done with him and the next you're-"

"I am_ done_ with him, dad. That ... future... with him... with Edward... it's in the past and no longer what I want for my life. Okay? Jacob is."

"Look... I understand if you don't want your old man medaling around in your personal business, but your well being is always my concern."

"I know, dad... "

"He'll show back up." Charlie fretted.

"If he does, I'll take care of it. I really don't want you worrying about it, alright?"

"We'll see..."-

"I'll follow you home." I replied, trying to quickly change the subject for now.

"Sure thing, kiddo."

The ride home was filled with the tunes of Muse from the local radio station. The loudness and lyrics of it proving to temporarily drown out my thoughts about Edward... and Alice. I knew my father had a point. Edward would probably show back up and when he did, I could only hope my father was absent. I didn't know how far he was willing to push this and the last thing I wanted was for Charlie to be haphazardly thrown into the supernatural.

I soon pulled in to see Jacob waiting for me on the porch. His grin wide and infectious when I emerged from the truck.

Charlie soon greeted him, shaking his hand and giving us a courteous nod before heading inside and leaving us be for a moment alone, something I _greatly_ appreciated, considering I was soon kissing Jacob and wrapping myself around him in a way that certainly would have my father less than comfortable if he'd been there to see it.

Jacob's response to me was immediate, his arms wrapping securely around me and pressing my body to his, leaving me helplessly melting into his warm embrace. The feel of his returning kiss had my heart racing like kerosene to flame. I couldn't help but pull him tighter to me when his tongue lightly brushed my bottom lip and his fingertips grazed the small bit of exposed flesh at the hem of my shirt. That touch... That small skin on skin contact... had me floating and embracing the rush that was soon sweeping up the both of us.

I was abruptly ripped from my desire filled haze when I heard my father clear his throat with assertiveness. Jake released me with a sigh as we hesitantly met my father's crossed gaze.

"... Bella... Your mother is on the phone for you." He stated.

"Okay... thanks, dad." I replied, taking Jakes hand in mine as I passed by him into the house.

I couldn't help but notice that Charlie's face was a crimson red shade of embarrassment as we passed by. He kept a close watch on us in the kitchen when I took moms call, seeing Jake sit down at the kitchen table, flipping aimlessly through the paper Charlie had left there.

I assured mom that I was doing much better and tried to help remove some of her immense worry for me from before. After all, Charlie had called her many times during my black hole of life sucking depression, and told her how bad things were getting. She was just as worried for me as he had been and I wanted her to know how much happier I was these days. She asked me how Charlie was and how his job was going. Then proceeded to ask me about school and tell me all about the new art program she had just joined and how excited she was to start something new. My mother was always looking for something new to do... Some new and captivating way to freely express her creativity. I told her I loved her very much, assuring her that I would call her again next week and we hung up soon after.

I had noticed Jacob fully engrossed in the sports section when I placed the phone back on the receiver. His eyes seemingly glued to the page. I snuck a glance toward the living room, seeing Charlie nearly asleep in his favorite recliner, with a beer still resting on his chest.

"Think he's upset? Mad ...?" Jake asked, his arms coming to wrap around my waist and his lips at my ear.

This feeling... This complete feeling... was something I could certainly get used to and I wasn't about to let Edward... or anyone else for that matter... take it away from me.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hi everyone! WOW has it been a long time since I last updated this story! I am sorry for the long overdue delay and wanted to say a big thank you to those who have continued to follow this story and who have patiently waited for me to update! A special thank you to those who reached out to me personally, asking for this story to continue on. Well... here you have it! :-) I hope you enjoy and I look forward to your reviews!**

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

Dinner with Charlie had been enjoyable and truth be told, I was almost sad to see it come to an end, as we rarely did things together like this. It was something we should do more often.

Charlie had eventually caught on to the sudden lack of conversation from me when we go home, and had tried to pull me into some form of a discussion as he unlocked the house door for us.

"Mind telling me where the sudden mood change came from? Thought we had a good time this evening ... with dinner and all? Did I miss something?"

"I did ... that's just it... seems like we should do things like this more often, you know? I mean... College is right around the corner and if I do choose to move-"

"Move?" Charlie suddenly interrupted, turning back to face me, his voice sounding strained with his stunned reply.

"Yeah ... I might move... attend College somewhere else? That hadn't occurred to you before now?"

Charlie shook his head as he pushed open the house door, his face awash of mixed emotions.

"You'd really consider leaving again? I... I thought things were... I mean... I just got you back, Bella."

His tone had me wishing there was some hidden rewind button I could hit, so I could go back and not mention this topic yet. It was only something I had been considering, not something I was sold on carrying out yet. For there were far too many variables left swaying in the wind... the main one being Jacob.

"I guess I just had no idea you were even considering leaving Forks... again." He sighed, heading in the house without speaking any further on the topic. I knew just by his tone that this had hurt him, but it truly hadn't been my intention to do so.

I followed him in, stopping short when my eyes caught sight of a familiar shadow lingering over by the forest.

"Dad... I'll be in soon... okay?"

He didn't speak his reply, instead he simply waved and closed the house door behind him.

It was mere seconds before I saw Jake appear there by the tree's... with a sunny smile that radiated to my soul, and a set of warm arms that wrapped themselves around me and drew me near the moment I was within reaching distance.

"I've missed you today..." He huskily whispered in my ear. The feel of his warm breath sending goosebumps trailing down both arms. "How was dinner with your dad?"

"... well... it went great till about five minutes ago." I replied, studying his handsome face and taking note of his shirtless appearance. My eyes wandering over his chest, as a warm tingle ran through me.

"What happened?" Jacob asked, his hand coming to cradle the side of my face, as his warm gaze grew concerned.

"It's nothing... really... I'm sure we'll work it out... in good time."

"Sure there's nothing I can do?" He kindly offered, grazing his thumb across my bottom lip.

My breath hitched as he moved closer to me, his eyes seeming transfixed on my parted lips, as I tried to form some sort of reply.

"No... I don't t-think so." I stammered, unable to get my mind to clear from the heavy fog of lust that suddenly trapped me.

My heart began to race, beating against my chest like a damn drum as Jacob lowered his hand, his fingers barely brushing my stomach and causing a flutter to jolt from within me. My hands moved of their own accord then, reaching for him and claiming his full lips with my own. His reaction was almost immediate as he pressed me flush to him, his throaty moan making my blood hum in a way that made everything else around me fade away. His hand moved into my hair, as he kissed me thoroughly, his tongue brushing mine and making me forget my own damn name.

The taste of him... was unlike anything I'd ever tasted and I couldn't seem to get enough.

My cheeks became flushed as his arms gripped me tighter, causing every inch of me to be firmly pressed to him. A soft moan left me at the feel of his body so close to mine. The affect of our close and heated contact now evident in the bulge in his jeans. I reluctantly broke our kiss, pressing my forehead to his as his warm breath ghosted over my face. His heart beating rapidly against mine now.

"Are we still going to Sam's party later? Or ... did you just wanna stay here with me?" I asked, not wanting him to go.

He looked at me with a regretful expression as he slowly released me. "That's why I showed up unannounced... Emily's come down with the flu, so Sam is home taking care of her, and needs me to fill in for him now. I wish I could stay, sweetheart..."

"Patrol, right?" I sighed, unable to hide my disappointment.

"Till almost dawn..."

I glanced toward the house and tried to get my head together as Charlie peeked out the window, his gaze narrowing at us now.

"It's late... I understand you have duties... The pack needs you."

Jacob shook his head, closing the small distance between us and capturing my lips again. His kiss still passionate and making my knees almost go weak.

"You're my duty, too... You know I'd stay if I could?" He whispered.

I nodded and remembered how Charlie had mentioned earlier in the day he would be working the early bird shift the next few days.

"You... could come back? After patrol..." I offered, my voice whispered and nervous to him as his gaze met mine.

"Charlie-"

"No, Charlie's working the early shift the next couple days. So, he'd be gone... before you showed up... if you wanted to-"

I was silenced with another kiss from him as his husky reply came in whispered breath.

"I'll be back then, Bells."

I nodded and saw his gaze study my own, with a clear search for uncertainty.

"You sure that's okay?"

"Yes... I'm sure." I replied. "I'll see you then..."

He watched me walk into the house with that last parting word. My head still fuzzy from his kiss.

I offered him a final wave, before closing the house door, my heart lodging itself in my throat when Charlie approached me then.

"What did he run out of shirts?" Charlie asked with a clear tone of anger in his voice.

"No... He was... out on a run." I shamefully lied, my eyes adverting his.

"mmm- hmm... on a run... yeah, okay."

I watched him retreat to the living room with a cold beer in hand as I scurried up the stairs and headed for the shower. My thoughts consumed with Jacob... with his kiss... with the way he made me feel.

I was shamefully inexperienced when it came to sex. That was no secret.

Any physical experience with Edward had been new and a train wreck from the start. His immortal ways making him always closed off to the idea entirely. We had only ever pushed the limit so far and believe me... that wasn't very far. Sure... being with him had been a thrill and exciting at one time, when I was completely lose in my delusional state, but none of that compared to what Jacob did to me.

He made me nervous ... and even more clumsy than usual... in the best way possible.

He would always say that my unbalanced coordination only gave him another reason to catch me... to put his arms around me. He had a way of steeling the very breath from my body every time he would cast that white and sunny smile my way. I swear it caused me to leave the ground sometimes. His touch was firm but gentle in the same way.

I stepped out of the shower, lingering in front of the mirror as I wiped the steam away in order to see my reflection. He was every essence of beautiful... his russet skin alone was captivating... me on the other hand... failed in comparison.

I shook the negative thought away as my hands secured the towel under my arms. I had always found myself plain and ordinary, and with Edward... I had felt like his charity case... Jacob had never made me feel that way... I needed to remember how he always treated me as an equal and never a less than.

I wandered over to my closet, thumbing through the many hangers and seeing nothing but sweat pants and T - shirts to wear to bed.

I sighed heavily as I searched my dresser drawers for something a little less unattractive to wear.

After much searching, I finally found a pair unworn white silk shorts and a matching camisole at the bottom of one of my drawers. My mother had bought the set for me last Christmas and I had never even removed the tags from them. I eyed the shorts warily as I saw just how short they were, noting that if I wore them, it wouldn't leave much to the imagination.

I tore the tags off and quickly slipped into the set. My eyes bulging to see how low cut the camisole was.

I adjusted the length of the straps the best I could and ran a brush through my long and tangled locks, my gaze wandering over to the clock by my bedside.

It wasn't even midnight yet...

I had four hours or more left until Jake showed back up...

I shrugged as tossed my towel into the hamper before climbing into bed and huddling myself beneath the heavy covers, the warmth of them failing miserably in comparison to Jacobs arms.

I tried to keep my eyes open for as long as I could, but sometime close to three in the morning, I succumbed to my exhaustion. I barely was awake enough to hear Charlie close the house door, as he headed of for the early shift at the station.

When a window being pulled up, followed by a rush of cold air, filtered in through the silence around me, my eyes fluttered open. Seeing the shadows from the moonlight slowly dance around my room. I tucked myself in further to the warm bed, trying to shield off the chill just as a warm hand caught mine, strong fingers lacing with my own.

"Bells..."

I felt the nerves invade my system as Jacob crouched down by the bed, the backs of his fingertips brushing my cheek when his tired gaze met mine.

I offered him a small smile and sat up in bed, still holding tightly to his hand. "I'm sorry I fell asleep... tried to wait up but..."

He was silent then and I took quick notice of how his gaze roamed over me. The blankets having slipped down to my midsection and revealing the top half of the flimsy camisole I had foolishly chosen to wear.

I silently cussed myself out while his gaze lingered and his hand tightened in mine. I shook my head nervously to him, as I slowly let go of his hand and wrapped myself back up in the blankets around me.

My face felt flush as I hurried to cover myself, feeling the bed dip as Jacob sat down and retook my hand.

"You're beautiful." He whispered into the heavy silence. His face now dangerously close to mine.

I swallowed hard as my breath nearly ceased from the intensity of his stare when it met my own.

"Thank you." I finally forced out, my heart beginning to pound painfully in my chest.

This was bold... and overly confident... especially for me... and even worse... it left me vulnerable ... something I had never wanted to be again... and not only was I vulnerable... but vulnerable to_ him._

I tried to force the insecurity from my mind while he kept his heated stare locked on my own, his eyes intensely searching me like they always did.

"You... know me... better than anyone else."

A smile lit up his face at my comment while he slowly drew my lips to his, kissing me with a tenderness I had never known. My hands came to cradle his face, as his tongue swept my bottom lip, silently asking my permission to deepen the kiss. I moved forward, returning his kiss, as his hands guided me over onto his lap, until I was straddling him. My body hummed as his warm hands roamed over my back. The thin layer of silk leaving me aware of how close to skin on skin we were. His throaty moan made my insides ache as his tongue met mine. My hands were in his hair, my body coming alive as he continued to caress me.

I felt him inch us back when I gently pushed on his chest, until we were laying, my hair cascading around us as he held my body securely to his.

Our kissing continued until I broke for air, feeling my skin flushed and my mind wandering to a place of no return with him.

Jacob then flipped us without warning, causing a surprised laugh to spill from me as his cheek came to nestle against mine. I felt his hand trail up my outer thigh, causing me to still there beneath him as a heavy ache began to spread down deep. My lips eagerly sought his as he pressed me further into the mattress, causing my head to spin and my breathing to become heavy.

His eyes came to search mine when he broke the kiss and slowly reached for the hem of my flimsy camisole. His warm fingertips barely grazing the exposed sliver of flesh just below my navel. His hand trembled briefly as he leaned down to recapture my lips, lingering on the bare skin of my abdomen, and causing a shock wave to hit me as a heavy ache began to settle deep between my thighs. Jacobs knee came to settle there, creating a pressure that made me moan aloud as his lips left mine and began to trail down to the hallow of my neck. His breath ghosting there as his tongue came to brush the bare skin of my collar bone. The heat from his skin had me blazing in a sweet burn... the kind of burn I never wanted to end.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Alright guys... I left you all hanging on a pretty steamy cliffhanger last update, so this one... well... I'll just let the chapter speak for itself! :-) Please feel free to review! Love hearing from all of you! xoxo xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

Every nerve in my body came alive at Jacob's touch. My head spun and my breath caught when his warm hand slid further up the supple flesh of my abdomen, and over the soft curve of my hip. I deepened our kiss... feeling his tongue meet mine as his fingertips grazed over my bare breast. I was unable to cease the moan that left me in response, my fingers running through his thick hair as my back arched.

I was mere putty in his strong hands... and I willingly surrendered myself to him.

I didn't know where my boldness had come from suddenly... Something so brazen was normally well out of character for me...

I also didn't know when this change had happened... when my body began to crave his the way it was now... but feeling his touch in this moment... caused a shift in me unlike any other and I felt myself become intensely aroused for him.

I tried to remember a time when my body had reacted to Edward this way... and I couldn't recall a single time... for it never had.

Jacobs lips left mine and sought the hollow groove of my neck, his tongue barely touching my skin as he went, and his hand coming to firmly knead my left breast. My body seeming to only exist where he touched me now. His fingers soon worked my pert nipple, rolling it between his thumb and index finger, and causing his name to leave me without present thought.

"... Jacob..."

The needy tone behind it was apparent and I marveled at how desperate it sounded.

My eyes closed when I felt his searing hot kisses trail to my shoulder and then to my collar bone. His lips leaving my skin set ablaze in their wake.

When his hand roamed further down, I stilled there beneath him, my nerves beginning to peak now.

He met my hesitant gaze and stilled his own movements, his dark eyes burrowing holes into mine.

My hands cradled his handsome face, seeing the devout care for me in his stare and knowing that my nerves were not needed with him.

I drew his lips back to mine in a passionate kiss, pushing past my foolish doubt, as his tongue fluttered against my own, his hand trailing further down as he slowly removed my silk shorts. His kiss, more languid when he reached for me again.

I had never known his strong hands to be as gentle as they were now.

His touch sent shivers racing up my spine and his warmth caressed every inch of my skin.

The feel of his fingertips trailing along my inner most thigh, made my insides deliciously hum for him.

I desired his touch... ached for it...

My body trembled and began to spasm when his fingertips grazed over my sex, hearing the needy groan leave me when he broke our kiss, and slid his hand between my legs, cautiously dipping his fingers beneath the flimsy lace of my underwear.

The slow burn that had settled between my thighs before, now raged to new heights, as he explored me further with skillful touches and slow caresses, his eyes intently on mine.

"Bells..." He whispered against my parted lips. The very sound of his husky voice making me reach for him, pulling him even closer to me and feeling him nuzzle against me in response.

I couldn't silence the moans he drew from me when he gently slid his warm fingers inside me, his thumb coming to circle the sensitive bud that made my insides tense and quiver. I clamped my thighs against his wrist, snapping my hips up, as a delicious burn spread through me. I felt the shudder that coursed through Jacob when his name came tumbling from my mouth in reverence.

He made me squirm under his hand... made me wet with desire for him as he found a rhythm with me... stroking my sensitive flesh over and over again until my face was burning with flush color, and my breathing was ragged.

"Jake..."

The pressure building within me became almost overwhelming. Every intimate caress from him made me feel as if I would unravel there beneath him. I lost all sense of control as he continued to slide his fingers in and out of me... over and over again... the heat between us growing with every skillful glide of them. I let out an audible cry when I felt myself get lost inside my own pleasure, my eyes closing as I contracted hard against Jacob's fingers.

"Oh... god..."

"Bells..."

I had never felt my body ache for another like this and it left me hungry for more of him... like a thirst I could not quench.

My fingers nimbly began to undo the button and zipper of his shorts, trying to rid him of the offending barrier between us.

I had never been so bold or brazen ... It was damn liberating.

Jacob responded to me instantly by drawing up on his knees and reaching for the hem of my camisole tank. I was quick to sit up and raise my arms for him, feeling the material slide over my skin, as he removed it from me and tossed it to the floor.

I was bare before him and watched as his eyes took me in with a lustful and heated gaze... his stare dark with desire yet shining before me.

The very way he looked at me had my skin feeling like it was on fire for him. My own gaze soon wandered to a point far south of his toned waist, seeing him stand and undo his shorts... skillfully... methodically... with no hesitation... capturing me in a heated glance before letting them fall to the floor below him.

He was completely naked before me now... my breath hitching as I stared at him in true awe.

I reached for him then, seeing his body grow tight, as I began to stroke the length of him, contently watching his eyes close and his head lull back in response to my touch. A deep throaty moan spilled from him when I slipped further down the bed, sinking down on my knees, and brushing the full length of him once with my palm, before taking him in my mouth, my tongue tasting his perfection and savoring it's delicacy. I carefully rolled my mouth from base to tip, whispering how perfect he was to him as I went.

"Look at me, Jacob..." I asked, seeing his eyes snap open and meet mine while I slowly opened my mouth, and slid all the way down his length. His eyes locked on my own with a fire now lit behind them.

He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen... every inch of him sculpted to muscular perfection far beyond his years. His eyes were dark with a tangible lust when he pulled me up so we were face to face again, guiding me back down on the bed, as his strong hands trailed up my thighs, slowly removing the last remaining garment of clothing that separated us.

I swallowed hard, reaching for the top drawer of my nightstand and pulling out a condom, as he gently moved my body down closer to his, the look of adoration for me in his gaze... truly breathtaking.

No one had ever looked at me like this... Like he was now ... Like I was the center of their entire being... of their world.

He took the foil wrapper from my shaking hands, rolling the condom on in one swift movement. He carefully settled himself between my naked thighs, his dark eyes searching mine while he stilled there above me, before pressing himself against my slick seam. I shuddered at the feel of him, closing my eyes as he nuzzled his head into the hallow of my neck.

I arched my back, feeling Jacob slide the tip of his swollen length against my wet folds. His body beginning to tremble with his restraint, while he wrapped an arm under me, pulling me flush to him as he gently slid inside me.

My breath became utterly stolen.

I could feel his muscles become taught and rigid as he kept me close to him, his lips barely touching my ear with his husky whisper.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too Jacob..." I replied, feeling him ease the rest of the way into me, sheathing himself to the hilt now.

I winced, as he broke through the barrier within me, my gasp of discomfort making him still instantly and tighten his hold on me. His warm lips brushed my ear as he waited for me to adjust to him, his body still trembling above me when his warm cheek came to rest against mine.

The very sound of his breathing so close to my ear, and his arms wrapping me up in a cocoon of his unique warmth, made the pain quickly fade from me. Jacob didn't move until he felt my hips thrust upward, silently encouraging him on.

When he slowly pulled back and entered me again, the pain was gone and all I could feel was his warmth.

I was submerged in him... losing all sense of anything else as he began to move within me. His firm length filling me so completely, as I breathed out his name... repeatedly... like a prayer or a chant.

"Jacob... Jacob..."

His pace was slow and deliberate at first, drawing out each thrust and keeping me flush against him.

His tenderness brought tears to my eyes and made me hold tighter to him.

A delicious burn began to awaken as he slowly began to find a new pace with me, his thrusts becoming harder than before.

I cradled his face as his lips fervently sought mine, a throaty moan rising up in his chest when my body began to writhe beneath him. I was helpless to silence the cries of carnal bliss, as he pushed me onward to a gripping release.

His eyes met mine, intently watching my expression as all the muscles in my thighs and stomach began to tense and quiver.

I felt my release soon blossom through me, leaving me panting as Jacob let out a responding gasp. His thrusts going deeper when the unexpected desire filled me again... I opened my mouth to say it... to plead with him something I never expected to ask for... but before the plea had fallen from my tongue... Jacob picked up his rhythm... his thrusts harder... more pounding... and his body now molding to my own.

My eyes shut and my back arched as his relentless rhythm made me stifle a ragged moan.

He knew... what I wanted... what I needed... before I had even told him...

This kind of connection between us left me awe struck.

My heart hammered in my chest as Jacob laced his fingers with mine, his lips at my ear ... whispering sweet nothings that meant... everything.

"You're perfect, Bells... every damn inch of you, honey... you feel so good." He breathed, with a final thrust, his body trembling in my arms when his release spread through him.

He let out a final moan, his lips capturing mine in a thorough kiss, as his thrusts slowed and soon stilled. His breathing was labored when he relaxed further into my embrace. My fingers running through his hair as I cradled his head to my chest, our bodies mangled in the sheets.

My eyes grew impossibly heavy as Jacob's breathing slowed, his hand in mine as we both drifted off to sleep, wrapped up in only each other.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

My eyes fluttered open as Jacobs arms tightened around me, struggling to adjust to the bright sunlight peering in through my window. I was warm... so warm... my body huddled into his... my back pressed to his broad chest and my fingers still laced with his own.

I felt safe... whole... sated...

I couldn't remember the last time I had felt this way... so relaxed and comfortable.

Jacob was wrapped around me like a quilt, his legs tangled with mine and his face buried in my hair while he slept. I laid there with him, marveling at how right he felt with me like this.

There was a simplicity about us that left me awe struck... he knew me better than I knew myself... and he seemed to be so in tune with me.

I shuddered as a cold thought from the past struck me...

There had been a time when I thought Edward knew me in the same way... and he left.

I pushed the thought out of my head, knowing the striking difference between the two.

Jacob was different with me. He didn't treat me like I couldn't make my own damn decisions... he didn't linger over my every move... he was protective but not over bearing. With Edward, every choice of mine was thoroughly investigated and questioned... or followed... with Jake... I felt like I could finally breathe.

In my haze of thoughts and reflections, I heard the sound of a car engine shut off just beneath my window. My breath caught in my throat when I heard Charlie talking on his cell phone.

He was home...

I sat up and frantically searched for my clothes, my hands shaking as Jake woke up with a start and got to his feet.

"Charlie's home..."

"What time is it?" Jake asked, tossing me my camisole top and shorts, before pulling on his jeans, and looking out the window. My eyes were glued to his perfect form as he hurriedly dressed, and I found myself suddenly filled with a renewed desire for him.

I forced myself to get a grip when I heard the jingle of Charlie's keys in the door, my heart lodging into my throat.

"I can go out the window-" Jacob offered, reaching for me, as the front door to the house slammed shut downstairs.

"No-... I don't want you to go-" I admitted, wrapping my arms around his neck and feeling him return my embrace.

"Charlie will kill us, Bells..." He sighed, placing a kiss to my forehead. "I can take his anger... but I don't want you getting in trouble-"

I released him, hearing Charlie busy himself in the kitchen as he prepared a meal.

"Maybe... he won't be ... that angry?"

Jacob's eyes grew wide at this... "Bells...-"

"I don't want to hide this... from him... or anyone."

"This?" He asked, his hand leaving the window and reaching for mine.

"Us..." I clarified, feeling the blush settle into my snow white cheeks. "Jacob... I - love you- and hiding this from him... or anyone else... just feels wrong... because we're not wrong, Jacob...as a matter of fact... I think... we're the most right thing in this crazy world."

He pulled me to him, cradling my face in his warm hands as his lips sought mine, his kiss thorough and passionate. I felt my head spin and my body tingle from the feel of his lips on mine.

"Bella? You awake?" Charlie called up the stairs, forcing Jacob to release me.

"He will be angry, Bells... " Jake warned, glancing again to the window. "I think we should tell him... in a different way, honey. I really don't want you catching hell for this..."

I nodded, taking heed to his warning, as I thought of just how damn pissed Charlie could become at Jacob.

"Okay... go... but... come back?"

"Always..." He whispered, stealing another kiss before climbing out my window. I watched him jump down with an agility that someone his age shouldn't posses.

When he was out of sight, I dressed and joined Charlie down stairs for breakfast, his gaze reflective while he read the paper.

"Wow... you've never slept in this late, Bella. Do you know what time it is?" Charlie asked in disbelief.

"um... I was... up late." I replied, pouring myself some orange juice and feeling his gaze upon my back.

"Oh... not feeling well?"

"I just couldn't sleep." I shamefully lied.

"Sorry to hear that." He sighed, folding up his paper and taking a swig from his hot coffee.

I struggled to even look him in the face as he poured himself more cereal.

"You know... it's funny... Billy called me on the way home... asking if maybe Jake was here?"

I froze... my hands clutching the glass of orange juice as I paused with it just below my lips.

"Was he here last night?" Charlie hedged. "After I left for work?"

I swallowed hard and set the my glass down, seeing his eyes burrow holes into mine.

I wasn't in the mood for playing games right now... and I was tired of hiding things. I had been forced to keep parts of my relationship with Edward a secret, given what he was, and I didn't want it to be the same with Jacob.

"I don't want to lie to you..." I asserted, clearing my throat as my nerves took hold. "Jacob ... stayed here with me last night."

I watched my fathers face go from curious to angry in record time, his cheeks staining pink with his flustered expression.

"What!" He exclaimed, getting to his feet and approaching me with haste. "What do you mean he stayed here with you? Are you telling me he came here when I was at the station working?"

"Yes." I blurted out in response, ringing my hands together in nervous fashion as my father began to pace the floor in front of me, his agitation prominent.

"Bella... damn it! There are rules in this house! I-"

"I love him, dad." I boldly admitted, seeing Charlie pause mid thought with an unreadable look on his face now.

I waited patiently for him to process my words, seeing his stance swiftly change from anger to confusion and then concern.

"... you love him?"

"I do." I replied, catching the evident tone of doubt in his voice. "I understand that we're young and-"

"... age has absolutely nothing to do with it, Bella. Hell... I fell in love with your mother when we were just teenagers... and that didn't mean what I felt for her wasn't real just because we were young at the time... It's not about the age."

"Then what is it? I thought you liked Jacob? A lot? You still do... don't you?"

"Of course I do... that boy is ... well-... he's like family to me already, but that doesn't mean I want the two of you rushing into something like this. Bella, you just got yourself back after Ed-"

Charlie paused, seeing me wince as he tried to compare the two. His eyes met mine and he quickly thought better of it.

"I'm not saying that this is the same thing with Jacob-"

"It's not, dad." I defended, rapidly blinking away the emotion that threatened to spill over. "It's different... he's different... and so am I."

"I'm old... but I'm not blind, Bella. I've known that Jacob has had feelings for you for a while now... jeez... the guy can't take his eyes off you whenever your around each other... and what he did for you... after Edward-... was something else. He made you smile again... and I know he's the reason you finally pulled out of the funk you were in, but love is-"

"Scary..." I admitted, sitting down at the table and fiddling with the napkins laid there.

"Yeah... it is." Charlie replied, hunkering down in the seat next to me. "... and I don't want you rushing into something you're not ready for-"

"Jacob's good for me, dad... he really is... this is what I want. It's not rushed." I sighed, offering him a slight smile and seeing his defense drop more upon the matter.

"I see that..."

"We'll respect your rules... I promise..."

"My rule is that your careful, Bella... and I mean that in every sense of the word."

"I will be." I assured him, seeing his face brighten with vivid rose color again, as he tried to avoid saying any more on the topic.

"Don't be reckless... things happen-"

"Dad... I promise... I'll be careful."

Charlie nodded his head with a heavy sigh then, as he studied my sincere expression, his own look growing to be reflective when he reached for my hand.

"... he loves you, too... doesn't he?"

I nodded, trying to hide the smile that attempted to break free. Charlie shook his head and rose from the table when he saw this.

"I'm in some trouble with you two... I just know it." He offered on his way up the stairs. "I'm headed to get some sleep. We'll talk more later."

I couldn't help but grin wide when I heard this... Charlie knew my words were true and had given me the benefit of the doubt... just like I'd hoped he would... telling him the truth had been far less painful than I thought.

I grabbed my keys from the table and headed for the door, eager to go to Jacob and tell him how smoothly things had gone. My hand was on the door knob when a knock came from the other side. I whipped it open and saw Jacob's leery gaze meet mine, his face full of anxiety when he glanced inside, checking for any signs of my father. Before any more worry could haunt his handsome face, I kissed him, my heart pounding when his muscular arms drew me close to him in response. My hands were in his hair before I could register that we were still lingering in the doorway, on display for anyone to see.

"I told him... that I love you... and that you were here with me last night."

"... and..." He breathed against my parted lips.

"He knows we have something... he knows you care for me."

"I do... I love you, Bells."

I smiled against his soft lips..."I'm pretty sure he knows that, too."

His lips captured mine in a languid kiss then. The kind that made my skin blaze and my heart race. His firm body pressed to mine as his hands roamed up my back.

"Are you busy with pack duties today?" I breathlessly asked him, my tongue barely grazing his bottom lip.

Jacob shook his head to me, his dark eyes focused on my mouth when he spoke his husky reply.

"I'm yours for the day... if you'll have me... I pulled a few strings with Sam... I'll be running border patrol for the next two nights, but I get today with you, honey."

I beamed up at him, my joy evident when he reached for my hand.

"You did that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you..." He replied, brushing his nose with mine. "So tell me... what do you have in mind for the day?"

I closed the house door and stood on my tip toes until my lips were at his ear.

"Take me to your garage? I'm sure there are... uses... for me in there... somewhere?" I whispered, as my fingers slid under his shirt, the tips of them caressing the hot skin there.

"I'm sure we can think of something... or many things..." He replied, his body trembling under my light touch.

When we arrived at his house, Billy was nowhere to be found. Jacob had discovered a note on the door, telling him he was off in town for the day with a close friend, picking up some fishing supplies. This left the house abandoned, and I couldn't stop the ache that settled between my thighs as Jacob locked the front door and looked my way, his eyes full of a lust that made my body twitch and hum with anticipation.

I simply couldn't get enough of him.


End file.
